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Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life – Part 2

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Your Mind and Your Life

In our previous Wisdom Note, we began a 7 week series about how you can change your life by changing how you think and what you think about. This week we will continue with Part 2.

As we continue our thoughts about thinking, we will stop by two more waypoints out of our total of twelve waypoints. At each waypoint, you will have the occasion to reflect on and change how you think. By changing your thinking, these waypoints will allow you to change your life in a positive direction. The discussions for those waypoints will be based on the perspectives and wisdom that I have gained through a life of studying wise individuals that have trekked the trails of life and provided us wisdom and insights from their journeys.

Can changing your thinking really change your life? As I have studied and observed wise and unwise people for over 35 years now, I have found there is a distinct difference between wise and successful people and unwise and unsuccessful people. It usually boils down to how they think!

To grow in wisdom each day, you should be asking yourself the difficult questions that cause you to reflect on your life so that you can expand your world. It is then you will have the ability to impact others to a greater capacity.

We must grow ourselves before we can ever hope to help grow others.

It’s time to break camp now and head towards the next waypoint or rest stop. As we head down the trail today, let us focus on what we learn at each stop and think creatively on how this will help us to live abundantly in all areas as we are creating a living legacy.Wise and successful people practice certain thinking habits, and in order for you to become wise and successful, you need to entrench these same thinking habits into your mind.

2. Engage in Focused Thinking

Focused thinking allows you to think clearly about a problem. This skill helps you to direct energy toward a specific objective, bring more clarity to issues, and take ideas to the next level. When engaging in focused thinking, you should select challenges or areas that are most likely to have the greatest impact.

Here are five ways that you can improve your focused thinking:

  • Eliminate distractions and focus on areas that will provide the greatest impact.
  • Devote time to focused thinking. Although multi-tasking is a popular word in today’s world, it is not conducive to focused thinking. New evidence has shown that we really cannot multitask and, for most people, working on multiple tasks at a time is really counterproductive.
  • Keep items of focus in view. You must concentrate on things that matter. You must keep the important items of focus in front of you.
  • Set milestones. When you set clear objectives, it is easy for the mind to focus.
  • Question your progress. Periodically monitor whether you have made progress. Progress is the best measure of whether your focused thinking is working well.

As you gain wisdom and experience, the need to focus becomes more critical. The more you grow, the more focused you can be – and need to be.

Focus Question: “Am I dedicated to removing distractions and mental clutter so that I can concentrate with clarity on the real issue?” 

3. Harness Creative Thinking

Creative thinking is an important part of how wise and successful individuals think, but we find few people possess this skill. To be a creative thinker you need to value ideas, enjoy exploring options, embrace uncertainty, celebrate the unconventional, connect what is seemingly unconnected, and do not fear failure.

Creative thinking is valuable because it results in a large number of ideas for consideration. To adopt creative thinking you need to be seeking new ideas and learning more.

Here are five ways to stimulate your creativity:

  • Avoid spending too much time with “creativity killers.” Creativity killers are people who are comfortable with the status quo and do not embrace new ideas. When you have a great idea, you must not let anyone dissuade you.
  • Ask the right questions. If you are going to think creatively and to challenge the status quo, it is necessary that you ask good questions.
  • Develop a creative environment for yourself. Negative environments destroy great ideas, but creative environments are like greenhouses where your great ideas are cultivated. Focus on innovation and allow yourself to dream.
  • Spend time with other creative people. One way to counteract a negative environment is to spend time with creative people. Creativity tends to be contagious. Spend time with those that bring out the best in you.
  • Get out of “your box.” It is easy to get stuck in the same routines. One of the best ways to avoid this is for you to seek out new paradigms through travel or reading about new subjects.

Focus Question: “Am I working to break out of my “box,” exploring ideas and options, so I can experience  a creative breakthrough?”

When reflecting on these two waypoints for today, we see how proper thinking provides a person with wisdom and ability. This brings to my mind when Moses was planning for the construction of the tabernacle. He needed to select people who were both focused and creative in their thinking, evident in Exodus 35:25, “All the women who were skilled in sewing and spinning prepared blue, purple, and scarlet thread, and fine linen cloth.” Also in verse 31 we see, “The Lord has filled Bezalel with the Spirit of God, giving him great wisdom, ability, and expertise in all kinds of crafts.” The entire 35th chapter of Exodus is a very interesting read. I would highly recommend.

Think about the two questions that were asked today. Reflect on them. This is an important step in changing your thinking and changing your mind.

Stepping Off the Cliff

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Life Changes and Cliff Hangers

Within our Wisdom Notes, we want to explore how to handle any major change in our lives. With the diagnosis of leukemia in our 2 1/2 year-old granddaughter Hazel six weeks ago, we who are close to her and her situation certainly feel that we are stepping off the cliff. Today as we consider the topic of stepping or maybe even slipping off a cliff, we need to consider how we are going to handle it in advance.

Major changes in life, whether by choice or by circumstance, can be intimidating, even very scary. But life is about having the faith to move forward, even when the path ahead is not clear or solid. To grow in wisdom, we need to gain the confidence to continue as we take one more step, even when the trail before us is shrouded in fog, and we cannot see our way. During those times, it is easy to lose our footing and not know how to recover.

Visualize we are hiking up a long, winding trail on a beautiful mountainside. The flowers are wafting their summer scents through the warm air. The hummingbirds are darting to and fro, seemingly effortless in their flight. The path is not smooth, but the rocks do not hinder our progress. Occasionally, a tree limb or root causes a short detour. We navigate around these minor obstructions and get back onto the path, winding its way to the peak.

As you round a sharp corner in front of you, the trail suddenly narrows. As you place one sure foot in front of the other, there is a drop off that appears before you. There is sheer rock below you for hundreds of feet. It startles you as a few loose pebbles find thier way down into the apparently bottomless span before you. Then one of your feet slips, and you start to tumble.

Scary situation, isn’t it? It makes my heart pound just to ponder it!

Life’s trek can be similar to this. Most days we can easily navigate across small detours, and it is easy enough to get back on the path. In some seasons, though…as we traverse the trail before us on this trek we call “life,” dark shadows fall across our way. Some days we face torrential rainstorms that prevent any evident progress. Yet we must press on and on, ever upward. But what about those cliffs of life? What happens when we lose our footing or we step off the cliff?

Stepping off of a cliff is analogous to any major life change. How is the best way to deal with those changes so that you land on your feet and can walk away with little collateral damage?

1. Accept the Change

The most surefire way to make a big change more difficult for yourself is to fight it. Although having a hard time letting go is a natural reaction, a desire to live in the past will only cause more pain and prolong the adjustment period. Instead of dwelling on what you’re leaving behind on the solid path, such as a home, a job, close family, or security — focus on getting through the change right now and create a positive future. In order to do that successfully, you must first accept the reality that your life will no longer be the same. “The only constant in life is change. In order to succeed, you must embrace this fact.”

2. Find Time for Reflection

Whether it’s journaling, meditation, prayer, Bible study, taking long walks on your own, or talking to a trusted friend, periods of change are when it’s most important to stop and assess how you’re feeling about everything. Self-reflection can help you identify your main sources of challenge and worry, and to see other sides of the situation. Taking time for reflection will also help you to act mindfully and with intention as you take your next steps. Even Christ got away from the crowds and spent time reflecting. We see this in Luke 5:16, “But Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer.”

3. Take It One Day At A Time

When you start feeling overwhelmed by all the changes that are taking place, remember to take things one step and one day at a time. Set small, attainable goals for the future, and try not to get wrapped up in speculations or anxieties about where your future is headed. Learning to live in the now — not in your nostalgia for the past or worry about the future — will make any challenges seem more manageable. If it helps, create a timeline and write down your goals and plans, both long-term and short-term. None of us knows what tomorrow holds, so focus mostly on today. Abraham Lincoln told us,  “The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time.”

4. Find a Mentor

Talking to an older friend or relative who has successfully stepped on the cliff and lived to tell about it can make a huge difference in helping you feel equipped to handle the change. Take the time to meet for coffee, lunch, or a long-distance remote time to hear their story and ask for advice on conquering your own big change. The wisdom that can be found in others is worth any price. Proverbs 1:23 encourages, “Come and listen to my counsel. I’ll share my heart with you and make you wise.”

5. Learn To Be An Optimist

Overcoming negative thought patterns and cultivating a positive outlook will shift your mindset so that you learn to see opportunities for growth where previously there were only roadblocks. The sun is always shining above the clouds of life. Every big change has something beneficial to bring to your life. ” Before you change your thinking, you have to change what goes into your mind,” Zig Ziglar.

When you do slip and stumble, and you will, if you are a Christ follower, you will be able to persevere through God’s strength and find solid ground with a new song in our hearts as is reflected in Psalms 40:1-3,

“I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,
and he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground
and steadied me as I walked along.
He has given me a new song to sing,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see what he has done and be amazed.
They will put their trust in the Lord.”

Let’s move forward on our trek, realizing that when you do step off the cliff, you will be able to land on your feet. No change will be so large that you cannot handle it. As your guide, friend, mentor, and fellow sojourner, let me know how I can help when you find yourself stepping off a cliff.

Learning from Failure

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Turning Failure Into Success – Steps 21-25

This week in our Wisdom Note, we finish our exploration of the 25 steps needed to turn failure into success. As mentioned in previous weeks, obstacles and failures, if handled wisely, can become our stepping stones for a successful life trek.

While we try to plan and set the course of our lives, we have to realize that our trek of life will have its twists and turns that we cannot plan for. This is one reason we need to embrace each new day fully and live abundantly in all that we do.

We can and should plant and water the seeds, but ultimately, it is God who determines when that seed will sprout and how bountiful the harvest will be. This is such a difficult lesson to learn for most of us but one that is so valuable. With these lessons, we will inevitably run into failures along the path of life, whether those are caused by us or someone/something else. For this reason, we have invested the past few weeks looking at how we can bring beauty from ashes and success through failure. So let’s examine the final five failure scenarios 21-25.

Failures teach us to let go of the past. We must accept that there’s nothing we can do to change the past. You did the best you could. When you’re facing your failures, know that you were as good, loving, and effective as you could have been. That you did the best that you could based on the information you had at that time. If you were to go back, you couldn’t do anything differently because that’s who you were and that’s what you knew then. It’s done. Let go of your past. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.

That brings to my mind a paragraph from the Apostle Paul’s letter to the church in Philippi. In Phillipians 3:12-14 we read, “I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” “We run from failure…we run to success…but what really matters is not what we’re running from but where we are running to!”

Stepping Stone #21 – Let go of the past.

Don’t feed the fire that burns you. We need to be very careful what we allow to roam within our minds. Most of our thoughts of failure only exist in our head and are merely ideas. It may not seem like that, but that is how it is. If you believe that you can’t or shouldn’t do something because it may lead to failure, then that’s a thought in your mind. If you believe you are better than others, that’s a thought. If you believe you are no good, that’s a thought.

Our thoughts are linked together and constructed from other thoughts that we’ve learned and allowed to grow in our minds. These thoughts can be good or bad, but if you are feeding the thoughts of failure in your mind, then that fire that rages within you will consume you. We need to analyze our thoughts, choose the ones that are good and helpful, and discard the rest.

As we have mentioned before, in Scripture the word “heart” and “mind” can be used interchangeably. Think of that as we read Luke 6:45, “A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good mind, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil mind. What you say flows from what is in your mind.”

Stepping Stone #22 – Don’t feed a failure mindset.

Failure is never an option. If you want to achieve a goal in life, then you have to be assured that you are fully prepared and have resolve to guarantee that failure will never be a permanent option for you and those you impact. If you remember back or have read about the Apollo 13 mission back to earth when it was damaged, you likely remember this quote. NASA controller Jerry C. Bostick said these now famous words, “Failure is not an option,” and that phrase has been etched into our collective memory ever since.

Stepping Stone #23 – Failure is not an option.

You always have a choice. If you can’t physically change something, you can always change the way you think about it. You can sit in the dark, or you can find your inner light and discover powerful pieces of yourself you never knew existed. You can view a crisis as an invitation to learn something new, viewing the shake-up in your outer world as an enlightening opportunity to wake-up your inner world. You must choose to, “Keep moving forward.”

Stepping Stone #24 – Failure provides choices.

You can control your own destiny. Notwithstanding the role that God plays in our lives, He also permits a great deal of freedom for us to make the choices that shape our destiny. In order to make choices that may change your destiny, you must first know yourself and what you are creating moment by moment. What you do in the present moment brings you closer to shaping your destiny. Make the choice and move forward. Choices are the hinges of our destiny. When adversity strikes (and it will), it’s not what happens that will determine our destiny. It’s how we react to what happens. You can choose failure, or you can choose success. Ultimately it is your decision. “Destiny is not a matter of chance, it’s a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved,” Jennings Bryan.

Stepping Stone #25 – Failure teaches us to choose our destiny of success.

We continue this with our practical lesson from the Bible about Gideon. It is a very intriguing story of hardships and failure for the nation of Israel by the hands of the Midianites. If you have never done so, I would encourage you to read the entire story that is found in Judges 6 and 7.

The nation of Israel had failed God by setting up alters and places of worship to false gods. So God sent an angel to Gideon who told him that he would be assigned the responsibility to rescue the nation of Israel.

At first, Gideon faltered or failed to trust God’s plan. First, Gideon destroyed some alters to false god Baal and was nearly killed by his family members. His father Joash stepped in and reasoned with the crowd to let Baal defend himself. From that point Gideon started to be viewed as a leader. So, let’s pick up the story in Judges 6:33-40 where we see that Gideon still had his doubts, “Soon afterward the armies of Midian, Amalek, and the people of the east formed an alliance against Israel and crossed the Jordan, camping in the valley of Jezreel. Then the Spirit of the Lord clothed Gideon with power. He blew a ram’s horn as a call to arms, and the men of the clan of Abiezer came to him. He also sent messengers throughout Manasseh, Asher, Zebulun, and Naphtali, summoning their warriors, and all of them responded.

Then Gideon said to God, ‘If you are truly going to use me to rescue Israel as you promised, prove it to me in this way. I will put a wool fleece on the threshing floor tonight. If the fleece is wet with dew in the morning but the ground is dry, then I will know that you are going to help me rescue Israel as you promised.’ And that is just what happened. When Gideon got up early the next morning, he squeezed the fleece and wrung out a whole bowlful of water.

Then Gideon said to God, ‘Please don’t be angry with me, but let me make one more request. Let me use the fleece for one more test. This time let the fleece remain dry while the ground around it is wet with dew.’ So that night God did as Gideon asked. The fleece was dry in the morning, but the ground was covered with dew.”

We see that Gideon still struggled, doubted, and failed to move forward. In spite of that, he persevered, was victorious and had great success. In next week’s Wisdom Notes we will continue with our story of Gideon as we explore the first six of twelve trails of courage.

The Turning Point of Success

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Turning Failure Into Success – Steps 11-15

This week in our Wisdom Note, we continue to explore the steps needed to turn failure into success. Obstacles and failures, if handled wisely, can actually become our stepping stones for a successful life trek.

As we continue today, we will use five more stepping stones as we traverse life’s trails before us. Our lives are filled with obstacles, difficulties, and, at times, failures. Here are five more ways we can navigate over, under, around, and through the obstacles of life.

Overcome the fear; overcome the procrastination. Fear of failure, not the failure itself, is the biggest roadblock to your success. When you have overcome the fear of failure, you overcome your procrastination and excuses for inaction. Thereafter you are well on your way to fail, learn, and succeed like never before. When you run into fear that is blocking you from taking action, ask yourself, “What is the worst thing that can happen if I take this action?” Unless it is physical harm or death to you or someone else, then what is stopping you? Everything else can be overcome. Ralph Heath put it this way, “The quickest road to success is to possess an attitude toward failure of ‘no fear.’”

Stepping Stone #11 – Overcome the fear by taking action.

Not getting what you desire can be a blessing. Not obtaining success immediately can be a real blessing because it forces you to reevaluate things and gain a new perspective. It opens new doors to opportunities and information you would have otherwise overlooked. When the rewards of success are great, so are the challenges. Embracing the possibility of failure is key to taking on a variety of risks, whether you’re reinventing yourself by starting a new business or allowing yourself to trust another person to build a deeper relationship. “Clouds in our lives are sent many times to bring showers of blessing.”

Stepping Stone #12 – Failure can be a blessing in disguise.

Failure teaches us to blame ourselves first and take responsibility. Our first reaction to failure is to blame anyone/anything but ourselves. If we perceive others are to blame, then there is nothing we can do to correct the problem. We cannot change people’s personalities, neither can they change ours. If we assume responsibility, then we can analyze what went wrong and take corrective action. This is the art of bouncing back from failure. To achieve your personal best, to reach unparalleled heights, and to make the impossible possible, you can’t fear failure. You have to take responsibility for your actions, you must think big, and you have to push yourself. “The more you take responsibility for your past and present, the more you are able to create the future you seek,” Celestine Chua.

Stepping Stone #13 – Failure teaches us to take responsibility.

Failure forces us to do things right. Failure is discouraging. It drains energy and resources, but it forces us to do things right. Failure separates those who think they want success from those who are determined to succeed. Failure narrows the playing field. The first people out are those that blame others, and the next out are those who lose interest. The weak go first. The strong learn to hang in there and keep bouncing back until they win. “It’s true that not everyone is positive by nature,” John C. Maxwell.

Stepping Stone #14 – Failure forces change.

Failure tells us we are going in the wrong direction. If you are out hiking and find yourself on a trail that will not lead you to your destination, then you are forced to stop, change course, and get on a correct trail. Continuing down the same path will only get you farther from your destination. In personal or business very often, this change of direction is forced on us because we are out of money or resources. Once we come to that realization then we are free to choose another path. The wrong path should not be viewed as time wasted but as lessons learned. When you try a new trail, chances are you will get it right. New paths will result in bringing you to the correct direction. “Life is tough enough as it is. It’s even tougher when we’re headed in the wrong direction,” Max Lucado.

Stepping Stone #15 – Failure helps us to get back on the correct path.

As we look at the practical lesson from the Scriptures on how failures resulted in success, we will read today of Moses’ response to his father-in-law Jethro, who gave Moses a plan to turn his failure into success when judging the Hebrew nation.

Let’s continue the story in Exodus 18:24-26, “Moses listened to his father-in-law’s advice and followed his suggestions. He chose capable men from all over Israel and appointed them as leaders over the people. He put them in charge of groups of one thousand, one hundred, fifty, and ten. These men were always available to solve the people’s common disputes. They brought the major cases to Moses, but they took care of the smaller matters themselves.”

From Jethro’s advice, Moses structured the first court system for the Hebrew nation. He set judges up in a hierarchal form to alleviate the need for judging all the people himself. Finally, Moses had time to focus on what he was called to do, which was to lead the entire nation. He truly achieved success through his failure.

What are the areas of your life where you need to turn the failures into successes? In next week’s Wisdom Note, we will see how Gideon failed to trust God but through a series of tests was able to succeed.

Turning Failure Into Success

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Success Steps 6-10

This week our Wisdom Notes are coming from beautiful Rio Verde, AZ. I am here working with our partners on our construction projects. Phase I is coming to an end within the next month. We are hopeful that the developer will move forward with Phase II immediately. That decision is based on the strength of sales on the first 12 town homes. There are a lot of steps in a project of this size, and we do run into glitches and missteps frequently. It requires us to turn those failures around in order for the overall project to be successful.

This week we continue to explore the steps needed to Turn Failure Into Success. Obstacles and failures, if applied correctly, can actually become our stepping stones for a successful life trek.

As we continue on, we want to use five more stepping stones as we traverse life’s trails before us. Our lives will be filled with obstacles, difficulties, and, at times, failures. Here are five more ways we can navigate over, under, around, and through the obstacles of life.

The more you fail, the more you learn. While we should not purposely fail, we need to thrive on the wisdom and experience that we gain from failing. We need to soak it in and embrace it. Our objective each day should be to make a positive difference in the lives of others through taking action.

When we take smart action we should never fear failure. We need to persevere in spite of failures. Every failure is a learning opportunity on how not to do something or how to do it better. If we are going to be an achiever then to some extent failure is the way of life. Every failure makes us much more determined to succeed. “Failure and defeat are life’s greatest teachers but sadly, most people, don’t want to go there!” Ralph Heath.

Stepping Stone #6 – Learn from your failures.

Failure can be positive or negative. Failure is a learning tool. Thomas Edison failed a thousand times before he invented the lightbulb. Failure is trying to do things others have not considered. It is a temporary by-product of creativity. It is challenging the learning process. A reporter once asked Thomas Edison the inventor of the lightbulb how it felt to fail 1,000 times? “‘I didn’t fail 1,000 times,’ Edison responded. ‘The lightbulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”

Stepping Stone #7 – Failures are steps to success.

Failure is experiential education at work. To be a real winner in life you need to endure failure and the agony it produces. Success is achieved when you are willing to take risks and lose. Most people choose to engage in occupations and activities that are safe and predictable. If you enjoy that, do the very best you can and enjoy each day. For many people, those occupations don’t deliver satisfaction, fulfillment, or joy in living. If you find yourself in that position, then for you, failure is not to move in the directions of your dreams. If you desire something more, then take action, “Decide whether or not the goal is worth the risks involved. If it is, stop worrying and pursue your dreams, or you will only fail by taking no action.”

Stepping Stone #8 – Failure provides experiential education.

Failure can be a weapon. We can learn discipline through failures. It allows us to sharpen ourselves against the grindstone of failure. We do not need to make excuses for failure. We need to allow it to be the weapon of determination to succeed. Although you might fail incredibly, you might succeed incredibly, and that’s why incredible risk and courage are required. Fail or succeed, either way, you’ll learn more than ever about your strengths, talents, and resolve, and you’ll strengthen your will for the next challenge. “Sharpen your success weapons on the grindstone of failure.”

Stepping Stone #9 – Use failure as your weapon to succeed.

Failure programs you for success. Every failure has a built-in mechanism to auto-correct and reprogram you for success. Therefore, think of failures as a way of programming you to improve and succeed. When we fail, we naturally activate the auto-correct mechanism that provides us with the tools needed to work successfully the next time. “You’ve got to keep finding better ways to run your life, or someone will take what you’ve accomplished, improve upon it, and be very pleased with the results.”

Stepping Stone #10 – Program failures into success.

Let’s continue with a practical lesson from the Scriptures on how failures resulted in success. In last week’s Wisdom Notes, we left off with Moses’ father-in-law, Jethro, rebuking him for how he was handling the administration of cases that were brought before him for judgment. Up until this point Moses was handling the entire workload himself – sounds like something I would attempt.

Let’s continue the story in Exodus 18:19-23, “Now listen to me, and let me give you a word of advice, and may God be with you. You should continue to be the people’s representative before God, bringing their disputes to him. Teach them God’s decrees, and give them his instructions. Show them how to conduct their lives. But select from all the people some capable, honest men who fear God and hate bribes. Appoint them as leaders over groups of one thousand, one hundred, fifty, and ten. They should always be available to solve the people’s common disputes, but have them bring the major cases to you. Let the leaders decide the smaller matters themselves. They will help you carry the load, making the task easier for you. If you follow this advice, and if God commands you to do so, then you will be able to endure the pressures, and all these people will go home in peace.”

Notice the wise advice from Jethro to solve the issue of Moses. Moses was floundering and struggling with keeping up with the workload. You might say he was failing in his ability to handle the situation.

Jethro’s first advice to Moses was to let him know that he is still in charge and responsible for what goes on, but he does not have to do all the work himself. In fact, we already saw that he was not capable of doing so. He instructed Moses to teach others to handle the matters of dispute, except the very major ones. But Moses had to make sure that he chose not only capable men but also honest men who would execute the laws properly. You can see from these instructions that most modern societies have their court systems patterned after these suggestions.

In next week’s Wisdom Notes we will see if Moses took Jethro’s advice as we explore Stepping Stones 11-15 on our journey to turn failure into success.