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Creating a Legacy ™

11 Life Changing Lessons

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In this Wisdom Note, let us consider this thought, “When we are hiking and in our daily lives, it is imperative that we enhance our power of observation. The more we increase our ability to observe, learn, and understand, the wiser we will become.”

In this note, we will expand on the trail of opportunity that we began last week and observe the 11 mile markers that will teach us some life-changing lessons. Once we have mastered these lessons, we will be able to more effectively impact the lives of others, which will allow us to create a living legacy that ripples through our world and through generations to come. I have gleaned these lessons from one of my virtual mentors Zig Ziglar, who has impacted millions throughout the world.

The trail will be a little longer this week, but it is a beautiful time of year to take our trek. Visualize in your mind as we meander down the trail, we are looking for the mile markers that should be along the path. We must use our keen sense of observation, otherwise we may miss the markers, which at times are hidden in the underbrush. In the same way, many important markers in our lives become hidden with all the stuff that we buy or the activities we do, and we miss very important lessons.

Finally, the first of 11 mile markers comes into view.

Mile-Marker #1 – First help others.

“You will get all you want in life, if you help enough other people get what they want.”

It’s possible to get ahead in life by taking advantage of other people. But it’s far better (and easier) to get ahead by understanding what people want and then helping them get it. Once you’ve gone out of your way to solve somebody’s problem, they’ll go out of their way to help you achieve your goals. The goal of every successful person is to help as many people as possible as much as possible. When you create something that’s of great value to many people, your life or business is assured of success.

Mile Marker #2 – Success is lived.

“Success is in the doing, not the getting; in the trying, not the triumph.”

Seeing success as an end goal is one of the biggest misconceptions of success. Success is actually an ongoing journey, more about enjoying the trail than the destination. According to Zig, the most rewarding part of becoming a successful person is the actual becoming. He said, “What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.”

Mile Marker #3 – Keep moving.

“Remember there is plenty of room at the top — but not enough to sit down.”

To be a difference maker in this world, you must continue moving forward until the very end. A strong work ethic is a key to success. “Get rich quick” schemes will never work. “The elevator to success is broken, but the stairs to success are always available.” Many people have negative associations with hard work. But just as climbing the stairs can be more satisfying than riding the elevator, the work of success doesn’t have to feel hard at all. Zig put it this way, “You don’t pay the price for success. You enjoy the price for success.” Proverbs 13:11 puts it this way, “Wealth from get-rich-quick schemes quickly disappears; wealth from hard work grows over time.”

Mile Marker #4 – Actually, you do have time.

“Lack of direction, not lack of time, is the problem. We all have twenty-four hour days.”

One excuse that I don’t have much patience for is “I don’t have enough time.” Every person that’s ever lived has had the same number of hours in a day, week, or year. The difference between people who achieve their ambitious goals and those who don’t is the ability to harness those hours purposefully and efficiently.

Next time you feel like you don’t have enough time to do what you want to do, think about somebody you admire who’s accomplished that and more. If they could find the time, then so can you. Learn to use your time wisely. As Zig said, “You can earn more money, but when time is spent it’s gone forever.”

Mile Marker #5 – Make motivation a habit.

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily.”

Self-motivation needs to be part of your daily routine. No person or external force can motivate you. It must come from within. Learn and practice daily habits that will motivate you.

Mile Marker #6 – Find good everywhere.

“The healthiest of all human emotions is gratitude.”

Zig has always emphasized the importance of your attitude (“Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.”) And, he’s called gratitude “the most important and by far the most life-changing attitude.”

No matter how bad you think your situation is, you can still be thankful for what you have – whether that’s your health, your family, or simply the fact that you’re alive on this amazing planet. Appreciating what you have can help set in motion events that will give you more to be thankful for…“The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more you will have to express gratitude for.”

You can learn to love just about any situation in life if you remind yourself every morning and every night of everything that you do like about that situation, even small things.

Mile Marker #7 – Over-deliver.

“When we do more than we are paid to do, eventually we will be paid more for what we do.”

This is a principle that will eventually pay rewards. “Over-deliver in all you do, and soon you will be rewarded for the extra effort.”

Mile Marker #8 – Delay gratification.

With fast-food restaurants on every corner and high-speed Internet in the palm of our hands, we live in a world of instant gratification. But instant gratification disappears as quickly as it comes, and it often does little to advance your long-term goals. “The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want right now.” If you always succumb to immediate desires, then you’re always going to be living from one fleeting pleasure to the next. Instead, take action in the present based on what you want most in the long-term.

“Discipline yourself to do the things you need to do when you need to do them, and the day will come when you will be able to do the things you want to when you want do them!” And, “Learn to live a few years of your life like most people won’t, so that you can spend the rest of your life like most people can’t.”

Mile Marker #9 – Focus on Inward Change

“You are the only one who can use your ability. It is an awesome responsibility.”

If you have problems with other people, realize that “You’re not going to change anybody else, so focus on what you need to change within yourself.” People do what they want, whether you like it or not. Exerting your energy to try to force someone to do something they won’t or be something they aren’t is frustrating to both parties. With that said, people may choose to treat you differently when you behave differently. “When you choose to be pleasant and positive in the way you treat others, you have also chosen, in most cases, how you are going to be treated by others.”

Mile Marker #10 – Just start.

“People who won’t take step number one never take step number two.”

Sometimes beginning is the most difficult part of a task or project, especially when we get wrapped up thinking about all of the potential complexities and challenges. If you’ve been procrastinating on something important, commit to taking five minutes and completing the first step. You may be surprised how much more doable the project seems after you simply start it.

Mile Marker #11 – Character is everything.

“Honesty and integrity are absolutely essential for success in life – all areas of life.”

You must be a person of values. Always conduct yourself with honesty and integrity because that is the right thing to do morally — but it is also a good life practice. “If people like you, they’ll listen to you. But if they trust you they’ll do business with you.”

You might benefit in the short-term by deceiving and short-changing people. But it’s a losing game in the end. Realize “You can get everything money will buy without a lick of character. But you can’t get any of the things money won’t buy: happiness, joy, peace of mind, and winning relationships.”

As we come to the end of our lessons for today, even if it has been a difficult day, always remember that “Yesterday ended last night. Today is a brand-new day and it’s yours.”

7 Trails to Create Opportunities

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As we head out on our trek this week, we want to shift our mindset from looking for opportunities to creating opportunities. There may be a fine line here, but if you are looking for opportunities, you are assuming that they are already available. Creating opportunities requires that we assemble the puzzle pieces of our life in order to create the opportunities that we desire. As we create these opportunities, we want to look at the 7 trails that will make a significant impact on our world each day.

Come along with me and imagine that we pass by a beautiful clear lake nestled in the mountains, and it provides us a time to consider our ability to impact everyone that we meet, either in person or online. In order to create those opportunities we desire, we must be seekers and have an unquenchable hunger to be difference makers.

As I throw a huge rock into the lake, we see the ripples extending from it in ever-widening circles. In the same way, as we create opportunities, we will make an impact on our world that will send out never-ending ripples in our ever-widening circles of influence. This will allow us to “Be the change that you wish to see in the world,” as Mahatma Gandhi encouraged.

Honing your greatest talents and skills through your authentic message is the key to successful contributions as an opportunity creator, which will lead you to survive and thrive in the fast-changing world. By making new opportunities through these 7 trails that we are hiking this week, you have the capability of achieving immense accomplishments.

There is one caveat, though…To create real opportunities, you must focus on how others will also benefit from the opportunities that you create. None of us live in a vacuum. We must always be looking for ways to help others improve, and in doing so, we will also be creating positive opportunities for ourselves. As we explore these seven trails, I will first ask you a question, “What opportunities can we create together, and how can we accomplish this?”

1. Become an opportunity maker for others.

It is essential to become an opportunity maker for others first! Everything else will naturally flow and follow. Jesus said it this way in Luke 6:31, “Do to others as you would like them to do to you.”

2. Collaborate and provide support.

It is a true art to collaborate with people that act, think, and process information differently than we do! That is where the true magic takes place! The most beautifully sung songs are not when everyone is singing the same notes in unison but when each person is singing different notes in harmony. Paul wrote to the church in Romans 12:16, “Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!”

3. Connect with each other.

Truly and deeply connecting with another person is art. It can happen only when we are fully present, aware, and open, leaving any judgment aside. That is the moment when true greatness enters the room! Luke 6:37-38 puts it this way, “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven. Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.”

4. Express appreciation for others.

Appreciation is a simple yet profound concept that when only done genuinely can fully unfold. It will also allow others to appreciate you and all of your efforts more!

As Paul instructed Timothy in his second letter to him in Chapter 2 verse 24, “A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people.”

5. Share your story and connect with others.

The power of storytelling and sharing will not only assist you in connecting with others but create the safe space for others to share their stories and deep desires and passions. This sharing allows opportunity-making to grow at the speed of light. Jesus was a master storyteller such as this example in Mark 4:1-3, “Once again Jesus began teaching by the lakeshore. A very large crowd soon gathered around him, so he got into a boat. Then he sat in the boat while all the people remained on the shore. He taught them by telling many stories in the form of parables, such as this one: ‘Listen! A farmer went out to plant some seed.'”

6. Share your best thoughts and talents.

What are your best strengths and talents? This is an excellent starting point to discover and then hone those strengths and talents even further so that each one of us is fully ready to significantly contribute. In Paul’s letter to the church in Corinth, he describes the gifts that are given to each of us in Chapter 12 verse 7, “A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other.”

7. Think big ideas and concepts.

The world is indeed very hungry for people with big ideas, innovative minds, and new concepts that can make differences now! It is so powerful to observe the energy and synergy of a group of people in action while sharing their common interests and unique perspectives and opportunities. Paul in his letter to the church in Ephesus described it in this way in Chapter 3 verses 14 through 16, “When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit.”

As we have briefly explored these 7 trails on how to create opportunities in our lives and the lives of others, let us journey on and create a legacy – a legacy that matters! Be a legend in your legendary way.

Six Reflection Points for Life’s Transitions

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As we head out on this trek, we soon come to a split on the trail and find it difficult knowing which would be the best path to take. One leads upward through sparse growth but probably leads to a beautiful view at the summit. The other trail leads us downward into the valley where there is lush growth and a river flowing through it. Which trail to take?

These are the decisions that we must make in life. Most of the time our decisions will not be choices of a good trail over a bad trail, but which path to take when both seem equally attractive in their own way. When we come to a split in the trails of life or such transition points, how do we make the most of the decision that we do choose?

Major life transitions – moving to a new city, becoming a parent, deciding when to retire – can be an exciting and invigorating part of life if we view it in that manner. Yet transitions, even happy ones, can also be stressful and bring up mixed feelings. For most of us, change brings uncertainty and a certain measure of fear. This is natural, but we cannot allow fear to prevent us from moving forward.

Moving from a rural community or farm into a big city with its excitement and challenges can be a bit overwhelming. The first few weeks after the move is usually much more difficult than anticipated. Similarly, no matter how exciting getting pregnant and having a child is, the magnitude of this life transition can be mind boggling. Although I don’t plan on retiring any time soon, even the thought of not working the majority of my time makes me realize what a transition that will be for me when it arrives.

The best way to prepare for major transitions is to take some time for self-reflection. Use the following trail guide for six ways to help you embrace change and make the most of your new life trail.

1. Recognize that transitions are hard because they can shake your sense of identity.

We naturally define ourselves in part by our surroundings. When these surroundings change, it can be disorienting. Getting married changes your identity from a single person to a partner. Having a child changes your sense of identity from wife or daughter to now being a mother also. A new job changes your identity or role at work.

For example, it is exciting to get a promotion at work, but the new position has more responsibility. You may like this, but as a manager, you no longer have the peer team with whom you were previously working. This can lead to feeling overwhelmed. You may worry, “Am I really equipped for this job? Maybe I was better off before.”

It will take some time for you to rebuild your sense of identity in your new role. As you become more comfortable in your new duties and with new colleagues, your work identity will be reestablished.

2. Being in transition is a wonderful opportunity for growth.

Take a look at the parts of yourself and your life that you most value and consider how you can bring those parts of yourself into your new role. Next, look at the areas of yourself that you’d like to make changes to. Perhaps you’ve been neglectful of some important area of your life, such as your body, mind, or soul. Transitions are an opportunity to begin practicing new habits and ways of interacting with yourself and others. Enjoy the transition for growth, even when it seems a bit painful.

3. Remind yourself why you chose to make the change.

As you start onto a new trail in life and are feeling a little lost during the transition, it can be easy to regret your decision. Why didn’t I just stay on the trail I was comfortable with? When doubt creeps in, and it will, review the reasons you made your decision…I made this career change to further my skills and better utilize my abilities. When you see the big picture, it helps you move from feeling overwhelmed to understanding that this is a temporary adjustment, and while it’s difficult now, you are willing to go through some uncertainty and discomfort for the long-term gain.

4. Recall other times in your life when you’ve successfully dealt with transitions.

This is not the first new trail that you are on. What helped you get through another period of transition in your life? Looking back, how do you feel about the past decisions you’ve made? What were you proud of, and what would you have done differently? Reflecting on your past can help you make good and better decisions as you move forward.

5. When you’re in transition, it’s easy to become overly focused on yourself.

It is all too easy to become consumed with ourselves. One way to shift your focus is to look at others who may need your help. If you’re at work, it may be a coworker who you notice is having a bad day. If you’re in an exercise class, reach out to another person that seems like he is having a hard time. Making an effort to support others helps you remember that everyone struggles at times and that human connection can be a powerful aid in helping get through it.

As Paul’s letter to the church in Philippi mentioned in Chapter 2 verses 3 & 4, “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”

6. Part of what helps you feel secure in transition is having a support system.

Make an effort to stay connected. Keep in touch with your family, call up a friend who lives in the area you just moved to, volunteer or get involved in an organization, or ask a new coworker to join you for lunch. Find people who you can really talk to. Whether it’s a trusted friend or close family member, being able to share how you’re really feeling can be a tremendous source of strength for you.

As the writer of Hebrews put it in Chapter 1 verse 25, “And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.”

Now that we have explored the six reflection points of life, next we will explore the Trail of Opportunity.

How to Eliminate Excuses Forever

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In this Wisdom Note, let us consider that the way to ensure success in our daily trek is to make sure that we eliminate excuses because excuses stifle our results and make us less effective. So, it is time to head out onto the trail and look for the markers that will teach us to eliminate excuses forever. The markers are not hidden, but you do need to follow their instructions if you want to successfully navigate the trail of no more excuses.

During our past two Wisdom Notes, we explored the trails of specific types of excuses and presented some ideas on how to overcome the excuse obstacles on our path. On this week’s trail, we will study the markers that give us some general ideas, suggestions, and techniques we can use to eliminate all excuses forever.

As we study these trail markers, it’s important to understand that our excuses lead to stagnation and a life of regrets. Moreover, success in any field of endeavor requires a period of discomfort when we must venture into unfamiliar territories not knowing what to expect.

Trail Marker #1 – Avoid making comparisons.

Making comparisons between yourself and others will often make you feel disheartened if you are unable to live up to people’s standards and achievements. Instead, only compare yourself to your “best self.” No other comparisons are necessary. If through your highest efforts you surpass your personal best, then that’s good enough, at least until your next attempt.

Trail Marker #2 – Avoid dwelling on the past.

The moment we begin dwelling on past mistakes or failures is the moment, we begin experiencing the emotion of regret. Immediately we look to point the finger at someone or something else in order to justify our failures instead of taking responsibility for our decisions and actions. As a result, we begin rationalizing and making excuses for our failed attempts.

If you begin today by focusing on the present moment, rather than on the past, then you will begin to throw all your excuses out the door. Yes, by all means, learn from your mistakes and failures, but do not use them as a platform for your encyclopedia of excuses.

As the Apostle Paul wrote in his letter to the church Philippi Chapter 3 verses 13 and 14, “No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.”

Trail Marker # 3 – Begin by asking questions.

The moment you catch yourself making excuses immediately ask yourself the following set of questions:

  1. How badly do I really want this?
  2. Why don’t I have what I want?
  3. What excuses are getting in the way?

These questions will essentially help you to identify the gap between your current and desired reality. This likewise will help you get a better understanding of the circumstances that are holding you back from getting what you want most out of life.

The moment you identify these excuses, examine what you are lacking (as we did in the previous section), question the validity of your excuses, and take immediate action to fill these areas with everything required to keep moving you forward toward your goals and objectives.

Ask yourself:

  • Is this a genuine reason, or is it simply an excuse?
  • If this is an excuse, then what is it that I’m currently lacking?
  • What do I need specifically that will help me move beyond this excuse?
  • What’s the next step I need to take right now that will move me closer to my goals?

Trail Marker #4 – Focus on solutions and opportunities.

When making excuses we often focus on problems, regrets, and things that just didn’t work. Therefore, to eradicate excuses from our lives, we must instead begin focusing on solutions, opportunities, and the things that did work. It’s a simple shift, but if we keep this principle at the forefront of our minds when making excuses, it will immediately transform our perspective of the situation at hand.

Trail Marker #5 – Seek alternate perspectives.

Often the excuses we make are a result of a lack of perspective. We simply don’t have or know the bigger picture. It’s like looking through a keyhole. You will never see the entire room, but only a small section of that room.

Say, for instance, you looked through a keyhole and saw papers scattered all over a table. It would be easy to assume that the entire room is an absolute mess. However, you don’t have the full picture, do you? The rest of the room could be clean and spotless; however, your lack of perspective is preventing you from seeing the bigger picture.

Seek alternate perspectives by asking other people for their opinions, comments, and feedback. Get an understanding of how they see the situation before you commit to making excuses.

Trail Marker #6 – Accept full responsibility for failures and mistakes.

Excuses are often made because we simply don’t want to take responsibility for our shortcomings. When we take full responsibility for our failures and mistakes, we begin to gain confidence in ourselves and our own abilities. Moreover, we begin to feel empowered because life is no longer built upon luck or good fortune, but rather on our ability to successfully adapt to the changing conditions that life throws our way.

Trail Marker #7 – Learn from past experience.

Instead of making excuses, commit to learning from the experience in order to better yourself for the future.

Ask yourself:

  • What can I learn from this experience?
  • What has this experience taught me about myself, life, and others?
  • How can I use this experience to do better in the future?
  • What action could I take right now that would help me take a step in this direction?

Trail Marker #8 – Focus on your strengths.

When making excuses, we often focus on how inadequate and incapable we are. This limits our focus and brings to light all of our weaknesses. To counter this, we should instead focus on our strengths and how we can use them to make the best of every situation.

Trail Marker #9 – Cultivate four critical qualities.

Finally, to overcome your excuses, always cultivate patience, optimism, confidence, and persistence. And, if you must make excuses, then at least keep them private. Nobody likes people who can’t take responsibility for their decisions and actions. Sometimes we get so absorbed in making excuses about things that we forget to focus on making the best of every situation no matter what the outcome.

Now that we have studied the 9 trail markers that teach us how to eliminate excuses from our lives, we will explore Six Reflection Points for Life’s Transitions next.

The Reason We Make Excuses

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In today’s Wisdom Note, we will explore why we make excuses. So many people make excuses, but they are so difficult to see in ourselves. None of us particularly like accountability, but it is required to be a wise and mature person.

It is easy to fall into the habit of making excuses when our trek of life does not turn out as we desired. On our next three Wisdom Notes, we will examine in detail the subject of excuses. So, let’s put all our excuses aside and head out on the trail. One quote from a very wise man, Benjamin Franklin, reminds us, “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.”

Do you ever catch yourself making excuses when things don’t turn out as you had expected? Have you ever neglected taking responsibility for the events and circumstances of your life? Or have you ever tried to explain away why you didn’t, couldn’t, shouldn’t, or simply wouldn’t do something? These are all subtle signs that indicate you are living a life of excuses, which prevents you from living to your full potential. And, in Jesus’s words, your full potential is a rich and satisfying life.

1. What Are Excuses?

Excuses are rationalizations we make to ourselves about people, events, and circumstances. They are invented reasons we create to defend our behavior, to neglect taking a particular kind of action, or to simply negate responsibility. Excuses are in essence a means of placing the blame of an internal problem on an external condition.

2. Why Do We Make Excuses?

There are many reasons why people make excuses. In fact, everyone has different reasons for making them. However, when it boils down to it, all excuses are based on FEAR. We make excuses for the following main reasons:

  • Fear of failure
  • Fear of embarrassment
  • Fear of success
  • Fear of change
  • Fear of uncertainty
  • Fear of responsibility
  • Fear of making mistakes
  • Fear of lacking confidence or resources

To eliminate excuses from our lives, we must first look at eliminating all traces of fear.

We need to reduce and as much as possible eliminate all false fear in our lives for the Apostle Paul wrote in his 2nd letter to Timothy in Chapter 1 verse 7, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”

Fear traps and locks us away within our comfort zone, yet fear often develops as a result of a lack of:

  • Understanding
  • Information
  • Resources
  • Experience
  • Perspective

If you lack all these things, you will naturally lack confidence, and as a result, you will fail to take the action necessary to achieve your goals and objectives.

Consequently, you will tend to make excuses about your life and circumstances in order to help boost your self-esteem. However, all you’re doing is creating the illusion of security. You’re simply masking the pain by taking a “painkiller.” The pain is still there and will continue to persist until you finally overcome your fears.

3. What Are the Consequences of Making Excuses?

Living a life of excuses can have very serious and lasting consequences. Not only will excuses prevent you from reaching your full potential, but they will also hold you back from recognizing opportunities, talents, and skills you might have to help you overcome your problems.

If you don’t challenge yourself to reach new heights, you will never really know what you’re capable of. New opportunities lie hidden around every corner; however, you will never find them if you riddle your mind with constantly finding reasons to make excuses.

Making excuses can also lead to the following consequences:

  • Lack of responsibility and growth
  • Self-limiting beliefs
  • Massive regrets
  • Persistent pessimistic outlook on life
  • Bad judgments
  • Paranoia
  • Imaginary walls constricting comfort zone
  • Mental blocks stifling proactive action and creativity

These consequences certainly don’t lead to a rich and satisfying life. In fact, they paralyze us and prevent forward movement in all areas of our lives.

To overcome your excuses, you must first admit that you are making them. Sometimes this is difficult to do; however, it’s absolutely necessary and critical if you want to eliminate the resulting consequences.

Ask yourself:

  • What excuses do I tend to make?
  • What am I settling for?

Furthermore, you must identify the reasons for your excuses. Ask yourself:

  • Why am I making these excuses?

Finally, list the consequences that each of these excuses has on your life and circumstances by asking:

  • How do these excuses prevent me from moving forward?
  • How do they cripple my ability to get what I want?

We need to learn to scale to new heights on our trek each day, especially when we are overwhelmed and find ourselves making excuses instead of taking responsibility. As we grow in wisdom and insight, we can realize that to overcome excuses, we can rely on a power that is greater than we may have within ourselves. As King David wrote in Psalms 61:1-3,

“O God, listen to my cry!
Hear my prayer!
From the ends of the earth,
I cry to you for help
when my heart is overwhelmed.
Lead me to the towering rock of safety,
for you are my safe refuge,
a fortress where my enemies cannot reach me.”

Now that we have explored some of the core reasons we make excuses, in our next couple of notes, we will learn the type of excuses that we commonly make and discover how to eliminate excuses forever.