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The Power of Patience

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Within our Wisdom Notes, last week we explored popularity versus integrity. These bits of wisdom help us to live a rich and satisfying life while creating a living legacy. If you miss any of our Wisdom Notes please go to the blog to read past newsletters.

As I consider all of the tasks and projects that I would like to accomplish around the Big House, and with our clients in the next few months, I have to admit that I do become impatient waiting. Both monetary resources and time will impact achievement and hinder what I would like to accomplish. As I have matured and become wiser, I realize that there is no need to rush and that everything that needs to be accomplished will be in its own time. I take encouragement from the practical advice found in Ecclesiastes 3:11, “Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.”

So let’s head out this week we navigate a difficult trail and discover the…

Power of Patience

To quote an old proverb, “You can’t unring a bell.” Let me ask you this question, “Do you act on impulse and then, after the fact, do damage control or manage the crises? “There is no unringing of a bell.” When you consciously practice being patient, you will recognize the benefits immediately both for those whom you impact and for yourself. Patience does not always mean inaction. It shows your ability to make wise, well thought out decisions on a timely basis, especially when it involves dealing with others. You are always being watched for your actions and reactions in life. Patience is considered a virtue, but most people don’t feel that they have high moral standards and unwavering maturity required for patience. We need to understand that impatience can lead to poor behavior, anger, and intolerance, which are character traits that are not desirable. So, how do we learn the power and practice of patience? How can we manage our feelings and recognize our triggers that lead to impatience?

The Signs of Impatience

One of the greatest and most difficult skills that I have had to learn to develop is the power of patience. It has helped me personally and professionally more than any courses that I have ever taken.

The people that have had the most positive impact on our lives are patient people who took the time to explain concepts to teach us and care for us. The result of learning this important skill is that it can help you develop every relationship in your life both personal and professional.

All of us are leaders in some aspect of life. As a leader, you must be decisive but also show patience as necessary. You will need to know when to be patient and when to immediately take action. In both instances, how you behave is critical to the outcome.

We have all seen the signs of impatience. You can see it in someone’s eyes, their actions, and in what they say. There are also key triggers to create poor behavior in those who easily lose their patience. How do you know when you’re becoming impatient? You will probably experience one or more of the following symptoms: erratic breathing patterns, tension, restlessness, anger, irritability, anxiety, and nervousness. It is also evident because you become susceptible to making quick, knee-jerk, snap decisions that manifest in poor decision-making and poor results.

What is the purpose of building patience? It boils down to setting proper expectations for ourselves, which results in personal happiness. This includes peace of mind, better relationships, and more success. Well worth the effort, I’d say, but it does take effort. There is power in being patient as Proverbs 16:32 explains, “Better to be patient than powerful; better to have self-control than to conquer a city.” Also as Proverbs 25:15 states, “Patience can persuade a prince, and soft speech can break bones.”

How to Manage Impatience

Consider that while you are acting impatient, those around you see this. Is this the type of character trait that you desire to pass on as part of your living legacy each day? Those that you impact will learn this behavior from observing you, which is not beneficial to them.

When we sort out all of the excuses of why we are impatient, it all boils down to one factor. In a word, it is selfishness. We believe that our desires are more important than other people or situations. Patience should be manifested in all areas of life. Here are some beneficial examples of manifested patience:

1 Corinthians 13:4 – Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud.

Ephesians 4:2 – Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.

Hebrews 10:36 – Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.

Patience is also one of the attributes of a mature Christian life mentioned in Galatians 5:22-23. – But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

Are there ever reasons or situations where you should not be patient? Yes, there are, especially if someone is being harmed or there is a potential danger to life or limb. However, how you “act” makes all of the difference when dealing with others. You should never lose your patience and get angry, abusive, pushy, or intolerant. I know this sounds easy in theory and is incredibly difficult in practice, but it can be done. We are driven by emotions, and at times impulsive, so we need to learn to practice patience. Patience is a learned skill, and only with practice can we develop skills to cope.

You need to realize and understand that you may never unravel why or how you feel about something. Be willing to acknowledge your triggers towards impatience. Understand the signs of impatience and develop ways to work through and manage them. Since you cannot change others, work on your behavior. Practice patience and it will result in making a positive impact and become part of the legacy that you are living each day. Remember, “You can’t unring a bell.”

On today’s trek, we learned just how powerful patience really is. When we are patient, we have a more effective and positive impact than when we are impatient. Patience should become an integral part of the legacy that we are living each day. As we hike our next trail, we will learn how to live your dreams. In addition to our weekly Wisdom Notes, encourage your friends and family to also join us on our daily podcast Wisdom-Trek, Creating a Legacy.

9 Signposts to New Beginnings

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In our previous Wisdom Note, we explored 9 ways to stay young. These bits of wisdom help us to live a rich and satisfying life while creating a living legacy. If you miss any of our Wisdom Notes please go to the blog to read past newsletters.

As we head out on our trek for this week, we need to recognize and understand that just as there are different seasons of the year, there are different seasons in our lives. Change is inevitable, and the more we are prepared for these changes, the easier they are to accept and adapt to. As it says in Ecclesiastes 3:1, “For everything, there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” On our trail today we will explore and examine…

9 Signpost to New Beginnings

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.

During certain seasons of life, we may choose or be forced to start a new beginning. When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over. There’s a big difference between giving up and starting over in the right direction. And, there are three little words that can release you from your past regrets and guide you forward to a positive new beginning.

Let’s look for the signpost with these words, “From now on…”

So, from now on…

1. Let the things you can’t control, GO.

Most things are only a part of your life because you keep thinking about them. Positive things happen in your life when you emotionally distance yourself from the negative things. So, stop holding on to what hurts, and make room for what feels right. Do not let what is out of your control interfere with all the things you can control.

2. Accept and embrace reality.

Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. For everything you lose, you gain something else; and for everything you gain, you lose something else. You don’t have to like it, but it’s just easier if you do. So, pay attention to your outlook on life. You can either regret or rejoice; it’s your choice.

3. Change your mind.

Change is like breath. It isn’t part of the process; it is the process. In reality, the only thing we can count on is change. And the first step toward positive change is to change your outlook. Prepare for the positive. Prepare for the new. Allow the unknown to take you to fresh and unforeseen areas in yourself. Growth is impossible without change. If you cannot change your mind, you cannot change anything in your life. Sometimes all you need to do is look at things from a different perspective.

4. Hold tight to the good things.

When life’s struggles knock you into a pit so deep you can’t see anything but darkness, don’t waste valuable energy trying to dig your way out. Because if you hastily dig in the dark, you’re likely to head in the wrong direction and only dig the pit deeper. Instead, use what energy you have to reach out and pull something good in with you. For goodness is bright; its radiance will show you which way is up and illuminate the correct path that will take you there. Romans 12:9 reminds us, “Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.”

5. Rest and regroup.

Strength isn’t about bearing a cross of grief or shame. Strength is about choosing your path, living with the consequences, and learning from them. Sometimes you do your best and end up with a mess. When this happens, don’t be discouraged. You tried. That’s really all you can ever do. You have not failed; you just learned what not to do. So rest, regroup, and begin again with what you now know.

6. Take chances.

Making a big life change or trying something new can be scary. But, do you know what’s even scarier? Regret. So, realize that most of your fears are much bigger in your mind than they are in reality; you’ll see this for yourself as soon as you face them. Don’t let them stop you. Live your life so that you never have to regret the chances you never took, the love you never let in, and the gifts you never gave out.

7. Keep climbing.

Every person who is at the top of the mountain did not fall there from the sky. Good things come to those who work for them. You gain confidence and grow stronger by every experience in which you truly push yourself to do something you didn’t think you could do. If you are standing in that place of in-between, unable or unwilling to go backward, but too afraid to move forward, remember that you can’t enjoy the view without being willing to climb.

8. Appreciate what you have learned.

Nothing is more beautiful and powerful than a smile that has struggled through the tears. Don’t regret your time, even the moments that were filled with hurt. Smile because you learned from it and gained the strength to rise above it. In the end, it’s not what you have been through that defines who you are; it’s how you got through it that has made you the person you are today and the person you are capable of being tomorrow.

9. Realize every step is necessary.

Nothing is ever wrong. We learn from every step we take. Whatever you did today was a necessary step to get to tomorrow, so be proud of yourself. Maybe you are not as good as you want to be or as great as you one day will be, but thanks to all the lessons you’ve learned along the way, you are so much better than you used to be.

On our trek today, we learned for every season that ends in our lives, a new season begins. We located the 9 “From now on…signposts” or lessons that we can learn from during these times of change and transition. As we hike our next trail, we will compare popularity and integrity and see if they are mutually exclusive. In addition to our weekly Wisdom Notes, encourage your friends and family to join us on our daily podcast Wisdom-Trek, Creating a Legacy.

9 Ways to Stay Young

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In our previous Wisdom Note, we explored 9 moments that bring happiness. These bits of wisdom help us to live a rich and satisfying life while creating a living legacy. If you miss any of our Wisdom Notes please go to the blog to read past newsletters.

Although I am in my 60s now, it is hard to believe, as I do not feel that I have lived that many years. With the advancement of medical care and the ability to stay fit and trim, many of us may be able to live another 60 or more years. If that is the case, I am barely middle age. There are certain practices that we can take advantage of that will help us to stay young much longer. There are certain habits or character traits that will help you to feel and stay young. On our trail today we will explore and examine…

9 Ways to Stay Young

Youth is wasted on the young—or at least, that’s what has been declared, but it would be a travesty if it were true. Youth is not only a time of life; it’s also a state of mind. Paula and I often speak about how we still feel that we are in our 30s. We do still consider ourselves young—and we intend to stay that way.

You can have a youthful outlook and attitude at an older age, or an old-fogey attitude at a young age. The choice is yours. Want to stay young at heart and mind? Here are a few ideas to help you:

1. Keep only cheerful, positive friends.

You can pick your friends, and I like to choose those who are positive and those who challenge me. They make me feel good. They don’t drag me down or make me angry at the world. Negative people see the difficulty in every opportunity while positive people see the opportunity in every difficulty. We need to be choosy of who we become close friends with or spend a lot of time with. 1 Corinthians 15:33 tells us, “Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.”

2. Keep learning.

I think Henry Ford put it best when he said, “Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at 20 or 80. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.” You should consider that you are a disciple all of your life. Never stop learning.

3. Enjoy the simple things.

Don’t forget to take the time to enjoy the things that you like to do—go for a walk or to the movies, read a good book, watch a favorite TV show, or spend time with your family. To stay young, you have to have a good balance in life.

4. Laugh often.

Starting your day with a good laugh, or, at least, a big smile, is as beneficial to your health as it is to your mood. Scientific studies have concluded that laughter benefits the heart, lungs, stomach, and other organs. It relaxes tension, changes attitude, and increases the body’s natural painkillers. Plus, it has no harmful side effects.

5. Stay in shape.

Exercise is good for your mind as well as your body. Studies show that healthy employees have decreased absenteeism, improved performance, and improved morale. I’ve always felt that a healthy life is a dynamic life.

The human body is the only machine that wears out faster if it is not used. Cherish your health. If you’re healthy, do what you can to preserve it. If your health is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

6. Be happy.

You are responsible for your own happiness. We sometimes convince ourselves that life will be better after we get a better job, make more money, get married, have a baby, or buy a bigger house. Yet the accomplishment of any of those events might not make any difference at all. If you are not happy with the stuff you have now, you will never be happy with more stuff. There is no magic secret to happiness, but it starts in your head.

7. Don’t stress out.

You can’t escape stress, but you can avoid creating unnecessary anxiety. You just need to find a stress reliever. Mine is running, working on renovating The Big House, and working on the lawn. If the stress just doesn’t go away, then you have to make some changes in your life that might be more stressful in the short term but healthier in the long run. Philippians 4:6 tells us, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.”

8. Don’t take guilt trips.

I remember a story about the worry tree. At night, an accountant would go home from work and place all his worries on a tree in his front yard. The next morning he would pick up those worries on his way to work, but surprisingly, they weren’t as heavy the next day. Taking trips can be enjoyable, but stay off the guilt trips.

9. Visualize yourself as youthful and with endless energy.

I learned years ago that visualization through life planning is the most powerful means of attaining personal goals. Visionaries can achieve whatever they want by determining a plan to attain it and expecting positive results. Visualization doesn’t do the planning, and it doesn’t anticipate the obstacles. But, it gives you a real idea of what is possible, if you want it bad enough. Vision is not so much what you think as how you think. If you can visualize it, you can make it happen. If you have a vision to build a house, you must take care of the preliminary requirements before beginning as it tells us in Proverbs 24:27, “Do your planning and prepare your fields before building your house.”

Harvey MacKay put it into perspective, “If you want to stay youthful, stay useful.”

Along our trek today, we learned the 9 ways that will help you stay young. As we hike our next trail, we will search for the 9 signposts to turn endings into new beginnings. In addition to our Wisdom Notes, encourage your friends and family to also join us on our daily podcast for another day of our Wisdom-Trek, Creating a Legacy.

9 Moments of Daily Happiness

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In our previous Wisdom Note, we explored how wise it is to cherish the times of silence, either while being alone or with others. These bits of wisdom help us to live rich and satisfying lives while creating a living legacy. If you miss any of our Wisdom Notes please visit the blog to read past notes.

I have found that many people in life are not happy. Some of this is due to looking for happiness in wrong or inappropriate places. Happiness is based on how we choose to view or accept situations in life that come our way. Success and happiness aren’t easy to achieve. It takes a lot of time, hard work, and choosing the right attitude to get there. That’s why, along the way, you’ve got to take advantage of moments—those brief periods of time each day when all can be right in your world. As I have said several times, “Happiness is a journey, not a destination.” Throughout our daily trek of life, here are nine moments worth experiencing every day.

1. A Moment of Laughter

William James said, “We don’t laugh because we’re happy—we’re happy because we laugh.” There’s physiological evidence that shows that laughing puts you in a better mood. Take time every day to laugh and you’ll find it’s both contagious and uplifting. Surround yourself with funny people, find opportunities to laugh at yourself, and laugh your way to success in any area of life.

2. A Moment of Celebration

This is how Tony Robbins puts it, “Say to yourself, here is an opportunity for you to celebrate like never before, my own power, my own ability to get myself to do whatever is necessary.” We don’t take the time to celebrate small successes—or even big successes—enough. At the end of every day take at least one moment per day to celebrate the good in your life. Even if they are in small situations.

3. A Moment of Reflection

Marcus Tullius Cicero said, “It is not by muscle, speed, or physical dexterity that great things are achieved, but by reflection, the force of character, and judgment.” We all lead such busy lives. It’s important to be able to take at least one moment each day where we do nothing but think. Put your phone away, get somewhere by yourself, and simply reflect on the day. Take the good from those reflections and determine how they can be applied to decisions in the future.

4. A Moment of Stillness

Yesterday we invested our time on how it is wise to be silent at times. Morgan Freeman put it this way, “Learning how to be still, to really be still and let life happen —that stillness becomes a radiance.” There’s reflection, and then there’s true stillness —the ability to shut off everything, including your mind, and get into a meditative state. The busier your life is, the more valuable it is to practice moments of stillness. Prayer, yoga, and meditation are the most popular ways to get into a state of stillness if only for a moment. Stillness brings us in touch with God as it says in Psalms 46:10, “Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world.”

5. A Moment of Pride

A lot of people associate the word “pride” with something negative. But you have so much to be proud of. God made you special; you are completely unique. King David wrote in Psalms 139:14, “Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.” You can afford to take a least one moment each day where you sit back and appreciate all that you have done and the good person that you were able to bring into the world. Take pride in the little things you’ve accomplished in the last day. Michael Crichton says, “All your life, other people will try to take your accomplishments away from you. Don’t you take it away from yourself.”

6. A Moment of Humility

Pride in your accomplishments is great, but so is a moment of humility in which you appreciate your tiny role in the profoundly large universe around you. When we take a moment to appreciate the amazing world around us, it’s hard not to be happy for all that we have. The popular quote by C.S. Lewis sums it up, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less.”

7. A Moment of Connection

Humans are made in God’s image, and we desire fellowship with each other just as God does with us. Take at least one moment a day to connect with the people around you—your spouse, friends, and family. Hold someone’s hand, give someone a hug, or cuddle with someone. Your happiness isn’t just about you; it’s about others. Dean Ornish said, “The need for connection and community is necessary, as fundamental as the need for air, water, and food.”

8. A Moment of Joy

Laughter is great but joy is even more powerful. Take a moment to experience the joy of your kids or family, the joy of your spiritual connections, or the joy you can find in play, music, dance, or work. Paul writes in his letter to the Philippians 4:4, “Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice!” Ralph Marston writes it this way, “If you so choose, each day can be filled with even more joy than the one before. If you so choose, even the most seemingly random events can work in your favor.”

9. A Moment of Gratitude

Finally, take a moment each day to express gratitude for what you have—for the people in your life, the experiences you’ve had and will have, and the world around you. You can’t physically feel angry or upset and grateful at the same time, so just taking a moment of gratitude will make you happier. Make a habit of writing down all that you are thankful for. Ephesians 5:20 says, “And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Along our trek, we stopped to ponder 9 moments that will bring us happiness each day if we take the time to consider them. Next we will hike on the trail and look for the 9 ways to stay young. In addition to our Wisdom Notes, encourage your friends and family to also join us on our daily podcast for another day of our Wisdom-Trek, Creating a Legacy.

The Wisdom of Silence

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In our previous Wisdom Note, we explored the difference between inheritance and legacy. Thank you so much for coming along with me each week as we explore and consume small “nuggets of wisdom.” These bits of wisdom help us to live a rich and satisfying life while creating a living legacy. If you miss any of our Wisdom Notes, please go to the blog to read past newsletters.

In this week’s note, we desire to ponder the wisdom of silence. With so much noise in today’s world, it is hard to deliberately invest part of each day in silence, and yet it is so needed. One of my favorite times of the day is when I walk into my office each morning, open the blinds, look out on our property with its large, mature trees that reach to the heavens, and thank God for another day. These few moments of silence help me to reset my mind for a new day.

Each of us needs to discover the art of learning to talk less and say more. Do you know who I really appreciate? Those people who aren’t uncomfortable with silence. Those people with whom you can sit at a table and have a delicious meal and not feel uncomfortable when none of you has anything to say. I love people who can communicate with one another not just with words but also with silence.

As we hike onward today, I will mix some quotes, proverbs, and some good practical “horse sense” about the treasure of silence. I am sure that you have experienced being with someone who just could not stand a moment of silence, so he or she filled every gap of silence with speaking even if it was not relevant. Some people are convinced that to be a good conversationalist there has to be a verbal conversation going on.

Life is a series of balances. Extremes on either end of the spectrum are usually not prudent. As a Swedish Proverb says, “Fear less, hope more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Hate less, love more; And all good things are yours.”

I am sure all of us have done the same where we have been in a situation when we have talked too much or have said something that was either inappropriate or irrelevant. There are times we just talk and talk without actually saying anything. Maybe it’s because we want to feel that we’re heard and that people acknowledge our presence and existence.

But, is that really the way to go about it? Wouldn’t it be wiser to talk less and say more while at the same time immersing ourselves in those moments of silence and allowing them to just be? Those individuals that habitually talk too much are usually a victim of a low self-image or a puffed-up ego, which are two sides of the same coin.

Plato described it this way, “Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.”

It seems to me that a lot of times we talk just so we won’t keep quiet, thinking that silence is something to be ashamed about, something to be avoided. But, it’s not. There’s nothing wrong with silence. I don’t know how we got this idea that silence is awkward and that it should be avoided at all costs. In fact, two verses that I enjoy from the book of Proverbs address this issue bluntly. Consider these verses the next time you are ready to open your mouth:

The first one is, Proverbs 17:28, “Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent.”

The next one Proverbs 10:19, “Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.”

These two verses should give us pause when we feel compelled to open our mouths and share our “wisdom.”

Silence is a precious gift. In that space between our words is where we find ourselves. When the mind is quiet, when there are no thoughts and no words to be said, we can hear our own heart talking to us. We can hear our own soul and our own intuition. These are the times that God can really communicate with us as Herman Melville explains exactly what I mean, “God’s one and only voice is silence.”

When we allow ourselves to be quiet, to breathe in and breathe out, without the need to force ourselves into saying another word or thinking another thought, that’s when we can hear God’s voice, our inner voice, our heart, and intuition. That’s when we can experience our spirit being united with God’s Spirit. This is where we are able to discover our own beauty and perfection that we are within God’s economy.

I have learned more from being quiet and from embracing silence than I have learned from thinking and from talking. Silence is my greatest teacher, whispering things in my ear and helping me know things that I won’t be able to discover from anywhere else. Francis Bacon said it this way, “Silence is the sleep that nourishes wisdom.”

The reason why so many of us are under so much stress is that we haven’t yet learned how to quiet our minds and embrace silence. We haven’t yet learned to appreciate and see the value and the wisdom that come from being quiet.

Who says that you have to be thinking and you have to be talking all the time? Who says that it’s not okay to have moments when you just don’t have anything to say? Who says that you should be talking nonstop even when you don’t have anything valuable to say?

The Roman poet Ausonius said, “He who does not know how to be silent will not know how to speak.”

Learn to talk less, but say more. When you use your words, use them because they will brighten someone’s day and because they will teach and impact people with something valuable. Don’t just use words for the sake of using them. Use them because you have something to say.

Do you believe that we can only communicate by using words? Do you think silence is something to be avoided? When you are alone with someone, if there are moments when none of you has anything to say, does that silence make you feel uncomfortable?

Some of the most precious times that Paula and I have is the comfort that we can have being together and not saying anything. Knowing that our love for each other is always there, even when nothing is being said. Become comfortable with yourself.

As we continue on our Wisdom-Trek each day, take time to be silent and reflect on life. Remember that God spoke to Elijah in a gentle whisper. In our next Wisdom Note, we will look for the 9 moments of happiness. Encourage your friends and family to also join us on our daily podcast for another day of our Wisdom-Trek, Creating a Legacy.