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18 Traits of Strong Personal Leadership

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Let’s head out on the trail for today and look for the traits that we need to infuse into our lives in order to be strong personal leaders. What is personal leadership? It is simply leading yourself. You being the boss of you – strong in character and integrity every minute of every day.

Why do some leaders start strong and finish weak, like Ken Lay, former CEO of Enron, and Linda Carne, former CEO of the Girl Scouts of the Commonwealth of Virginia? Others start weak and end up finishing strong, like Abraham Lincoln, 16th president of the United States.

What’s the difference between the leaders that finish strong and those that don’t? Personal leadership.

A true leader has the confidence to stand alone, the courage to make tough decisions, and the compassion to listen to the needs of others. He does not set out to be a leader but becomes one by the quality of his actions and the integrity of his intent.

Steven Covey put it this way, “Personal leadership is the process of keeping your vision and values before you and aligning your life to be congruent with them.” Here are those traits or values:

  1. You keep your commitments. You remain steady. You’re not tossed about like a ship on the sea. You’re resolved and resolute in your commitments whether it’s to another or to yourself.
  2. You control your impulses. You don’t give in to knee-jerk reactions or flirt with temptation. You decide ahead of time how you will respond when tempted to be impulsive so that when the moment comes, you respond with integrity.
  3. You are disciplined. You do what needs to be done, even when you don’t feel like it. You stop doing what’s not working and start doing what’s required.
  4. You’re predictable. You consistently do the right thing, even when it’s hard.
  5. You know yourself. Self-awareness is the first step to strong personal leadership. You know where you are strong and where you are weak. You don’t deceive yourself into thinking that you’re anything other than what you are.
  6. You make personal development is a high priority. You continue to learn, develop, and grow. You know that personal development is the key to growth and adding value wherever you are. It keeps you relevant.
  7. You’re strong – body, mind, and spirit. You examine every area of your life. You know that you’re only as strong as the weakest area of your life. So you’re intentional to keep every area strong.
  8. You sign up to do hard things. You take on challenges because they make you better, sharper, stronger, and more focused. And, you think that’s fun.
  9. You can look back in the last year and see how you’ve grown. You’re never the same person that you were even yesterday. You’re always getting better.
  10. You have no secrets…because there is nothing to hide. All that is hidden will one day be brought to light. It’s only a matter of time.
  11. You have a good attitude, even in bad times. A good attitude doesn’t mean you’re not realistic, it means you still have hope for the future. It means you know there is purpose in everything, even if you don’t see it at the moment.
  12. You look for solutions, not problems. You’re constantly working with the cards you’ve been dealt, making them the best hand possible.
  13. You take personal responsibility. You don’t spend any energy making excuses. You spend your energy on admitting your culpability and moving on. You know that the only thing you can control is yourself and by doing so, you can influence change.
  14. Your self-talk is positive yet accurate. You believe in yourself and that you can accomplish your dreams, yet you’re realistic enough to know that you need to work it, not just think it.
  15. You shine the spotlight on others. This shows a special kind of humility and self-confidence that demonstrates strength of character.
  16. You take the time to self-reflect. You take the time to sit still and reflect. You see patterns, connect dots, and discover deeper dimensions of yourself.
  17. You have patience. You know that the path to success isn’t a straight line. You have the patience to stay the course and keep doing the right thing. You know that it will pay off in the end if you don’t give up the fight.
  18. You look for wisdom and seek for understanding. You learn from others. You seek advice and ask for feedback.

Understanding and showing personal leadership is built on integrity and will lead to a rich and satisfying life that we should desire to obtain.

King David wrote in Psalms 119:1, “Joyful are people of integrity, who follow the instructions of the Lord.”

King Solomon tells us in Proverbs 2:7, “He grants a treasure of common sense to the honest. He is a shield to those who walk with integrity.”

Make sure you’re a strong personal leader and only then will you be in a position to be a strong leader of others. Start strong. Stay strong. Finish strong.

8 Signs of Healthy Relationships

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We have a long trail ahead of us today, so strap on your hiking boots tight because we are going to have to move quickly to finish the trail on time as we learn from each other on our trail of relationships. As we hike on this trail, we need to keep alert and use our power of observation to locate the 8 signs that will teach us to create and maintain healthy relationships with everyone that we meet on this trek of life.

Nothing can bring more joy to life than beautifully fulfilling relationships. The depth of meaning, understanding, and appreciation that these kinds of relationships bring is almost unfathomable. And, of course, as many people find out, nothing can bring so much pain as a broken relationship with someone dear to you.

Yes, relationships make the world go ’round for better or for worse. But the exciting thing is that we can do much to increase our chances of having terrific relationships — relationships that are fulfilling and exciting, rich with meaning, joy, and love. There are basics that govern most human relationships and are the very basics I want to cover. So, here is my list of the eight signs that I believe comprise the basics of healthy relationships.

1. Love

Now, this all depends on your definition of love. Most people think that love is a feeling, but I would strongly debate that point. Actually, the concept of “like” is really about feelings. When you say you like someone, you are talking about how you feel about them. But when you say that you love someone, you are not necessarily talking about how you feel about them.

Love is much deeper than a feeling. Love is a commitment we make to people to always treat that person right and honorably. Yes, for those we become especially close to, we will have feelings of love, but I believe it is time for us to re-examine what we mean by love. We must expand our definition of what love means by including the commitment aspect of love.

For healthy relationships, we must love everyone. We may not like them based on how we feel about them, but we should love them based on our definition of love above, which in turn, determines how we should act toward them. That is, we should treat them right and honorably. This is the basis of all healthy relationships.

I believe the best description of what love really is can be found in the 1st letter the Apostle Paul wrote to the Church in Corinth in Chapter 13 verse 4 through 7, “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

2. Servant Heart

My mentor Zig Ziglar says frequently that “You can have everything you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want out of life.” The concept he is talking about is having a heart and life that is focused on serving other people. Philippians 2:3-5 supports this also, “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.” This is also fundamental to healthy relationships.

3. Honest Communication

Look at any good relationship, and you will find open and honest communication. Communication is important because it is the vehicle that allows us to verbalize what is inside us and enables us to connect with another person. Isn’t communication amazing? One person is feeling one thing, and through communication, another person can find that out and feel it too. Amazing.

This is a vital goal in good relationships — to communicate, to tell each other what we are thinking and what we are feeling. It enables us to make a connection. Sometimes we are the one speaking and other times we are listening. Either way, the central tenet is communication for the sake of building the relationship and making it stronger. And here’s what’s exciting…If we just communicate, we can get by. But if we communicate skillfully, we can work miracles!

4. Friendliness

Put simply, relationships just work better when we are friendly with others. Being friendly can cushion the bumpy ride we sometimes experience in our relationships. Cheerfulness goes a long way toward building lasting relationships. I mean, nobody wants to be around a grump, do they? The fact is that the friendlier you are the more you are going to have people who want to pursue longer-lasting, mutually beneficial relationships with you. So cheer up, put on a smile, have kind words to say to others, treat people with a great deal of friendliness, and you will see your relationships improve.

5. Patience

People being people, we have an awful lot of time for practice in the area of patience. People are not perfect and will constantly fail us. Conversely, we will also fail other people. So, while we try to have more patience for others, we need their patience as well.

So often, I think relationships break down because people give up and lose patience. I am talking about all kinds of relationships – friendships, marriages, business partnerships, etc. Recent research has shown that those marriages that go through major turmoil and make it through are very strong after doing so. Patience wins out.

Those who give up on relationships too early or because the other person isn’t perfect, often forget that their next friend, spouse, or business partner will not be perfect either! So, we would do well to cultivate this skill and learn to have more patience.

6. Loyalty

Loyalty is a commitment to another person. Sadly, loyalty is often a missing element in many relationships today. We have forgotten what it means to be loyal. Our consumer mentality has affected this to some degree. People are no longer loyal to a product. And unfortunately, many companies are not loyal to their clients or patrons. Regrettably, this has spilled over into our relationships. It is one thing to switch brands of dishwashing detergent. It is another thing altogether to switch friends.

Sometimes we just need to commit to being loyal and let the relationship move forward. We need a higher level of stick-to-it-iveness! This kind of loyalty will take our relationships to a much deeper level. What a powerful and secure feeling of knowing that you have a relationship with someone who is loyal to you and you to them — that neither of you is going anywhere even when things get tough. Wow, how powerful!

7. A Common Purpose

One of the basics of healthy relationships is to have a common purpose, and oftentimes, this is a component that is initially overlooked. But, for a long-term, long-lasting relationship, it is vital.

Think about how many friends you have met through the years while working on a common purpose. Maybe it was someone you met while participating in sports, working on a political campaign, attending church, working at your office, or doing anything that brought you together to work on a common purpose. You had that strong common bond of purpose that brought you together and held you together.

Working together, building together, failing and succeeding together — all while pursuing a common purpose — is what relationships are made of. Find people with whom you have common purposes and sow the seeds of great relationships, and then reap the long-lasting benefits.

8. Fun

All good relationships have some element of fun. Now, that doesn’t necessarily mean loud, raucous fun, though that is appropriate for some relationships. But, even in business relationships, there should be some fun. It should be fun to do business with those who you are going to have a long-term business relationship with. Fun brings enjoyment to the relationship and that is important.

I think that this key element can be easily forgotten or neglected in our family and spousal relationships. The fun things we did initially in a new relationship after a while can be taken for granted or simply fall by the wayside, and we stop creating the fun and joy. So, remember to consciously craft fun situations and moments, for these are the glue that holds our memories together and makes our lives sweet.

There are so many key ingredients to making and maintaining great, long-lasting relationships. Each of the eight components we discussed brings unique dynamics and rewards to our relationships. Let’s begin to focus on improving our relationships in these areas and see what miracles occur!

What Is Motivation?

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Motivating Yourself to Success

A motive is an impulse that causes a person to act. Motivation is an internal process that makes a person move toward a goal. Motivation, like intelligence, can’t be directly observed. Instead, motivation can only be inferred by noting a person’s behavior.

Motivation can come from an external source. But you will only be motivated until the reward or pain, which the motivation provides, is considered worthwhile to you.

Lasting motivation can only come from an internal drive. Passion, drive, planning, focus, and steady action – these are the hallmarks of a self-motivated individual.  These attributes are the keys to every successful individual. All of them have their origin and their lives within that larger realm of self-motivation. When you are self-motivated, you realize that smart and hard work will be evidenced through your drive to succeed.

As we are reminded in  Proverbs 13:4, “Lazy people want much but get little, but those who work hard will prosper.” Motivate yourself for success this week!