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7 Steps to Destroy Bad Habits

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Within our previous Wisdom Note, we explored three steps to live your dreams. These bits of wisdom help us to live a rich and satisfying life while creating a living legacy. If you miss any of our Wisdom Notes please go to the blog to find previous installments.

As we think about habits, I think we all understand that habits can be good or bad. In order to make room for good habits in our lives, we do need to rid ourselves of the bad habits, so let’ head out for today as we hike our own trail and discover the…

7 Steps to Destroy Bad Habits

Is it simple to destroy bad habits? Certainly not, sometimes it is very hard—but it’s far from impossible if you follow the right action plan.

Okay, let’s admit it, everybody has bad habits. Everybody! Now granted, some people have less than others and some people’s bad habits are more grating than those of others, but we all have them.

What is great is that we don’t have to continue these habits. We’re all capable of change, so as Captain Picard of Star Trek would say, “Make it so.”

There are two kinds of bad habits: (1.) The ones you know you have but others may not notice and (2.) those you don’t know you have but everybody else is keenly aware of.

How do you get rid of a bad habit if you don’t know you have it? The answer is simple but hard…Ask somebody to be brutally honest with you. You might be afraid of being embarrassed, but would you rather everyone talk behind your back? Get up the courage and ask. Ask somebody who loves you and has your best interest in mind. Be gracious and don’t defend yourself. Just accept it and work on it.

What about the ones we know about? Those are the tough ones. Why? They must be tough if you know about them and yet you still have them. If they weren’t tough, they would be former bad habits.

How do you boot a bad habit out of your life? How can you destroy it and have victory over those bad habits? Here are 7 steps that must be a part of the plan:

1. You have to want them to go.

In truth, some people actually want their bad habits to stick around. So, the first thing is to go deep into the recesses of your heart and ask, “Do I really want to give this up?”

You do? Good. Then on to the next step…if not, reading this probably won’t help.

2. Make up a list of all of the reasons you want to quit your bad habits.

Make them positive. Make the list long. Start with the really powerful and dramatic if you need to. Now, memorize the reasons. Put them in your mind.

You are making connections between stopping the bad behavior with what good things you will get from doing so. If you want to lose weight, then picture yourself slim with a lot more energy. If you want to stop smoking, picture your spouse actually kissing you rather than sending you to the bathroom to brush your teeth.

3. Choose to change.

Once you have the information, this comes down to one thing: an act of the will. Choose to destroy those habits that you have identified as bad. Say to yourself throughout the day, I am choosing to destroy ________ habit. Eisenhower rightly said, “The history of free men is written not by chance but by choice, their choice.” Your decision to destroy bad habits is your choice. You can write your own history.

4. Take action.

This is tricky because there are two philosophies about it. One theory is that you must take massive action—you must go all or nothing. Using the weight loss example, this person would go spend $500 to join a gym, rework their schedule, and hit the treadmill every day for a year. They will get rid of all the fat in the house. They go all out, and that works for some.

Others would burn out on that, feel like failures, and be worse off than before. They should start out slow, taking baby steps but working diligently toward a planned goal. This person would decide to start walking three days a week. They would decide to limit dessert to two nights a week instead of seven.

Either way is okay as long as you get to the goal eventually. Which one are you?

5. Tell somebody.

This is your accountability partner. Tell them your goal and tell them your plan. Write it down for them, and have them ask you at regular intervals about your progress. This will prove invaluable.

6. Recover from failure.

Inevitably most people will have setbacks. The key is to have them be setbacks and not turnbacks. Pick yourself up and get going again. Some people may want to lose 30 pounds and after losing 15, they eat a gallon of ice cream. Then they feel bad and give up. Don’t stop now! Reset your goal for another two weeks, and get going again. Chalk it up to experience! Say to yourself, “Sometimes you win, and sometimes you learn.”

7. Reward yourself.

You should regularly congratulate yourself by rewarding yourself with a gift. Start small with small victories and plan a big one when you are finally and for sure over the habit.

Bad habits are those undesirable actions that we continue to repeat. Let us not be foolish by continuing in those habits that are undesirable and harmful, or we will end up like what is described in Proverbs 26:11, “As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness.”

Is it that simple? Most of the time, no. Habits are hard to break. Your “why” for destroying that habit must be larger than your desire to keep it. There are so many intangibles that it would be hard to cover them all. But, this is a simple and workable plan that will help you make great strides if you just apply the principles.

Along our trek for this week, we have navigated the seven steps to destroy bad habits. As we hike our trail next week, we will explore the 6 essentials for a satisfying life. In addition to our weekly Wisdom Notes, encourage your friends and family to also join us on our daily podcast – Wisdom-Trek, Creating a Legacy.

3 Steps to Live Your Dreams

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In our previous Wisdom Note, we explored the power of patience. These bits of wisdom help us to live a rich and satisfying life while creating a living legacy. If you miss any of our Wisdom Notes please go to the blog to read past newsletters.

The days seem to slip by so quickly it is almost like grasping water or embracing the wind. You can see the results and feel the impact, but it is almost impossible to control the flow. That is why it is so important to enjoy each day for what it is and to live your dreams each day. We should not wait for some magical moment in the future because when tomorrow arrives it is already today.

We also need to stop comparing ourselves to others. You are uniquely you, and your circumstances are different. Comparison will eventually lead to despair because there is always someone who appears to be better in any area of comparison…which is usually just our perception and not reality. To live your dreams, you only need to compare yourself to where you were yesterday and what is your God-given ability and purpose for your life. Remember that you are creating and living your legacy each day.

So let’s head out for this week as we hike our own trail and discover the 3 steps of how to…

Live Your Dreams

As we traverse our path this week and have the opportunity to observe others, we can learn from others and allow others to assist us without comparing their lives to ours. Stop looking at other people who seem to live “the good life” and live your own good life. Commit to your improvement, and let it be you.

Each day, people are living their dreams. Wealth is created. Families form and create tremendous relationships. Individuals get healthier day by day. Life-long learners grow intellectually and improve their lives daily. Let it be you!

The fact is, living the life of your dreams is possible. People prove that every day.

Have you ever looked at someone who has money and wished that it could be you? People think about getting wealthy all of the time, but only a small percentage actually does. But anyone actually can. Someone is going to start a business. Someone is going to make a great investment. Why not let it be you?

Someone is going to decide to improve their relationships. Someone is going to enjoy love with their family. Someone is going to schedule some meaningful time with their friends. Why not let it be you?

Someone is going to become a life-long learner. Someone is going to go back to school. Someone is going to set a goal to read a book each week for the next year. Why not let it be you?

Someone is going to make the decision to become healthy. Someone will run their first marathon. Someone will join an aerobics class. Someone will start eating better. Why not let it be you?

You get the point. Every day people are improving their lives. It is simply a matter of a decision being made. Let it be you! Make sure that you understand what your dreams are and why. Everything that we pursue has a price associated with it. For every decision we make, we are saying yes to one choice, which will automatically mean that we have to say no to other choices. In order to live your dreams, there is a process that must be followed. Drill down on the “why” of your dream, and it will soon be clear whether you are committed to it.

So how can you live your dreams? By following these very simple actions:

1. Commit to working on yourself.

Are you going to improve or stay the same? No matter what you have achieved, you are at a certain point right now. What you have achieved in the past is fine, but it doesn’t make a difference for the future. The decision about what you will become is made each day and every day. Each day someone is making the decision to better him or herself. Let it be you. Proverbs 23:12 tells us, “Commit yourself to instruction; listen carefully to words of knowledge.” So commit yourself to live your dreams.

2. Make a plan.

Once you have decided to become better in any area of life, you will need to have a plan. It doesn’t have to be a long, intricate plan. It can be simple. Save a dollar a day. Walk a mile a day. Read an article a day. That is a simple plan with achievable goals. Someone is going to develop a plan that will take them into the future of their dreams. Let it be you. God desires us to make plans that are congruent with our life purpose. Psalm 20:4 confirms this, “May he grant your heart’s desires and make all your plans succeed.”

3. Begin to act.

All of the great ideas, without action, become stale and useless. The key to turning dreams into reality is action. People who have great ideas are a dime a dozen. People who act on their dreams and ideas are the select few, but they are the ones who gain the wealth, health, and wisdom that is available. Someone will act today. Let it be you.

Stop comparing yourself to others who seem to live the good life, wishing that you were as well, and instead begin to commit to your improvement, develop a plan, and act on it. Someone is going to. Let it be you!

Paul writes in his letter to the Galatians 6:4, “Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else.”

Along our trek this week, we learned how important it is not to compare ourselves and our dreams to others. We need to commit, plan, and act so that we can live our dreams each day. As we hike our trail next week, we will learn “7 Steps That Detroy Bad Habits.” In addition to our weekly Wisdom Notes, encourage your friends and family to also join us on our daily podcast Wisdom-Trek, Creating a Legacy.

Popularity vs. Integrity

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In our previous Wisdom Note, we explored 9 signposts for new beginnings. These bits of wisdom help us to live a rich and satisfying life while creating a living legacy. If you miss any of our Wisdom Notes please go to the blog to read past newsletters.

As we head out on our trek for this week, It is very important that we have the utmost integrity in all of our interactions with everyone we meet. In a world of moral relativism and situational ethics where success and popularity are more important than keeping your word, it is important that we understand the difference between.

Popularity and Integrity

In the current polarized political climate in our country, the distinction between popularity and integrity is more important than ever. Although I do not like to generalize, most politicians and political candidates will say and do just about anything to persuade us to support them. The thinly veiled rhetoric leaves us confused as to what the truth really is. Most of the modern news outlets also contribute negatively to what actually is the truth. We should not get caught up in this same cycle in our own lives. The question to ask is, “Are popularity and success mutually exclusive with integrity?”

While it is difficult to see it in many areas of our current world, I would propose that true integrity is the very backbone of true popularity and success. If I could teach only one value to live by, it would be this…Popularity and success will come and go, but integrity is forever. Integrity means doing the right thing at all times and in all circumstances, whether or not anyone is watching. It takes having the courage to do the right thing, no matter what the consequences will be. Building a reputation of integrity takes years, but it takes only a second to lose. So, never allow yourself to ever do anything that would damage your integrity.

We live in a world where integrity isn’t talked about nearly enough. We live in a world where “the end justifies the means” has become an acceptable school of thought for far too many. Salespeople overpromise and under deliver, all in the name of making their quota for the month. Applicants exaggerate in job interviews because they desperately need a job. CEOs overstate their projected earnings because they don’t want the board of directors to replace them. Entrepreneurs overstate their financial strength because they want the highest valuation possible from an investor. Investors understate a company’s value to negotiate a lower valuation in a deal. Customer service representatives cover up a mistake they made because they are afraid the client will leave them. Employees call in “sick” because they don’t have any more paid time off when they actually just need to get their Christmas shopping done. The list could go on and on, and in each case, the person committing the act of dishonesty told themselves they had a perfectly valid reason why the end result justified their lack of integrity.

It may seem like people can gain popularity and power quickly and easily if they are willing to cut corners and act without the constraints of morality. Dishonesty may provide instant gratification at the moment, but it will never last. I can think of several examples of people without integrity who are successful and who win without ever getting caught, which creates a false perception of the path to success that you should follow. After all, each person in the examples above may have gained the result they wanted at the moment, but unfortunately, that momentary result comes at an incredibly high price with far-reaching consequences. That person has lost their ability to be trusted as a person of integrity, which is the most valuable quality anyone can have in life. Financial success, popularity, or power is temporary, but success and popularity among those that you have the greatest impact on are completely lost because of your lack of integrity. Proverbs 10:9, “People with integrity walk safely, but those who follow crooked paths will be exposed.”

If you retain your integrity at all costs, then every person who trusts you will spread the word of that trust to at least a few of their friends and associates, and word of your character will spread like wildfire. The value of the trust others have in you is far beyond anything that can be measured.

A word of advice to those who are striving for a reputation of integrity, even if a person appears to be popular and/or successful, avoid those who are not trustworthy. Do not associate with them. Do not make excuses for them. Do not allow yourself to get enticed into believing that “while they may be dishonest with others, they would never be dishonest with me.” If someone is dishonest in any aspect of life, you can be guaranteed that he will be dishonest in many aspects of his life. You cannot dismiss even those little acts of dishonesty. This is a clear indicator that they will be dishonest in any areas of life depending on the situation. That is called situational ethics.

It is important to realize that others pay attention to those you have chosen to associate with, and they will inevitably judge your character by the character of your friends. Why is that? It is best explained by a quote my mom would say when she was reminding me to be careful of the company I was keeping, “When you lie down with dogs, don’t be surprised when you wake up with fleas.”

Inevitably we become more and more like the people we surround ourselves with day-to-day. If we surround ourselves with people who are dishonest and willing to cut corners to get ahead, then we’ll surely find ourselves following a pattern of first overlooking their behavior, then accepting their behavior, and finally adopting their behavior. If you want to build a reputation as a person of integrity, then surround yourself with people of integrity.

If you desire to live and leave a lasting legacy, you must maintain your integrity above all else. Proverbs 20:7, “The godly walk with integrity; blessed are their children who follow them.” It could also be said that everyone you impact will receive the blessings of your integrity.

On our trek today, we compared popularity versus integrity and learned that integrity should be maintained, regardless of its cost in popularity and success. Our integrity should never be compromised if we desire to create and leave a lasting legacy and impact on our world. As we hike our next trail, we will learn the power of patience. In addition to our weekly Wisdom Notes, encourage your friends and family to also join us on our daily podcast Wisdom-Trek, Creating a Legacy.

The Power of Patience

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Within our Wisdom Notes, last week we explored popularity versus integrity. These bits of wisdom help us to live a rich and satisfying life while creating a living legacy. If you miss any of our Wisdom Notes please go to the blog to read past newsletters.

As I consider all of the tasks and projects that I would like to accomplish around the Big House, and with our clients in the next few months, I have to admit that I do become impatient waiting. Both monetary resources and time will impact achievement and hinder what I would like to accomplish. As I have matured and become wiser, I realize that there is no need to rush and that everything that needs to be accomplished will be in its own time. I take encouragement from the practical advice found in Ecclesiastes 3:11, “Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.”

So let’s head out this week we navigate a difficult trail and discover the…

Power of Patience

To quote an old proverb, “You can’t unring a bell.” Let me ask you this question, “Do you act on impulse and then, after the fact, do damage control or manage the crises? “There is no unringing of a bell.” When you consciously practice being patient, you will recognize the benefits immediately both for those whom you impact and for yourself. Patience does not always mean inaction. It shows your ability to make wise, well thought out decisions on a timely basis, especially when it involves dealing with others. You are always being watched for your actions and reactions in life. Patience is considered a virtue, but most people don’t feel that they have high moral standards and unwavering maturity required for patience. We need to understand that impatience can lead to poor behavior, anger, and intolerance, which are character traits that are not desirable. So, how do we learn the power and practice of patience? How can we manage our feelings and recognize our triggers that lead to impatience?

The Signs of Impatience

One of the greatest and most difficult skills that I have had to learn to develop is the power of patience. It has helped me personally and professionally more than any courses that I have ever taken.

The people that have had the most positive impact on our lives are patient people who took the time to explain concepts to teach us and care for us. The result of learning this important skill is that it can help you develop every relationship in your life both personal and professional.

All of us are leaders in some aspect of life. As a leader, you must be decisive but also show patience as necessary. You will need to know when to be patient and when to immediately take action. In both instances, how you behave is critical to the outcome.

We have all seen the signs of impatience. You can see it in someone’s eyes, their actions, and in what they say. There are also key triggers to create poor behavior in those who easily lose their patience. How do you know when you’re becoming impatient? You will probably experience one or more of the following symptoms: erratic breathing patterns, tension, restlessness, anger, irritability, anxiety, and nervousness. It is also evident because you become susceptible to making quick, knee-jerk, snap decisions that manifest in poor decision-making and poor results.

What is the purpose of building patience? It boils down to setting proper expectations for ourselves, which results in personal happiness. This includes peace of mind, better relationships, and more success. Well worth the effort, I’d say, but it does take effort. There is power in being patient as Proverbs 16:32 explains, “Better to be patient than powerful; better to have self-control than to conquer a city.” Also as Proverbs 25:15 states, “Patience can persuade a prince, and soft speech can break bones.”

How to Manage Impatience

Consider that while you are acting impatient, those around you see this. Is this the type of character trait that you desire to pass on as part of your living legacy each day? Those that you impact will learn this behavior from observing you, which is not beneficial to them.

When we sort out all of the excuses of why we are impatient, it all boils down to one factor. In a word, it is selfishness. We believe that our desires are more important than other people or situations. Patience should be manifested in all areas of life. Here are some beneficial examples of manifested patience:

1 Corinthians 13:4 – Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud.

Ephesians 4:2 – Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.

Hebrews 10:36 – Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.

Patience is also one of the attributes of a mature Christian life mentioned in Galatians 5:22-23. – But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

Are there ever reasons or situations where you should not be patient? Yes, there are, especially if someone is being harmed or there is a potential danger to life or limb. However, how you “act” makes all of the difference when dealing with others. You should never lose your patience and get angry, abusive, pushy, or intolerant. I know this sounds easy in theory and is incredibly difficult in practice, but it can be done. We are driven by emotions, and at times impulsive, so we need to learn to practice patience. Patience is a learned skill, and only with practice can we develop skills to cope.

You need to realize and understand that you may never unravel why or how you feel about something. Be willing to acknowledge your triggers towards impatience. Understand the signs of impatience and develop ways to work through and manage them. Since you cannot change others, work on your behavior. Practice patience and it will result in making a positive impact and become part of the legacy that you are living each day. Remember, “You can’t unring a bell.”

On today’s trek, we learned just how powerful patience really is. When we are patient, we have a more effective and positive impact than when we are impatient. Patience should become an integral part of the legacy that we are living each day. As we hike our next trail, we will learn how to live your dreams. In addition to our weekly Wisdom Notes, encourage your friends and family to also join us on our daily podcast Wisdom-Trek, Creating a Legacy.

9 Signposts to New Beginnings

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In our previous Wisdom Note, we explored 9 ways to stay young. These bits of wisdom help us to live a rich and satisfying life while creating a living legacy. If you miss any of our Wisdom Notes please go to the blog to read past newsletters.

As we head out on our trek for this week, we need to recognize and understand that just as there are different seasons of the year, there are different seasons in our lives. Change is inevitable, and the more we are prepared for these changes, the easier they are to accept and adapt to. As it says in Ecclesiastes 3:1, “For everything, there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” On our trail today we will explore and examine…

9 Signpost to New Beginnings

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.

During certain seasons of life, we may choose or be forced to start a new beginning. When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over. There’s a big difference between giving up and starting over in the right direction. And, there are three little words that can release you from your past regrets and guide you forward to a positive new beginning.

Let’s look for the signpost with these words, “From now on…”

So, from now on…

1. Let the things you can’t control, GO.

Most things are only a part of your life because you keep thinking about them. Positive things happen in your life when you emotionally distance yourself from the negative things. So, stop holding on to what hurts, and make room for what feels right. Do not let what is out of your control interfere with all the things you can control.

2. Accept and embrace reality.

Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. For everything you lose, you gain something else; and for everything you gain, you lose something else. You don’t have to like it, but it’s just easier if you do. So, pay attention to your outlook on life. You can either regret or rejoice; it’s your choice.

3. Change your mind.

Change is like breath. It isn’t part of the process; it is the process. In reality, the only thing we can count on is change. And the first step toward positive change is to change your outlook. Prepare for the positive. Prepare for the new. Allow the unknown to take you to fresh and unforeseen areas in yourself. Growth is impossible without change. If you cannot change your mind, you cannot change anything in your life. Sometimes all you need to do is look at things from a different perspective.

4. Hold tight to the good things.

When life’s struggles knock you into a pit so deep you can’t see anything but darkness, don’t waste valuable energy trying to dig your way out. Because if you hastily dig in the dark, you’re likely to head in the wrong direction and only dig the pit deeper. Instead, use what energy you have to reach out and pull something good in with you. For goodness is bright; its radiance will show you which way is up and illuminate the correct path that will take you there. Romans 12:9 reminds us, “Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.”

5. Rest and regroup.

Strength isn’t about bearing a cross of grief or shame. Strength is about choosing your path, living with the consequences, and learning from them. Sometimes you do your best and end up with a mess. When this happens, don’t be discouraged. You tried. That’s really all you can ever do. You have not failed; you just learned what not to do. So rest, regroup, and begin again with what you now know.

6. Take chances.

Making a big life change or trying something new can be scary. But, do you know what’s even scarier? Regret. So, realize that most of your fears are much bigger in your mind than they are in reality; you’ll see this for yourself as soon as you face them. Don’t let them stop you. Live your life so that you never have to regret the chances you never took, the love you never let in, and the gifts you never gave out.

7. Keep climbing.

Every person who is at the top of the mountain did not fall there from the sky. Good things come to those who work for them. You gain confidence and grow stronger by every experience in which you truly push yourself to do something you didn’t think you could do. If you are standing in that place of in-between, unable or unwilling to go backward, but too afraid to move forward, remember that you can’t enjoy the view without being willing to climb.

8. Appreciate what you have learned.

Nothing is more beautiful and powerful than a smile that has struggled through the tears. Don’t regret your time, even the moments that were filled with hurt. Smile because you learned from it and gained the strength to rise above it. In the end, it’s not what you have been through that defines who you are; it’s how you got through it that has made you the person you are today and the person you are capable of being tomorrow.

9. Realize every step is necessary.

Nothing is ever wrong. We learn from every step we take. Whatever you did today was a necessary step to get to tomorrow, so be proud of yourself. Maybe you are not as good as you want to be or as great as you one day will be, but thanks to all the lessons you’ve learned along the way, you are so much better than you used to be.

On our trek today, we learned for every season that ends in our lives, a new season begins. We located the 9 “From now on…signposts” or lessons that we can learn from during these times of change and transition. As we hike our next trail, we will compare popularity and integrity and see if they are mutually exclusive. In addition to our weekly Wisdom Notes, encourage your friends and family to join us on our daily podcast Wisdom-Trek, Creating a Legacy.