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10 Signposts for Establishing Positive Habits

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In today’s Wisdom Note, we will study the 10 signposts along the trail that will help us to infuse positive habits into our lives. These habits will benefit us when we face the difficult and rough areas of life’s trails. As these habits are woven into the fabric of our lives, they will help us navigate the rough parts of the trail that we encounter with less difficulty and stress.

It’s tough to argue against the power of positive habits that come through consistent positive thinking. A multitude of studies, data, and anecdotal evidence support the notion that optimists experience less stress, possess stronger immune systems, and have overall better health than their “Debby Downer” counterparts. But it’s not always easy to look on the bright side. In our overbooked and over-connected lives, getting caught up in a cycle of worry, anxiety, and negative thoughts is a norm in many of our lives.

One of the many wonderful things about positive habits is that anyone can acquire positivity with the consistent and persistent practice of these habit traits, and a good sense of humor always helps.

As a start, we need to practice not taking ourselves too seriously. Most other people in our lives don’t either. It is certainly worthwhile to visit the 10 signposts for establishing positive habits each day. Take control over your thinking, your habits, and your own happiness with these.

1. Practice Gratitude

Remembering all the good things that you have makes it a whole lot easier not to focus on what you don’t have. Be thankful and appreciate the abundance in your life rather than dwelling on what feels lacking. Practicing gratitude is rule #1 for shifting your thinking from negative to positive.

Ephesians 5:20, “And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

2. Surround Yourself with Supportive People

Do all that you can to minimize your interaction with anyone who is a “Negative Nancy” or a “Negative Ned.” Creating an inner circle filled with support and encouragement is the next step. Having people around who see the best in you will help you see the best in yourself. Jesus had his own inner circle, even among the small group of the 12 apostles. Many times Jesus took Peter, James, and John alone with him. Two of the most memorable times were at His transfiguration in Matthew 17:1 and during His hours of anguish before his trial and crucifixion in Matthew 26:37.

3. Ditch the Drama

Separate from your toxic friends and associates. Say goodbye to those friends that always have drama in their lives and suck you into their manufactured issues and end up bringing you down. Minimizing negative energy in your environment is a prerequisite to overcoming negativity in your thinking.

4. Take Responsibility

The easiest way to fall into the negativity trap is by making yourself a victim. But on the flipside, to take responsibility for your own actions is to take charge of your own happiness. Remind yourself daily that although you may not be able to control what happens to you, you are always in charge of your reactions.

5. Success Comes in Cans, Not in Cannots

This one may take practice, but it really works. Change your sentence structure from negative to positive (from “Why do I always get the bad work assignments?” to “It might not have been what I hoped, but I know if I do good work then my next assignment will be better.”). How we view life is largely based on our perspective and perception. Make a concerted effort to see challenges as opportunities, and watch as doors open where there were none before.

6. Be Kind

Getting into the habit of being kind and forgiving to others will help you extend the same courtesy to yourself. And when you’re a friend to yourself, it’s a whole lot easier to forgive yourself for your mistakes and cultivate a positive outlook for your future. Being kind to everyone in every situation is one of the easiest ways to establish positive habits in your life.

Galatians 6:7, “Don’t be misled — you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant.”

7. Find The Silver Lining

Most events and situations aren’t inherently good or bad. We just project those descriptions onto them. This means that we have a great deal of power over how we choose to view whatever comes our way, deciding to focus on the positive is a powerful way to take charge in your life.

8. Slow Down

Daily yoga or exercise even if it is not very extensive or committing to 10 minutes of meditation or prayer before bed each night can go a long way in helping you slow down your mind so that you can observe and recognize your thought patterns. Even just taking a walk in nature or reminding yourself to breathe deeply can help reset your brain and clear out unnecessary worries.

9. Set Your Own Standards

To take charge and responsibility for your daily lives you must develop positive habits. Instead of worrying what other people think of you and trying to live up to their standards, decide for yourself who you want to be and what you want to accomplish. Taking responsibility for your own path will give you a boost of confidence and self-esteem that makes the future and the present seem brighter.

10. Remember to Laugh

Laughing at yourself, seeking out opportunities to play and enjoy humor, and making others laugh can go a long way in creating an optimistic mindset. Laughter relieves stress and reminds you not to take life so seriously. Upon the rebuilding of the walls of Jerusalem, Nehemiah encouraged the people of Israel in chapter 8:10, “And Nehemiah continued, ‘Go and celebrate with a feast of rich foods and sweet drinks, and share gifts of food with people who have nothing prepared. This is a sacred day before our Lord. Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!’”

Our trail today was packed with great nuggets of wisdom. Every day review these 10 signposts or habits for a positive life, and you will find that your life has indeed changed.

Affirmation Without Discipline Is Delusion

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There are many motivational speakers and coaches that promote using affirmations to keep us focused and motivated. While I am not against the concept of affirmations, affirmations by themselves will not affect any lasting change in your life. The problem is when you have an affirmation followed by no action, you are only deluding yourself. You must resolve to do something and then follow it up with action.

One of my virtual mentors is the late Jim Rohn is expressed it this way, “Affirmation without discipline is the beginning of delusion.” Jim Rohn’s also said, “Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.”

Once you have your affirmations for success and discipline yourself to take action, it is then you have just made the connection between dreaming and reality. Discipline takes you from wishing for success to achieving it. When you stay on life’s trek for a long period of time you can achieve any goal you set for yourself.

1. Action vs. Self-Delusion – What’s the Difference?

Knowledge fueled by emotion equals action. The action is the ingredient that ensures results. The principle is ‘for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction’. The key is there must be action taken. Only action can cause a reaction. Further, only positive action can cause a positive reaction.

Action

The whole world loves to watch those who make things happen, and it rewards them for causing waves of productive enterprise. I stress this because today I see many people who are really sold on affirmations, but don’t necessarily have the discipline to go along with the affirmation.

Let’s look at affirmations as our faith, and action as good deeds, which reminds me of the discourse Jesus’s half-brother James mentioned in his letter in James 2:18, “Now someone may argue, ‘Some people have faith; others have good deeds.’ But I say, ‘How can you show me your faith if you don’t have good deeds? I will show you my faith by my good deeds.’”

How true!

I have nothing against affirmations as a tool to create action. Repeated to reinforce a disciplined plan, affirmations can help create wonderful results. There is also a very thin line between faith and folly. You see, affirmations without action can be the beginnings of self-delusion. For your well-being, there is little worse than self-delusion.

The man who dreams of wealth and yet walks daily toward certain financial disaster and the woman who wishes for happiness and yet thinks thoughts and commits acts that lead her toward certain despair are both victims of the false hope which affirmations without action can manufacture. Why? Because words soothe and, like a narcotic, they lull us into a state of complacency. Remember this, “To make progress you must actually get started!”

This reminds me of another passage in James 1:22-24, “But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like.”

The key is to take a step today. Whatever the project, start today. Start clearing out a drawer of your newly organized desk today. Start setting your first goal today. Start listening to motivational programs today. Start a sensible weight-reduction plan today. Start calling on one tough customer a day today. Start putting money in your new “investment for fortune” account today. Write a long-overdue letter or email today. Anyone can! Even an uninspired person can start reading inspiring books.

Get some momentum going on your new commitment to a rich and satisfying life. See how many activities you can pile on your new commitment to the better life. Go all out! Break away from the downward pull of gravity. Start your thrusters going. Prove to yourself that the waiting is over and the hoping is past—that faith and action have now taken charge.

It’s a new day, a new beginning for your new life. With discipline, you will be amazed at how much progress you’ll be able to make. What have you got to lose except the guilt and fear of the past?

Now, I offer you this challenge. See how many things you can start and continue in this, the first day of your new beginning.

2. Action vs. Self-Delusion – Which Are You?

Are you self-delusional – a person that thinks “If I think it, it will come”? Do you have faith, but no good deeds? ACTION is the key.

Don’t be a person that delays action because you want to know everything before you get started. No circumstance or conditions will ever be perfect. If you wait to start something until you think you have all your ducks in a row. You’ll never start. In life, we’re forever learning. Therefore if you wait, you’ll never get to where you want to be. Take ACTION now! As King Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes 11:4, “Farmers who wait for perfect weather never plant. If they watch every cloud, they never harvest.”

You will learn that in the process of action, you fix your mistakes. If you fix your mistakes early, success comes faster.

Will today be the first day of your new beginning?

In our next Wisdom Note, we will explore 10 signposts for establishing positive habits.

6 Essentials for a Life of Thanksgiving

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There are many elements that make up a life of thanksgiving, and we will look at six essential ones. It is not surprising that money is not one of those essentials. When we live a life of thanksgiving we will live a life that is rich and satisfying. As the Apostle John wrote when he quoted Jesus in John 10:10, “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give you a rich and satisfying life.”

The ultimate expression of life is not money. The ultimate expression of life is not a thing or outward trapping. The ultimate expression of life is not even a million dollar bank account or a large and fancy home. The ultimate expression of a life of thanksgiving is a life that is both rich and satisfying.

So, what would constitute a rich and satisfying life?

1. Productivity

You won’t be happy if you don’t produce. The trek of life is not rest. Yes, we must rest, but only long enough to gather strength to get back to productivity. What’s the reason for the seasons and the seeds, the soil and the sunshine, the rain and the miracle of life? It’s to see what you can do with it — to try your hand to see what you can do.

2. Good Friends

Friendship is probably the greatest support system in the world, so don’t deny yourself the time to develop it. Nothing can match it. It’s extraordinary in its benefit. Friends are those wonderful people who know all about you and still like you. A real friend is someone that would go to any length of pain and discomfort to help you out.

A friend will laugh with you and cry with you. We’ve all got casual friends, who if we called them, they would say, “Hey, if you get back, call me, and we’ll have a party.”
Proverbs 18:24 puts it this way, “There are ‘friends’ who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.” You’ve got to have both real friends and casual friends in life. Enjoy both for what they are.

3. Your Culture or Heritage

Your heritage and culture with its language, music, ceremonies, traditions, and dress are so vitally important that you must keep it alive. The uniqueness of all of us, when blended together, brings vitality, energy, power, influence, and rightness to the world. The heritage that I have surrounding my ancestors in Marietta and The Big House, which is the family home, is very dear to me.

4. Spirituality

Spirituality helps to form the foundation of the family that builds the nation. Make sure you study it, practice it, and teach it. Don’t be careless about the spiritual part of your nature because it’s what makes you who you are, different from dogs, cats, birds, and mice.

5. Don’t Miss Anything

My parents taught me not to miss anything, not the game, the performance, the movie, or the dance. My dad is 87 this fall. He never misses church or activities at the senior apartment complex he lives in. He exercises each day and seldom misses his great-grandchildren’s birthday parties for the ones that live close enough. Dad misses mom every day, but he carries on and enjoys life every day also.

Be as active as feasible, and go to everything you possibly can. Go see everything, and experience all you possibly can. Enjoy your journey. Don’t always be waiting to reach your destination. Live a vital life. If you live well, you will earn well. If you live well, it will show in your face. It will show in the texture of your voice. There will be something unique and magical about you if you live well. It will infuse not only your personal life but also your business life. And, it will give you a vitality nothing else can give.

6. Your Family and the Inner Circle

Invest in them, and they’ll invest in you. Inspire them, and they’ll inspire you. Take care of the details with your inner circle. Share with your family. Celebrate with them and allow them to celebrate with you. Take time to call them and to stop by and spend a few moments with them. Sometimes it only takes a 5 or 10-minute phone call to make their day really special.

If a father walks out of the house and can still feel his daughter’s kiss on his face all day, he’s a powerful man. If a husband walks out of the house and can still feel the imprint of his wife’s arms around his body, he’s invincible all day. It’s the special stuff with your inner circle that makes you strong and powerful and influential. So, don’t miss that opportunity.

Hebrews 10:24 puts it this way, “Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.”

So, make sure to remember the true purpose and the reasons you do what you do even when you’re busy. May you truly live the kind of life that will bring the fruit and rewards that you desire.

Next week in our Wisdom Notes we will explore affirmation without discipline.

Creating Results in Life

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There are some basic principles that you will need to adopt to achieve success and happiness in life. Additionally, there are some fundamental processes that will shape your reality, and you have the power to use and control those processes to create happiness, success, and peace, at least on a daily basis.

In life, we receive endless information input, or what we sense with our bodies. These inputs have a massive influence on our thoughts and on how we perceive reality. This perception of reality shapes our attitudes or how we feel about and relate to reality. Our attitudes have a huge influence on our actions, or what we do in the world, which ultimately drives the results and shape our reality. This reality then becomes input which perpetuates the cycle.

Using The Cycle of Success and Happiness

We have the power to take advantage of this cycle and use it to achieve goals of happiness, success, and peace. Each of these elements – inputs, thoughts, attitudes, and actions – can be used to our advantage.

Inputs

We can choose to place information that is positive and true in our minds. It should be positive and provide motivation to act in a proactive manner. It should be true or based on what is real and useful.Here are a few tips.

Do:

  • Read motivational, empowering books by authors, such as Stephen Covey, Zig Ziglar, and Jim Rohn.
  • Read sacred literature – the Bible.
  • Surround yourself with positive people who have similar goals and ambitions in life.
  • Listen to music and spoken words that are positive and uplifting.

Don’t:

  • Spend time with people who are negative or who complain excessively.
  • Watch mindless television or waste time excessively on the internet.

Thoughts

While our thoughts are heavily influenced by inputs, we can still choose what we think about. We are constantly “talking to ourselves” in our minds. Our minds are always thinking, and we can choose what we think about and how we think about it. Tips for creating empowering thoughts include:

Do:

  • Choose thoughts and beliefs that empower you.
  • Choose thoughts that bring success and happiness to you and to others.
  • Choose thoughts that are positive, true, and hopeful.

Don’t:

  • Dwell on negative things.
  • Ignore negative things, but live proactively to overcome them.
  • Focus your thoughts on the things you cannot control.
  • Focus your thoughts on things that will bring negative results.

Attitudes

Although attitudes are heavily influenced by our thoughts, we have the capacity to consciously choose a positive, self-sustaining attitude. By controlling attitudes through consistent efforts (and trial and error), we will find that our actions are more proactive and bring greater results.

Do:

  • Have a positive attitude about life.
  • Have a positive attitude about yourself.
  • Expose your mind to people and media that infuse a healthy, positive attitude into your mind.

Don’t:

  • Focus on the negative or on things that you cannot control.
  • Watch too much news or be exposed to people and media that are overtly negative.

Disciplined Action

Our actions are the most vital component to success and happiness in life. We must align our actions and habits with the results we want and realize we have the power to control our actions and habits. Habits are the vehicle through which success is attained.

Do:

  • Focus your actions on those that will bring you positive, lasting results in your life. This usually entails work of some kind.

Don’t:

  • Waste time or energy on habits that limit personal success, growth, and happiness.
  • Include addictive habits and gross time-wasters such as mindless television or internet.

By taking control of each of these components in our lives, we have the power to create the results we desire – success, happiness, peace, or whatever outcome we desire.

We don’t always have control over the inputs in our lives, but we do have control over our thoughts. From our thoughts come our attitudes and from our attitudes our actions, which will eventually affect the input in our lives. That is why it is important to “fix our thoughts” and follow the encouragement in Philippians 4:8, “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”

This view certainly isn’t absolute. Input from the environment and people we are in and around greatly affect our thoughts, attitudes, and actions. But, viewing the world according to the process described above focuses our energy on the things that we can control. It enables us to take control of our personal habits and to begin to move forward toward our desired goals. I welcome any input or feedback that you desire to share.

In our next Wisdom Note, we will explore how to remove the pebble from your boot.

Train Your Fleas

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If we were to hike on rough trails with chains and shackles on, it would make the hike nearly impossible. At best, the progress that we would make would be very slow, and the danger of harm would be great. In the same way, if we allow the chains and shackles of our past to hold us back in our trek of life, any progress that we do make will be significantly limited.

In this Wisdom Note, we will make some good progress as we have removed the chains and shackles from last week. We come around a sharp curve in the trail to discover that a boulder rolled into the path last night and has completely blocked the trail before us. Since the path is so narrow at this point, we wonder how we will continue. The boulder is too large to climb over, and we can’t go around without falling off the cliff. Is it time to give up? We know that this path is now blocked “forever,” so we turn back.

For most people in life, once they run into these types of roadblocks, they never try again. They become fleas with the limiting belief that once they run into a block they can never get through it, so they adjust their expectations to the lower level. Let’s take a look at how this type of thinking can really stifle your potential in life.

In our previous Wisdom Note, we looked at training the largest of animals, the elephant. Today we are looking at training one of the smallest of insects, the flea.

Your beliefs about yourself have a profound influence on your success in learning and your success in life. Your beliefs are the foundation upon which you build many of your thought patterns, your attitudes, and your actions. Unfortunately, these beliefs, particularly self-beliefs, can be limiting in nature.

The Scenario

We can learn about this principle (surprisingly) from a jar full of fleas. If you fill a jar with fleas and place the lid on the jar, the fleas will jump and hit their heads on the lid. But leave them for a few days, and the fleas will adapt to their environment. To avoid the pain of hitting their heads, eventually, they will not jump as high as the lid. A very interesting phenomenon with the fleas is that once they have learned to jump only so high, even their offspring that are born after the lid is removed will not jump any higher than their parents.

The Lesson

So, what do we learn from these fleas? Just as the fleas began with the capacity to jump higher than the lid of the jar, we as human beings have the capacity to accomplish great things. However, through your experiences and your own reasoning, you sometimes come to believe that your ability to succeed is limited. As with the fleas, many times our children and grandchildren will not excel further than we do.

Paula and I have had the opportunity to work with many business clients over the years, as well as with friends and family members. We have observed in many cases that these individuals and business were held back by their self-limiting beliefs. We call it the “Self-Fulfilling Prophecy Syndrome.” Through limited beliefs and fears, what is believed is what comes true. Our beliefs about ourselves and our capacity to succeed limits us in our lives. The beliefs may have begun based on some sort of experience, like past failures, but a temporary setback, even if it is dramatic, should never be interpreted as a life-long ultimatum.

The Outcomes

So, how can you move beyond the limitations that you place on yourself? The following suggestions will help you begin to shape positive, self-affirming beliefs so you can begin to move forward in your learning and in your life more effectively.

  1. Flood your life with new, empowering knowledge. Placing new beliefs into your mind can help empower you and give you a new perspective. I have found that motivators like Zig Ziglar, Jim Rohn, Earl Nightingale, and Brian Tracey have helped me to see the world from a new, empowered perspective. Read their books and listen to their courseware. I also recommend reading the Bible with special emphasis on the books of Proverbs and Psalms. I have gained deep personal beliefs about my own worth, and these beliefs have given me a foundation of confidence in myself and in others.
  2. Remove disempowering relationships and messages from your life. Some individuals are toxic in nature and actually tear down everyone around them. To achieve true success, it is vital that you eliminate these individuals from your life wherever possible. In addition, I strongly recommend limiting the media you listen to, view, and interact with. Modern media shows can heavily influence your perspective of yourself and your life, so be sure to control the flow of information so that true, positive, empowering knowledge is obtained.
  3. Set goals. Plan out what you would like to accomplish in your education and in your life and then identify exactly what must be accomplished to reach those goals. When I plan out exactly what I must do to succeed, I realize that the first few steps are actually doable, and I often begin to move toward my goals.
  4. Do something that is difficult. Force yourself outside of your comfort zone. Accomplishing a difficult task can help build confidence in your abilities and give you the skills and tenacity required to do something that is even harder. Success breeds success, so set out to do something difficult and worthwhile.
  5. Recognize setbacks as temporary. “There is no failure, only feedback. There are no mistakes, just lessons learned,” Robert Allen. Viewing your shortcomings in this manner enables you to learn from your experiences as you move toward personal success.

Don’t allow fear to hold you back. As the Apostle Paul wrote to his student Timothy in 2 Timothy 1:7, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”

I believe in the power of the individual to achieve great success. As I work to improve and heighten my self-belief, I find that I am blessed with opportunities to move forward in exciting new ways. I close with a powerful quote, “If you put yourself in a position where you have to stretch outside your comfort zone, then you are forced to expand your consciousness,” Les Brown.

In our next Wisdom Note, we will explore creating results in our life.