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Life Is Like a Milk Bottle

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The focus of our Wisdom Note is a lesson gleaned from my childhood. My parents would always encourage each of us 10 kids to set goals and work hard to achieve them. They would tell us not to be a follower and not to set limits on what we could achieve. They truly believed that there were no limits and that you could achieve whatever you wanted.

This reminds me of the following story about a radish and a milk bottle. It’s a story that I have never forgotten.

A Farmer’s Lesson In Life

A farmer won the first prize at the country fair for his huge radish that was the exact shape and size of a quart milk bottle. Many were curious as to how the farmer was able to grow this radish that was the exact shape of a milk bottle.

Finally, one gentleman went up to the farmer and asked the question. The farmer replied, “It was easy. I got the seed growing and then I put it into the milk bottle. It had nowhere else to go.”

You can use this story as an analogy to life. Our lives are shaped by the kind of surroundings we place ourselves in, the people that we allow to influence us, and the goals we give ourselves.

These Are Key Ingredients

If we only dream and take no action, then we get no further. But if we plan, set a goal, and take action, then our life takes a different shape.

The important parts of goal setting go way beyond just writing down a goal statement and thinking that somehow your goal will be reached.

To write a goal is only a minor part of the way forward. The rest of the elements of how to reach that goal must also be stated clearly and with a definite time frame for each step.

This means that you must develop a detailed plan of action in which each action step is detailed on what you must do, when and how you must do it, and how much time it will take. If you do not make your plan detailed in this way and set specific target dates for completion, you will simply not be creating any expectation or urgency in your mind that helps keep you moving.

But what about the bumps along the path? Sometimes, even when you are following your action plan, you will run into a snag. Snags are not uncommon, and you should realize this before you even get started.

These snags, though, should be viewed only as little inconveniences; these inconveniences are meant for you to resolve and move forward again.

These little problems are those that most people cannot overcome because they simply quit, using the excuse that their goal was never meant to be.

Show that you are different. Show that you have the dedication and resolve to keep going, and you will demonstrate to yourself and everyone around you that you are dedicated to accomplishing that which you have set out in your goal statement.

Do Not Go It Alone

The fact that you know that there will always be minor roadblocks is a good reason to solicit the guidance and help of a mentor.

This mentor is a person who has a positive attitude, is very skilled at always looking and finding solutions to issues and problems, and is someone who has experienced similar issues along their way to accomplishing their goals.

I cannot stress finding the right mentor or mentors enough. I trust that I can fill the role as one of your mentors in life. If you ever have a need to discuss any issues with me directly, please email me at guthrie@venturecg.com, and I will get back with you on a timely basis.

Goals and actions can help us accomplish more in a year than what some people will accomplish in a lifetime. To prove this point, read the biographies of successful people, and you will see that goals and actions did, in fact, play a big role in their success.

In summary, don’t put yourself in a bottle. In other words, move out of what is comfortable and secure if you want to move forward. Also, don’t allow others to try and force you into their bottle. Instead, follow the encouraging words of the Apostle Paul in his letter to the Church in Rome in Chapter 12 verse 2, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

11 Life Changing Lessons

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In this Wisdom Note, let us consider this thought, “When we are hiking and in our daily lives, it is imperative that we enhance our power of observation. The more we increase our ability to observe, learn, and understand, the wiser we will become.”

In this note, we will expand on the trail of opportunity that we began last week and observe the 11 mile markers that will teach us some life-changing lessons. Once we have mastered these lessons, we will be able to more effectively impact the lives of others, which will allow us to create a living legacy that ripples through our world and through generations to come. I have gleaned these lessons from one of my virtual mentors Zig Ziglar, who has impacted millions throughout the world.

The trail will be a little longer this week, but it is a beautiful time of year to take our trek. Visualize in your mind as we meander down the trail, we are looking for the mile markers that should be along the path. We must use our keen sense of observation, otherwise we may miss the markers, which at times are hidden in the underbrush. In the same way, many important markers in our lives become hidden with all the stuff that we buy or the activities we do, and we miss very important lessons.

Finally, the first of 11 mile markers comes into view.

Mile-Marker #1 – First help others.

“You will get all you want in life, if you help enough other people get what they want.”

It’s possible to get ahead in life by taking advantage of other people. But it’s far better (and easier) to get ahead by understanding what people want and then helping them get it. Once you’ve gone out of your way to solve somebody’s problem, they’ll go out of their way to help you achieve your goals. The goal of every successful person is to help as many people as possible as much as possible. When you create something that’s of great value to many people, your life or business is assured of success.

Mile Marker #2 – Success is lived.

“Success is in the doing, not the getting; in the trying, not the triumph.”

Seeing success as an end goal is one of the biggest misconceptions of success. Success is actually an ongoing journey, more about enjoying the trail than the destination. According to Zig, the most rewarding part of becoming a successful person is the actual becoming. He said, “What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.”

Mile Marker #3 – Keep moving.

“Remember there is plenty of room at the top — but not enough to sit down.”

To be a difference maker in this world, you must continue moving forward until the very end. A strong work ethic is a key to success. “Get rich quick” schemes will never work. “The elevator to success is broken, but the stairs to success are always available.” Many people have negative associations with hard work. But just as climbing the stairs can be more satisfying than riding the elevator, the work of success doesn’t have to feel hard at all. Zig put it this way, “You don’t pay the price for success. You enjoy the price for success.” Proverbs 13:11 puts it this way, “Wealth from get-rich-quick schemes quickly disappears; wealth from hard work grows over time.”

Mile Marker #4 – Actually, you do have time.

“Lack of direction, not lack of time, is the problem. We all have twenty-four hour days.”

One excuse that I don’t have much patience for is “I don’t have enough time.” Every person that’s ever lived has had the same number of hours in a day, week, or year. The difference between people who achieve their ambitious goals and those who don’t is the ability to harness those hours purposefully and efficiently.

Next time you feel like you don’t have enough time to do what you want to do, think about somebody you admire who’s accomplished that and more. If they could find the time, then so can you. Learn to use your time wisely. As Zig said, “You can earn more money, but when time is spent it’s gone forever.”

Mile Marker #5 – Make motivation a habit.

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily.”

Self-motivation needs to be part of your daily routine. No person or external force can motivate you. It must come from within. Learn and practice daily habits that will motivate you.

Mile Marker #6 – Find good everywhere.

“The healthiest of all human emotions is gratitude.”

Zig has always emphasized the importance of your attitude (“Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.”) And, he’s called gratitude “the most important and by far the most life-changing attitude.”

No matter how bad you think your situation is, you can still be thankful for what you have – whether that’s your health, your family, or simply the fact that you’re alive on this amazing planet. Appreciating what you have can help set in motion events that will give you more to be thankful for…“The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more you will have to express gratitude for.”

You can learn to love just about any situation in life if you remind yourself every morning and every night of everything that you do like about that situation, even small things.

Mile Marker #7 – Over-deliver.

“When we do more than we are paid to do, eventually we will be paid more for what we do.”

This is a principle that will eventually pay rewards. “Over-deliver in all you do, and soon you will be rewarded for the extra effort.”

Mile Marker #8 – Delay gratification.

With fast-food restaurants on every corner and high-speed Internet in the palm of our hands, we live in a world of instant gratification. But instant gratification disappears as quickly as it comes, and it often does little to advance your long-term goals. “The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want right now.” If you always succumb to immediate desires, then you’re always going to be living from one fleeting pleasure to the next. Instead, take action in the present based on what you want most in the long-term.

“Discipline yourself to do the things you need to do when you need to do them, and the day will come when you will be able to do the things you want to when you want do them!” And, “Learn to live a few years of your life like most people won’t, so that you can spend the rest of your life like most people can’t.”

Mile Marker #9 – Focus on Inward Change

“You are the only one who can use your ability. It is an awesome responsibility.”

If you have problems with other people, realize that “You’re not going to change anybody else, so focus on what you need to change within yourself.” People do what they want, whether you like it or not. Exerting your energy to try to force someone to do something they won’t or be something they aren’t is frustrating to both parties. With that said, people may choose to treat you differently when you behave differently. “When you choose to be pleasant and positive in the way you treat others, you have also chosen, in most cases, how you are going to be treated by others.”

Mile Marker #10 – Just start.

“People who won’t take step number one never take step number two.”

Sometimes beginning is the most difficult part of a task or project, especially when we get wrapped up thinking about all of the potential complexities and challenges. If you’ve been procrastinating on something important, commit to taking five minutes and completing the first step. You may be surprised how much more doable the project seems after you simply start it.

Mile Marker #11 – Character is everything.

“Honesty and integrity are absolutely essential for success in life – all areas of life.”

You must be a person of values. Always conduct yourself with honesty and integrity because that is the right thing to do morally — but it is also a good life practice. “If people like you, they’ll listen to you. But if they trust you they’ll do business with you.”

You might benefit in the short-term by deceiving and short-changing people. But it’s a losing game in the end. Realize “You can get everything money will buy without a lick of character. But you can’t get any of the things money won’t buy: happiness, joy, peace of mind, and winning relationships.”

As we come to the end of our lessons for today, even if it has been a difficult day, always remember that “Yesterday ended last night. Today is a brand-new day and it’s yours.”

How to Eliminate Excuses Forever

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In this Wisdom Note, let us consider that the way to ensure success in our daily trek is to make sure that we eliminate excuses because excuses stifle our results and make us less effective. So, it is time to head out onto the trail and look for the markers that will teach us to eliminate excuses forever. The markers are not hidden, but you do need to follow their instructions if you want to successfully navigate the trail of no more excuses.

During our past two Wisdom Notes, we explored the trails of specific types of excuses and presented some ideas on how to overcome the excuse obstacles on our path. On this week’s trail, we will study the markers that give us some general ideas, suggestions, and techniques we can use to eliminate all excuses forever.

As we study these trail markers, it’s important to understand that our excuses lead to stagnation and a life of regrets. Moreover, success in any field of endeavor requires a period of discomfort when we must venture into unfamiliar territories not knowing what to expect.

Trail Marker #1 – Avoid making comparisons.

Making comparisons between yourself and others will often make you feel disheartened if you are unable to live up to people’s standards and achievements. Instead, only compare yourself to your “best self.” No other comparisons are necessary. If through your highest efforts you surpass your personal best, then that’s good enough, at least until your next attempt.

Trail Marker #2 – Avoid dwelling on the past.

The moment we begin dwelling on past mistakes or failures is the moment, we begin experiencing the emotion of regret. Immediately we look to point the finger at someone or something else in order to justify our failures instead of taking responsibility for our decisions and actions. As a result, we begin rationalizing and making excuses for our failed attempts.

If you begin today by focusing on the present moment, rather than on the past, then you will begin to throw all your excuses out the door. Yes, by all means, learn from your mistakes and failures, but do not use them as a platform for your encyclopedia of excuses.

As the Apostle Paul wrote in his letter to the church Philippi Chapter 3 verses 13 and 14, “No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.”

Trail Marker # 3 – Begin by asking questions.

The moment you catch yourself making excuses immediately ask yourself the following set of questions:

  1. How badly do I really want this?
  2. Why don’t I have what I want?
  3. What excuses are getting in the way?

These questions will essentially help you to identify the gap between your current and desired reality. This likewise will help you get a better understanding of the circumstances that are holding you back from getting what you want most out of life.

The moment you identify these excuses, examine what you are lacking (as we did in the previous section), question the validity of your excuses, and take immediate action to fill these areas with everything required to keep moving you forward toward your goals and objectives.

Ask yourself:

  • Is this a genuine reason, or is it simply an excuse?
  • If this is an excuse, then what is it that I’m currently lacking?
  • What do I need specifically that will help me move beyond this excuse?
  • What’s the next step I need to take right now that will move me closer to my goals?

Trail Marker #4 – Focus on solutions and opportunities.

When making excuses we often focus on problems, regrets, and things that just didn’t work. Therefore, to eradicate excuses from our lives, we must instead begin focusing on solutions, opportunities, and the things that did work. It’s a simple shift, but if we keep this principle at the forefront of our minds when making excuses, it will immediately transform our perspective of the situation at hand.

Trail Marker #5 – Seek alternate perspectives.

Often the excuses we make are a result of a lack of perspective. We simply don’t have or know the bigger picture. It’s like looking through a keyhole. You will never see the entire room, but only a small section of that room.

Say, for instance, you looked through a keyhole and saw papers scattered all over a table. It would be easy to assume that the entire room is an absolute mess. However, you don’t have the full picture, do you? The rest of the room could be clean and spotless; however, your lack of perspective is preventing you from seeing the bigger picture.

Seek alternate perspectives by asking other people for their opinions, comments, and feedback. Get an understanding of how they see the situation before you commit to making excuses.

Trail Marker #6 – Accept full responsibility for failures and mistakes.

Excuses are often made because we simply don’t want to take responsibility for our shortcomings. When we take full responsibility for our failures and mistakes, we begin to gain confidence in ourselves and our own abilities. Moreover, we begin to feel empowered because life is no longer built upon luck or good fortune, but rather on our ability to successfully adapt to the changing conditions that life throws our way.

Trail Marker #7 – Learn from past experience.

Instead of making excuses, commit to learning from the experience in order to better yourself for the future.

Ask yourself:

  • What can I learn from this experience?
  • What has this experience taught me about myself, life, and others?
  • How can I use this experience to do better in the future?
  • What action could I take right now that would help me take a step in this direction?

Trail Marker #8 – Focus on your strengths.

When making excuses, we often focus on how inadequate and incapable we are. This limits our focus and brings to light all of our weaknesses. To counter this, we should instead focus on our strengths and how we can use them to make the best of every situation.

Trail Marker #9 – Cultivate four critical qualities.

Finally, to overcome your excuses, always cultivate patience, optimism, confidence, and persistence. And, if you must make excuses, then at least keep them private. Nobody likes people who can’t take responsibility for their decisions and actions. Sometimes we get so absorbed in making excuses about things that we forget to focus on making the best of every situation no matter what the outcome.

Now that we have studied the 9 trail markers that teach us how to eliminate excuses from our lives, we will explore Six Reflection Points for Life’s Transitions next.

The 11 Mountains of Excuses

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In this Wisdom Note, we want to examine the 11 most common excuses that we all use at times, and next we will learn how to overcome them. Our trail this week is a long one, so strap on your hiking boots and come along with me on a fast-paced trek over the 11 Mountains of Excuses.

Excuses come in many forms, and we tend to make them in many different ways. Even though they vary from person to person, there are certain excuses that we all tend to make at one time or another. On our trail this week, we will break down these excuses and discuss what they mean and how we can deal with them when they crop up in our lives.

Excuse Mountain #1: There’s not enough time.

This really means that you’re lacking passion, focus, discipline, and/or direction. Likewise, it suggests that your priorities are out of sorts and that you may be lacking the ability to manage your time effectively.

Alternatively, this excuse could indicate that you simply don’t value your time or just don’t want to take the time to do what you feel you must in order to achieve your desired outcomes. In fact, the causes for this excuse could very well be narrowed down to procrastination or even laziness.

Excuse Mountain #2: There’s not enough money.

This means that you don’t consider money to be a priority or you are simply looking for an easy way to make money and don’t have the desire, determination, persistence, or patience to work hard to achieve financial security.

This excuse also suggests that you could simply be lacking the strategies or ideas that could help you reach your financial objectives. Read a few books or get a mentor or a financial coach who can help you gain the necessary knowledge and understanding you need to succeed financially.

Excuse Mountain #3: I don’t have an education.

This excuse means that you lack creativity, inspiration, and desire. In addition, it would seem that you also lack a willingness to work hard and go the extra mile to put a little more effort into achieving your objectives — despite your lack of knowledge.

There are many multi-millionaires and billionaires who have nothing more than a high school education. Some don’t even have that. However, they were creative, had a desire, and were willing to work harder than anyone else to achieve their goals and objectives.

Excuse Mountain #4: I’m too old or young.

This excuse means you lack understanding, confidence, or perspective. Men and women of all ages have achieved great things. Therefore you are never too old or too young to attain your goals and objectives. It might be a little more difficult, which means that you may need to be more persistent, creative, and open to a greater array of experiences and opportunities. Alternatively, your age could actually work to your advantage. It just depends on your perspective and your ability to think flexibly about your circumstances.

Excuse Mountain #5: I don’t know how.

This excuse means you lack belief and confidence in your own abilities. It also means that you haven’t taken the time to practice, learn, or gain the experience or education necessary to “know what to do.”

This excuse is really very easy to combat. Simply learn how to do what you want to do by studying, reading books, gaining practical experience, asking for help, etc. Only by making mistakes over and over again will you eventually discover what works or doesn’t work for you.

Excuse Mountain #6: I can’t change.

This means you lack motivation and a reason to change. Moreover, this suggests that you lack emotional pain that would help you to accelerate change.

When it comes to our motives and desires, we are always pulled forward by the desire for pleasure or pushed forward by the desire to avoid pain. If you don’t believe you can change, you simply haven’t associated enough pain to NOT changing. Once you begin to look at all the dire consequences that will result from NOT making a change, then you will soon realize that the motivation was always there.

Excuse Mountain #7: I’m afraid to fail.

This excuse means you lack understanding, confidence, knowledge, and experience. Fear is nothing more than “False Evidence Appearing Real.” It’s our perspective of fear that frightens us and prevents us from moving forward. However, once we gain knowledge and understanding about the thing we fear, then that is the moment we build enough confidence to move forward and gain some experience. Subsequently, with enough “experience” under our belts, we develop even greater self-confidence that will propel us through our fears and toward the attainment of our goals and objectives.

Also consider that the trail to success is always strewn with obstacles, challenges, and problems. Along this path everyone makes mistakes. However, those who fail are those who simply give up and excuse their life away.

Excuse Mountain #8: It’s not the right time.

This excuse means you lack perspective, information, and resources. Sometimes it’s simply not the right time or season of life to take action. However, more often than not this is just a lame excuse that should indicate you lack perspective or you simply don’t have the necessary resources to deal with the circumstances at hand. Therefore, your first objective is to acquire the necessary resources to help you attain your desired outcome.

Excuse Mountain #9: I have to plan thoroughly first.

This excuse means you’re lacking perspective or you’re simply paralyzed by fear. There’s nothing wrong with planning for the future or taking the time to lay out a clear plan of action. However, if planning is all you do, then this indicates that there might be underlying fears that are preventing you from moving forward. Identify and overcome these fears, and subsequently, you will overcome your need for over-planning.

Excuse Mountain #10: It won’t work.

This excuse means you lack self-belief, motivation, creativity, patience, perspective, and persistence. All of these qualities are essential if you desire to eventually make things work. In fact, these qualities are absolutely essential for everything of value that you want to create in your life.

Excuse Mountain #11: I’m not inspired.

This excuse means you have poor habits that lead to a lack of discipline. Think about what kinds of habits you indulge in on a daily basis and about your typical routine throughout the day. More often than not you will find that inspiration isn’t a problem if you simply take the time to transform how you go about your day.

For instance, a lack of sleep could be causing you to feel tired, which leads to a lack of inspiration. If we dig a little deeper we could find that it’s your diet that’s causing your sleepless nights or that your lack of sleep is a result of not getting enough exercise throughout the week. Moreover, maybe you’re simply not getting enough exercise because you’re working longer hours than usual and, therefore, don’t have time to allocate for exercise.

This reminds me of excuses made that had an eternal consequence in a parable told by Christ explaining an invitation into His Kingdom in the analogy of a banquet in Luke 14:17-20, “When the banquet was ready, he sent his servant to tell the guests, ‘Come, the banquet is ready.’ But they all began making excuses. One said, ‘I have just bought a field and must inspect it. Please excuse me.’ Another said, ‘I have just bought five pairs of oxen, and I want to try them out. Please excuse me.’ Another said, ‘I just got married, so I can’t come.’”

Now that we have explored the 11 Mountains of Excuses and have trekked over them, next we will learn how to eliminate excuses forever.

The Reason We Make Excuses

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In today’s Wisdom Note, we will explore why we make excuses. So many people make excuses, but they are so difficult to see in ourselves. None of us particularly like accountability, but it is required to be a wise and mature person.

It is easy to fall into the habit of making excuses when our trek of life does not turn out as we desired. On our next three Wisdom Notes, we will examine in detail the subject of excuses. So, let’s put all our excuses aside and head out on the trail. One quote from a very wise man, Benjamin Franklin, reminds us, “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.”

Do you ever catch yourself making excuses when things don’t turn out as you had expected? Have you ever neglected taking responsibility for the events and circumstances of your life? Or have you ever tried to explain away why you didn’t, couldn’t, shouldn’t, or simply wouldn’t do something? These are all subtle signs that indicate you are living a life of excuses, which prevents you from living to your full potential. And, in Jesus’s words, your full potential is a rich and satisfying life.

1. What Are Excuses?

Excuses are rationalizations we make to ourselves about people, events, and circumstances. They are invented reasons we create to defend our behavior, to neglect taking a particular kind of action, or to simply negate responsibility. Excuses are in essence a means of placing the blame of an internal problem on an external condition.

2. Why Do We Make Excuses?

There are many reasons why people make excuses. In fact, everyone has different reasons for making them. However, when it boils down to it, all excuses are based on FEAR. We make excuses for the following main reasons:

  • Fear of failure
  • Fear of embarrassment
  • Fear of success
  • Fear of change
  • Fear of uncertainty
  • Fear of responsibility
  • Fear of making mistakes
  • Fear of lacking confidence or resources

To eliminate excuses from our lives, we must first look at eliminating all traces of fear.

We need to reduce and as much as possible eliminate all false fear in our lives for the Apostle Paul wrote in his 2nd letter to Timothy in Chapter 1 verse 7, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”

Fear traps and locks us away within our comfort zone, yet fear often develops as a result of a lack of:

  • Understanding
  • Information
  • Resources
  • Experience
  • Perspective

If you lack all these things, you will naturally lack confidence, and as a result, you will fail to take the action necessary to achieve your goals and objectives.

Consequently, you will tend to make excuses about your life and circumstances in order to help boost your self-esteem. However, all you’re doing is creating the illusion of security. You’re simply masking the pain by taking a “painkiller.” The pain is still there and will continue to persist until you finally overcome your fears.

3. What Are the Consequences of Making Excuses?

Living a life of excuses can have very serious and lasting consequences. Not only will excuses prevent you from reaching your full potential, but they will also hold you back from recognizing opportunities, talents, and skills you might have to help you overcome your problems.

If you don’t challenge yourself to reach new heights, you will never really know what you’re capable of. New opportunities lie hidden around every corner; however, you will never find them if you riddle your mind with constantly finding reasons to make excuses.

Making excuses can also lead to the following consequences:

  • Lack of responsibility and growth
  • Self-limiting beliefs
  • Massive regrets
  • Persistent pessimistic outlook on life
  • Bad judgments
  • Paranoia
  • Imaginary walls constricting comfort zone
  • Mental blocks stifling proactive action and creativity

These consequences certainly don’t lead to a rich and satisfying life. In fact, they paralyze us and prevent forward movement in all areas of our lives.

To overcome your excuses, you must first admit that you are making them. Sometimes this is difficult to do; however, it’s absolutely necessary and critical if you want to eliminate the resulting consequences.

Ask yourself:

  • What excuses do I tend to make?
  • What am I settling for?

Furthermore, you must identify the reasons for your excuses. Ask yourself:

  • Why am I making these excuses?

Finally, list the consequences that each of these excuses has on your life and circumstances by asking:

  • How do these excuses prevent me from moving forward?
  • How do they cripple my ability to get what I want?

We need to learn to scale to new heights on our trek each day, especially when we are overwhelmed and find ourselves making excuses instead of taking responsibility. As we grow in wisdom and insight, we can realize that to overcome excuses, we can rely on a power that is greater than we may have within ourselves. As King David wrote in Psalms 61:1-3,

“O God, listen to my cry!
Hear my prayer!
From the ends of the earth,
I cry to you for help
when my heart is overwhelmed.
Lead me to the towering rock of safety,
for you are my safe refuge,
a fortress where my enemies cannot reach me.”

Now that we have explored some of the core reasons we make excuses, in our next couple of notes, we will learn the type of excuses that we commonly make and discover how to eliminate excuses forever.