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The 11 Mountains of Excuses

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In this Wisdom Note, we want to examine the 11 most common excuses that we all use at times, and next we will learn how to overcome them. Our trail this week is a long one, so strap on your hiking boots and come along with me on a fast-paced trek over the 11 Mountains of Excuses.

Excuses come in many forms, and we tend to make them in many different ways. Even though they vary from person to person, there are certain excuses that we all tend to make at one time or another. On our trail this week, we will break down these excuses and discuss what they mean and how we can deal with them when they crop up in our lives.

Excuse Mountain #1: There’s not enough time.

This really means that you’re lacking passion, focus, discipline, and/or direction. Likewise, it suggests that your priorities are out of sorts and that you may be lacking the ability to manage your time effectively.

Alternatively, this excuse could indicate that you simply don’t value your time or just don’t want to take the time to do what you feel you must in order to achieve your desired outcomes. In fact, the causes for this excuse could very well be narrowed down to procrastination or even laziness.

Excuse Mountain #2: There’s not enough money.

This means that you don’t consider money to be a priority or you are simply looking for an easy way to make money and don’t have the desire, determination, persistence, or patience to work hard to achieve financial security.

This excuse also suggests that you could simply be lacking the strategies or ideas that could help you reach your financial objectives. Read a few books or get a mentor or a financial coach who can help you gain the necessary knowledge and understanding you need to succeed financially.

Excuse Mountain #3: I don’t have an education.

This excuse means that you lack creativity, inspiration, and desire. In addition, it would seem that you also lack a willingness to work hard and go the extra mile to put a little more effort into achieving your objectives — despite your lack of knowledge.

There are many multi-millionaires and billionaires who have nothing more than a high school education. Some don’t even have that. However, they were creative, had a desire, and were willing to work harder than anyone else to achieve their goals and objectives.

Excuse Mountain #4: I’m too old or young.

This excuse means you lack understanding, confidence, or perspective. Men and women of all ages have achieved great things. Therefore you are never too old or too young to attain your goals and objectives. It might be a little more difficult, which means that you may need to be more persistent, creative, and open to a greater array of experiences and opportunities. Alternatively, your age could actually work to your advantage. It just depends on your perspective and your ability to think flexibly about your circumstances.

Excuse Mountain #5: I don’t know how.

This excuse means you lack belief and confidence in your own abilities. It also means that you haven’t taken the time to practice, learn, or gain the experience or education necessary to “know what to do.”

This excuse is really very easy to combat. Simply learn how to do what you want to do by studying, reading books, gaining practical experience, asking for help, etc. Only by making mistakes over and over again will you eventually discover what works or doesn’t work for you.

Excuse Mountain #6: I can’t change.

This means you lack motivation and a reason to change. Moreover, this suggests that you lack emotional pain that would help you to accelerate change.

When it comes to our motives and desires, we are always pulled forward by the desire for pleasure or pushed forward by the desire to avoid pain. If you don’t believe you can change, you simply haven’t associated enough pain to NOT changing. Once you begin to look at all the dire consequences that will result from NOT making a change, then you will soon realize that the motivation was always there.

Excuse Mountain #7: I’m afraid to fail.

This excuse means you lack understanding, confidence, knowledge, and experience. Fear is nothing more than “False Evidence Appearing Real.” It’s our perspective of fear that frightens us and prevents us from moving forward. However, once we gain knowledge and understanding about the thing we fear, then that is the moment we build enough confidence to move forward and gain some experience. Subsequently, with enough “experience” under our belts, we develop even greater self-confidence that will propel us through our fears and toward the attainment of our goals and objectives.

Also consider that the trail to success is always strewn with obstacles, challenges, and problems. Along this path everyone makes mistakes. However, those who fail are those who simply give up and excuse their life away.

Excuse Mountain #8: It’s not the right time.

This excuse means you lack perspective, information, and resources. Sometimes it’s simply not the right time or season of life to take action. However, more often than not this is just a lame excuse that should indicate you lack perspective or you simply don’t have the necessary resources to deal with the circumstances at hand. Therefore, your first objective is to acquire the necessary resources to help you attain your desired outcome.

Excuse Mountain #9: I have to plan thoroughly first.

This excuse means you’re lacking perspective or you’re simply paralyzed by fear. There’s nothing wrong with planning for the future or taking the time to lay out a clear plan of action. However, if planning is all you do, then this indicates that there might be underlying fears that are preventing you from moving forward. Identify and overcome these fears, and subsequently, you will overcome your need for over-planning.

Excuse Mountain #10: It won’t work.

This excuse means you lack self-belief, motivation, creativity, patience, perspective, and persistence. All of these qualities are essential if you desire to eventually make things work. In fact, these qualities are absolutely essential for everything of value that you want to create in your life.

Excuse Mountain #11: I’m not inspired.

This excuse means you have poor habits that lead to a lack of discipline. Think about what kinds of habits you indulge in on a daily basis and about your typical routine throughout the day. More often than not you will find that inspiration isn’t a problem if you simply take the time to transform how you go about your day.

For instance, a lack of sleep could be causing you to feel tired, which leads to a lack of inspiration. If we dig a little deeper we could find that it’s your diet that’s causing your sleepless nights or that your lack of sleep is a result of not getting enough exercise throughout the week. Moreover, maybe you’re simply not getting enough exercise because you’re working longer hours than usual and, therefore, don’t have time to allocate for exercise.

This reminds me of excuses made that had an eternal consequence in a parable told by Christ explaining an invitation into His Kingdom in the analogy of a banquet in Luke 14:17-20, “When the banquet was ready, he sent his servant to tell the guests, ‘Come, the banquet is ready.’ But they all began making excuses. One said, ‘I have just bought a field and must inspect it. Please excuse me.’ Another said, ‘I have just bought five pairs of oxen, and I want to try them out. Please excuse me.’ Another said, ‘I just got married, so I can’t come.’”

Now that we have explored the 11 Mountains of Excuses and have trekked over them, next we will learn how to eliminate excuses forever.

Life Is Like Flying in a Jet

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In this Wisdom Note, come along with me in your mind as we head out for another trek. Let’s continue enjoying the beautiful summer weather. It is a great day to continue on our trek. As we enjoy our time in nature feeling the warm breeze, watching the rustling of the trees and grass, and hearing the birds sing their melodies, we stare up into the cloudless blue sky and stand in awe of God’s creation. As we continue looking into the sky, we notice the faint lines left by the jets as they pass through the air 35,000 feet above us going nearly 600 miles per hour. Some of the modern inventions, such as the jets that pass overhead, are truly miracles.

I enjoy flying and travel as I make my way to Arizona each month to assist with our construction company projects there. During a three year time period when I worked with a national consulting firm, I traveled every week, so I spent a lot of time on planes. I really do enjoy flying, both commercially and privately, and understand the importance of safety and the checklist as part of that process.

One of the seemingly unusual instructions that we are given before taking off is “If cabin pressure should change, panels above your seat will open revealing oxygen masks; reach up and pull a mask toward you. Place it over your nose and mouth and secure it with the elastic band that can be adjusted to ensure a snug fit. The plastic bag will not fully inflate although oxygen is flowing. Secure your own mask first before helping others.”

From an emotional standpoint, especially as a parent, your initial reaction would be to assist your children with putting their masks on first before you would put your own on. Is it not selfish of us to think of ourselves first?

Growing up in church, we were taught the children’s song “Jesus and Others and You. What a wonderful way to spell JOY!” And, while I understand that this was supposed to teach us to think of others first and not to be selfish, the song does lack some fundamental logic.

The logical conclusion in the flying scenario is if you do not take care of yourself first by making sure your mask is on and that you can breathe, you may be unable to assist anyone else to stay alive.

I remember 30 years ago before this became a popular analogy with public speakers, Paula mentioned how this statement is what we should practice in our lives. If we do not take care of ourselves in all areas of life, we will not be able to assist others properly.

Both Paula and I have the heart to help people, but there have been times when we have given more time, resources, and money than was probably wise of logical. And, it has impacted us in a negative manner.

In today’s busy world, the first thing that we seem to neglect is ourselves. There’s only so much time in the day and most times, taking care of exterior responsibilities are more important than taking care of our inner selves. We need to take advantage of the biggest untapped opportunities in life just waiting for us to pause, connect, and listen.

It has been said that Mother Teresa took 4 hours each morning to reconnect before she took a step into the world, and Pope John Paul took 3 1/2 hours of quiet time each morning. Yet most people bounce out of bed, hop in the shower, and think they are ready to tackle the world unarmed, disconnected, and ill-equipped.

The secret is to put your own oxygen mask on first before you try to help someone else. Just as in flying, you can’t help someone else if you’re not ready yourself. If you don’t take care of YOU first, you’ll have less to share with the world. Taking time for you isn’t selfish. It’s the best thing you can do for yourself and for others. If you don’t take care of yourself, you can experience burnout, stress, fatigue, reduced mental effectiveness, health problems, anxiety, frustration, inability to sleep, and even death. Are you experiencing any of these symptoms?

Whether it’s meditation, prayer, reading something inspirational, or going for a walk in nature, go put your own oxygen mask on first and then step forward to help others. You will find things lining up for you with such grace and ease in a way that you couldn’t have planned if you’d tried. It seems backward that by spending time on ourselves, we actually have more time later, but that’s just how it works. Both Mother Teresa and Pope John Paul did it for a reason, and it certainly wasn’t because they were selfish or lazy.

If you don’t feel you cannot afford time for yourself, understand that even Jesus, after pouring himself into others, took many opportunities to unplug and get away in solitude and pray. I think it would do us well to follow His example more often.

Luke 5:16 tells us, “But Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer.” In Mark 1:35, we read, “Before daybreak the next morning, Jesus got up and went out to an isolated place to pray.” Jesus understood where real strength lies.

One practice that I have implemented throughout my adult life is to get up before others in the house to exercise, pray, and read/listen to devotional materials and inspiring stories. This helps to set the tone for my entire day.

Here are some practical tips for this week’s Trek. It’s time to let go of the guilt and the excuses and put your oxygen mask on first by:

  • Getting enough rest
  • Exercising regularly
  • Going for long walks outdoors
  • Eating right – fresh, whole foods that you prepare at home, stay away from processed food and sugars
  • Having regular physicals
  • Going to the doctor when you need treatment
  • Spending time every day on a renewal activity
  • Praying and meditating
  • Sitting quietly at least 10 minutes
  • Listening to uplifting music
  • Reading an inspiring book
  • Writing in your journal
  • Writing a list of what you are grateful for
  • Cutting down your stress with laughter
  • Reading comics and joke books
  • Buying a joke of the day calendar
  • Watching a funny T.V. show or movie and allowing yourself a good belly laugh without feeling guilty for taking some time to chill out

Now that you understand why you must put your own oxygen mask on first and then step forward to help others, you will be better prepared for each day’s trek.

Life Is Like a Bell

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In our Wisdom Note for today picture with me that we are heading out on our trail for another trek today. We are making good progress over summits and through the valleys, past the meadows and the rivers. As we crest a hill, we hear from deep within the valley the distinct ringing of a church bell calling out to the people of the village that it is time to come, worship, and fellowship together. In today’s hectic and fast-paced world, we reflect fondly on a simpler time when we took the time to come together as a like-minded community.

Just like people, there are different kinds of bells. Church bells ring melodious while the trolley goes clang, clang, clang. There are cowbells, sleigh bells, schools bells, dinner bells, doorbells, and handbells. Probably one of the most famous bells is the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia. Paula and I had the privilege of visiting this past week as we were attending the Podcast Movement 2018 conference that was held in Philadelphia.

Bells have been an important part of my life. Growing up on the farm, we had a big train bell mounted on the back of the house that we could hear just about anywhere over the entire 100 acres. Mom would call us in from the orchard, the valley, or the lake for dinner or other important matters with this bell.

At The Big House, we have a large train bell mounted outside the back door that my granny always rang loud and long when family and friends were leaving after an extended stay as she waved and shouted goodbye. We still use it for that purpose today.

When our kids were still living at home, Paula had a different type of bell for each of the three floors in our home–cowbell for the attic, a small dinner bell for the second floor, and an electronic bell for the first floor. The kids always knew which floor to come to based on the bell used. It sure saved a lot of shouting to round up the children.

This also reminds me that our lives are like a bell. Each bell was designed for a specific purpose. It can ring loud or soft, fast or slow, but it should always ring true based on the type of bell. One truth that is undeniable, though, is that you can never unring a bell.

The expression “You can’t unring the bell” has been frequently used in courts of law. Once an attorney makes a statement or presents evidence, jurors can’t “unring the bell” and unhear what they heard or unsee what they saw. If the statement or evidence is later found to have been inadmissible, it could be grounds for a mistrial. “Unring a bell” has been cited in many legal decisions.

Politicians also know that they can’t “unring a bell”—statements and actions can’t be erased from the public’s mind. There are many idioms similar to “unring a bell,” such as “You can’t unscramble eggs” and “You can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube.”

This is why it is so important that we always engage our brain, before we engage our mouth. Once a word is spoken, it cannot be unspoken. As Proverbs 15:28 says, “The heart of the godly thinks carefully before speaking; the mouth of the wicked overflows with evil words.”

Also in Proverbs 10:11, we read, “The words of the godly are a life-giving fountain; the words of the wicked conceal violent intentions.”

The old axiom “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me” is just not true. Words can wound deeply, so be very careful of what you say and how you say it. Some people remember much longer than others, and when we are wounded, it is hard to forgive and forget, especially if it is an on-going practice by the offender.

The book of Proverbs has so many verses about how we should and should not speak. The words that hurt the most are those that come from ones we love who should also love us.

Proverbs 11:9, “With their words, the godless destroy their friends…”

Proverbs 15:1 , “Harsh words make tempers flare.”

Proverbs 15:4 , “…the deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.”

Encouraging words, on the other hand, can be a life giving force.

Proverbs 16:24, “Kind words are like honey — sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.”

Proverbs 18:20, “Wise words satisfy like a good meal; the right words bring satisfaction.”

Ephesians 4:29, “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.”

If you find yourself wishing that you could “unring the bell,” consider how much time you spend talking, for it says in Proverbs 10:19, “Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.”

While I am not a proponent of living in the past at all, the past should be a teaching tool for us. No, you can’t unring a bell, but the next time you “ring the bell,” make sure that its purpose is to help, encourage, and build others up.

If you find yourself the recipient of someone else’s thoughtless or cruel words, make sure that your bell continues to ring true.

We are encouraged in the 1st letter that the Apostle Peter wrote in Chapter 3 verses 9-11, “Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing. For the Scriptures say, ‘If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies. Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it.'”

Regardless of what type of bell you are, serve that purpose faithfully and always ring true because you can never unring a bell. Now that you understand how life is like a bell, ring true each day on your trek of life. You have a purpose no one else can fill.

Life Is Like Starring in a Movie

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As we begin our Wisdom Note this week, let us ponder how important making the most of every moment really is.

Each of us is the screenwriter, director, and leading character in our movie of life. Our family, friends, associates, and everyone with whom we come in contact are cast members in our movie. Some of these people will be our co-stars and supporting actors while others will just be walk-ons. You are the only person that is in every scene of your life.

The important concept to grasp is that there are no practice days, and there is no dress rehearsal. Each day is an impromptu performance. Once we understand this, it may help us to perform at our best. With all impromptu performances, we must realize that we will miss cues and flub up lines, that will draw cheers and boos from those watching our performance. We won’t perform perfectly every day, but the show must go on…

All too often we get so consumed with our “star role” that we lose site of the importance of our overall, lifelong movie and the crucial role that all the supporting cast members play. We miss the things that really matter in life. Before we know it, the seconds have become minutes, the days have become weeks, and the months have become years. And, when we finally take time to catch our breath, we look back in retrospect and think, “My performance is nearing the end, where did all the time go?”

It’s so easy to be blinded by our own performance, ambition, power, and success that we miss including the simple pleasures of life into our script. For example, did your children’s birthday parties, Little League games, or dance recitals make it into your movie? Did you include the scenes where you were available to counsel your friend in need? Did you make the time to help your kids with their homework, to attend back-to-school nights, or to put down your newspaper/telephone/iPad when your family wanted to tell you about their day?

Or, were there more important plot lines that you included in your movie of life?

Now, I realize that your movie includes hectic scenes of life and that you’re getting pulled in a million different directions. The truth is, it’s not that you don’t have enough time to include the things that matter to you into your script — but rather, you allowed other priorities to become part of your movie.

It goes without saying that every time you decide to focus on one thing in your life, you’ve also decided not to spend that time on something else.

Unfortunately, once opportunities are lost, they’re often lost forever — life doesn’t come with a dress rehearsal. So, if you think you may regret the script that you are writing, it may be time to change who will be the most important supporting characters in your life’s movie.

Here are some guideposts to help you as you continue to write your script.

1. Priorities

Have you ever stopped to think about what matters most to you? Will you include these supporting characters and plot lines in your movie? Or do trivial issues sidetrack you from doing the things that you should care about the most?

2. Agenda

Do you let other people write your script for you? How much time do you spend reacting to other people’s plots and drama versus writing your own and doing things that matter? Are you asking your loved ones to take minor roles in your movie, while allowing others free rein over your priorities, making them strong supporting characters?

3. Time Management

How much of your day is spent on autopilot? Do you show up on the set of life and allow someone else’s agenda to control your role in your movie? Do you devote more time to thinking about what you’re going to do or actually doing it? When was the last time you identified and eliminated wasteful tasks and routines – that is wasteful scenes and lines?

4. Quality

How much of your day is spent worrying about problems in your script versus appreciating the moment or the current scene? What percentage of your time do you spend being physically present reciting your lines but mentally absent? Does trying to be in multiple scenes at once – that is multitasking – damage your ability to give your undivided attention to your current scene that is most important?

5. Inner Peace

Do you care more about what you want out of life or about what others think about your performance? Do you value creating wonderful memories as much as you value material rewards? Are you investing in your supporting characters – that is your family and friends – or taking them for granted? When was the last time you felt comfortable in your “star role”?

6. The Decision is Yours

It’s so easy to get so caught up in the day-to-day minutiae that we lose sight of the big picture. You must take the time to pause, reflect, and enjoy your movie.

Even if your life movie becomes a blockbuster and you secure the enviable positions of power and material wealth, understand that all decisions come with real costs — in relationships and precious moments that can’t be replaced. Make sure that your stardom does not come at a price that is too high to pay.

The script you write, the movie you direct, and the role you play in your movie is your decision and yours alone. It is never too late to rewrite the script and make the most important people in your life your supporting characters. It is your life movie, make it a great one for you, your supporting characters, and the scenes that matter most.

A successful life movie is achieved by spending time and attention on scenes that really matter to you. No matter how young or old you are, you still have time to write a great script and direct your movie from this point forward. Are you spending your precious time in the areas that matter most to you? It’s your choice.

As recorded in James 3:13, “If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom.”

Now that you realize you are the star of “This is Your Life Movie,” what role will we play as supporting characters?

Today we have learned the best way to brew an excellent pot of coffee and also learned how to become a more excellent individual.

Life Is Like a River

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I have often stated that I will live to 125, and I am not sure that is even enough time to get everything done I would like to do in life. While I do have many hectic and stressful days, I am grateful to be busy. Even during our hectic lives, we need to set time aside to meditate and refocus on what is most important in life. We need to stop and rest. We need to invest the time to nourish our souls, minds, and bodies. We need to sit beside the streams of life before they become raging rivers. In this Wisdom Note, let us consider how life is like a river.

All rivers start as a few drops of rain. In comparison, our birth is like the formation of a spring on a hillside, which has gathered its water from the rain or snow-melt trickling off the mountain slopes.

As a child grows from an infant to toddler and begins to jabber, so is the babbling of a brook as it gains both volume and intensity. Before long, the child is growing and gaining traits that he will carry throughout his life. The brook expands into a creek with more of a defined course that it follows, leaving its mark everywhere it flows.

As our children grow into their teen years they begin to show their independence from their youth, and they seem to be always on the go. In the same way, the creeks come together to form the rivers that cascade over rocks and trees, forming rushing waters and rapids that are difficult to navigate. Like these streams and rivers, they encounter obstacles and challenges but learn to overcome these obstacles by wearing them down or finding a path around or through them.

Even as we grow into adults, at times there are massive floods, huge waterfalls, and raging rapids. We also learn that there are the periods of smooth and peaceful flow. The observation to be made is that the flow never stops but continues on.

Our lives flow from bend to bend. We do not always know what we will find around the next curve. Some tumbles may result as the water crashes against obstacles. As with our lives, the river changes its course but continues on. Some of the blockages with which we meet hold us back until we build up enough force behind ourselves to break through and continue on.

At times our lives even include sudden let downs and seeming tragedies, but even in those times, we have the opportunity to create impressive waterfalls as we cascade over a cliff. Maybe you have already had a Niagara of an experience. I know in our lives we have experienced the falls. If you have also, then you know firsthand that the life of a river does not end at the bottom of the fall. The river instead swirls itself together again and continues on—now on a different level than before, a level even closer to sea level, which has been its goal all along.

You are closer to your destination after having had a spill, so count those times as blessings and move on. The falls will remain there, in your past, ceaselessly active, but you will have flowed downstream, out of sight and hearing of it. Knowing that you can’t go back to it, you are wise enough to leave it behind you as you flow onward toward your destiny.

Eventually, we, as rivers, carve wide valleys of maturity in our senior years after which may come meanders that sometimes run back upon themselves nearly full circle. In those meandering times, we may wonder why our lives have to double back to learn lessons again, but learn we do, allowing us to flow onward. Just as the rivers deepen and become still, we know that as we gain deep wisdom in our lives, our spirits become peaceful and still within us.

Then, we become mellow in anticipation of our approach to the delta to greet the waters of the sea. There, the fresh and salty blend as the original snow-melt melds into the sea. Is this where the river ends? No, it does not. The droplets of an impact that you have made on your journey are transported back to the formation of the initial spring as the journey begins anew through the lives of future generations. Our lives are like a river that flows through us, not a reservoir accumulating life for ourselves. The living legacy that we create each day should flow into others so that their journeys through life will be rich and satisfying because of what flows through us.

From the creation of humans in the Garden of Eden, rivers were the source of nourishment and life, as is described in Genesis 2:10, “A river watering the garden flowed from Eden; from there it was separated into four headwaters.” In the same way, we should desire God as David wrote in Psalms 42:1, “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.”

Now, think about how many parallels you can find between a river and your life. And let us be mindful to invest our time wisely on our trek of life and keep moving forward each day.