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Where the Magic Happens

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As we begin our journey in today’s Wisdom Note, we want to continue on the same trail from our previous Wisdom Note but venture out of our comfort zone. When we leave our zone of comfort, although it may appear to be intimidating and less secure, most of the time it proves beneficial for us and our long-term growth because outside of our comfort zone is where the magic happens. When we force ourselves outside this comfort zone it allows us to stretch and grow to become all that God has destined us to be.

There are actually three zones where you can live. However, only one of these zones is optimal for your life in that it will have the most positive impact and allow you to grow and flourish.

Let’s explore these three zones of life in detail.

1. The Comfort Zone

Your comfort zone is a psychological place where you feel safe and in control. You experience low-anxiety, and you’re using a limited set of behaviors. This means you’re not growing or developing any new skills. Essentially you’re stuck on autopilot, and you’re just going through the motions. Clearly, this is not the place that fosters growth. It’s in our comfort zone that we feel safe and secure. It’s the zone of routine and the place where we do those things we find safe, comfortable, easy and familiar.

A comfort zone is a place where nothing particularly challenging happens. Growing up on an apple orchard, I can certainly relate to this quote from Will Rogers, “You’ve got to go out on a limb sometimes because that’s where the fruit is.”

Scientists have researched the role anxiety plays in performance. They have found that too little anxiety results in poor performance while increasing anxiety increases performance. At the other extreme, too much anxiety reduces performance. The findings from this research show that if we want to maximize our performance, we need to be in a state of optimal anxiety.

Although it may not be very evident, there are significant dangers that lurk in the comfort zone. Denis Waitley puts it this way, “Life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing.”

You know you’re in a comfort zone when you feel no anxiety, no pressure, and no stress. You’re doing things that are easy, comfortable, and familiar. You’re in control and doing things that you know how to do. They don’t take much physical or emotional energy. It’s dangerous to stay in your comfort zone for long periods of time, as it leads to mediocrity, stagnation, and a lack of growth. If you spend too much time in your comfort zone, you’ll end up bored and unchallenged. To recap:

  • Comfort zones limit your goals and dreams.
  • Comfort zones limit your potential.
  • Comfort zones encourage mediocrity.

2. The Learning Zone

“We need a place of productive discomfort, if you’re too comfortable, you’re not productive. And if you’re too uncomfortable, you’re not productive. Like Goldilocks, we can’t be too hot or too cold,” Daniel H. Pink.

The learning zone is where the magic happens. It’s the place where growth happens, success is built, and goals are attained. If you’ve ever pushed yourself to get to the next level in a sport, fitness or learning, you know what it’s like to step outside your comfort zone. You know what it’s like in the learning zone.

It’s like going to the gym for the first time. The exercises are difficult, and you struggle. They take a lot of energy and concentration to complete. However, each week you grow stronger, the exercises become easier, and they require less energy to complete. However, as the exercises become easier, you get less physical benefit. Soon you find yourself becoming used to your exercise routine, your heart rate no longer rises, and you’re not sore in the mornings. When this happens you’re no longer growing stronger. You’re in a comfort zone. What’s the solution? You need to change your exercise routine. You need to switch to a new set of exercises. The same principle holds for other areas in our lives.

“Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new,” Brian Tracy.

Unless you spend time in your learning zone you’ll fail to grow. You can go to the gym every day doing the same exercises for months and months and gain no benefit. If what you’re doing is comfortable and easy, you’re not in the learning zone. And, if you’re not in your learning zone you’re not growing.

3. The Danger Zone

“Only those who risk going too far can possibly know how far one can go,” T.S. Elliot.

At the end of your learning zone, you enter the danger zone. This is the place where you start to lose focus. You begin to panic and performance declines. You need to ensure that you don’t push yourself too hard too quickly and thereby land in the danger zone. Going back to our gym example, if you try to lift a weight that is too heavy, you’re likely to damage your tendons or tear a muscle.

The lesson is to remain in the learning zone and stay out of the danger zone.

You can stay out of the danger zone by taking regular breaks. Place yourself in the learning zone for a period of time and then retreat back to your comfort zone for a short time to take a break. Once rested, prepare for the next push into the learning zone. Gradually spending more time in the learning zone will be comfortable and allow you to grow into a new learning zone.

The Apostle Paul in his 1st letter to the church in Corinth understood the concept of getting out of your comfort zone as he compared his preparation to that of an athlete in Chapter 9 verses 24-27, “Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.”

Try something new each week. If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.

Stepping Off the Cliff

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Life Changes and Cliff Hangers

Within our Wisdom Notes, we want to explore how to handle any major change in our lives. With the diagnosis of leukemia in our 2 1/2 year-old granddaughter Hazel six weeks ago, we who are close to her and her situation certainly feel that we are stepping off the cliff. Today as we consider the topic of stepping or maybe even slipping off a cliff, we need to consider how we are going to handle it in advance.

Major changes in life, whether by choice or by circumstance, can be intimidating, even very scary. But life is about having the faith to move forward, even when the path ahead is not clear or solid. To grow in wisdom, we need to gain the confidence to continue as we take one more step, even when the trail before us is shrouded in fog, and we cannot see our way. During those times, it is easy to lose our footing and not know how to recover.

Visualize we are hiking up a long, winding trail on a beautiful mountainside. The flowers are wafting their summer scents through the warm air. The hummingbirds are darting to and fro, seemingly effortless in their flight. The path is not smooth, but the rocks do not hinder our progress. Occasionally, a tree limb or root causes a short detour. We navigate around these minor obstructions and get back onto the path, winding its way to the peak.

As you round a sharp corner in front of you, the trail suddenly narrows. As you place one sure foot in front of the other, there is a drop off that appears before you. There is sheer rock below you for hundreds of feet. It startles you as a few loose pebbles find thier way down into the apparently bottomless span before you. Then one of your feet slips, and you start to tumble.

Scary situation, isn’t it? It makes my heart pound just to ponder it!

Life’s trek can be similar to this. Most days we can easily navigate across small detours, and it is easy enough to get back on the path. In some seasons, though…as we traverse the trail before us on this trek we call “life,” dark shadows fall across our way. Some days we face torrential rainstorms that prevent any evident progress. Yet we must press on and on, ever upward. But what about those cliffs of life? What happens when we lose our footing or we step off the cliff?

Stepping off of a cliff is analogous to any major life change. How is the best way to deal with those changes so that you land on your feet and can walk away with little collateral damage?

1. Accept the Change

The most surefire way to make a big change more difficult for yourself is to fight it. Although having a hard time letting go is a natural reaction, a desire to live in the past will only cause more pain and prolong the adjustment period. Instead of dwelling on what you’re leaving behind on the solid path, such as a home, a job, close family, or security — focus on getting through the change right now and create a positive future. In order to do that successfully, you must first accept the reality that your life will no longer be the same. “The only constant in life is change. In order to succeed, you must embrace this fact.”

2. Find Time for Reflection

Whether it’s journaling, meditation, prayer, Bible study, taking long walks on your own, or talking to a trusted friend, periods of change are when it’s most important to stop and assess how you’re feeling about everything. Self-reflection can help you identify your main sources of challenge and worry, and to see other sides of the situation. Taking time for reflection will also help you to act mindfully and with intention as you take your next steps. Even Christ got away from the crowds and spent time reflecting. We see this in Luke 5:16, “But Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer.”

3. Take It One Day At A Time

When you start feeling overwhelmed by all the changes that are taking place, remember to take things one step and one day at a time. Set small, attainable goals for the future, and try not to get wrapped up in speculations or anxieties about where your future is headed. Learning to live in the now — not in your nostalgia for the past or worry about the future — will make any challenges seem more manageable. If it helps, create a timeline and write down your goals and plans, both long-term and short-term. None of us knows what tomorrow holds, so focus mostly on today. Abraham Lincoln told us,  “The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time.”

4. Find a Mentor

Talking to an older friend or relative who has successfully stepped on the cliff and lived to tell about it can make a huge difference in helping you feel equipped to handle the change. Take the time to meet for coffee, lunch, or a long-distance remote time to hear their story and ask for advice on conquering your own big change. The wisdom that can be found in others is worth any price. Proverbs 1:23 encourages, “Come and listen to my counsel. I’ll share my heart with you and make you wise.”

5. Learn To Be An Optimist

Overcoming negative thought patterns and cultivating a positive outlook will shift your mindset so that you learn to see opportunities for growth where previously there were only roadblocks. The sun is always shining above the clouds of life. Every big change has something beneficial to bring to your life. ” Before you change your thinking, you have to change what goes into your mind,” Zig Ziglar.

When you do slip and stumble, and you will, if you are a Christ follower, you will be able to persevere through God’s strength and find solid ground with a new song in our hearts as is reflected in Psalms 40:1-3,

“I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,
and he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground
and steadied me as I walked along.
He has given me a new song to sing,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see what he has done and be amazed.
They will put their trust in the Lord.”

Let’s move forward on our trek, realizing that when you do step off the cliff, you will be able to land on your feet. No change will be so large that you cannot handle it. As your guide, friend, mentor, and fellow sojourner, let me know how I can help when you find yourself stepping off a cliff.

Think and Grow Wise

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Grow in Wisdom

Another week has come and gone, and we are continuing to conquer our giants as I wrote about in our previous Wisdom Note. I am thankful for all the experiences and opportunities that God has weaved into my life. Even the very difficult one’s life Hazel’s diagnosis of Leukemia. Yes, it is overwhelming at times (okay, most of the time), but it is through the challenging times of daily life that we gain and grow in wisdom. Wisdom is obtained through years of proper thinking and experience. That is why today’s Wisdom Notes is titled “Think and Grow Wise.”

As we continue our trek of life each day, consider this: To become a wise person, you need to gain accurate, perceptive insights into human behavior and understand how this is integrated into everyday situations. You need to practice what Christ’s half-brother James wrote in his letter in Chapter 1, verses 19 and 20, “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.” You will need to be observers of human nature and master psychologists with excellent emotional intelligence.

You have to be willing to learn from real life experiences, not just academic study. This may mean that you keep what you know to yourself but are willing to share what you know with certain individuals that are ready to think and learn.

You need to have discernment and give advice to open-minded learners. If you desire to become wise, you will learn the talent of asking questions that lead to new understanding. This practice will bring a consciousness to yourself to communicate what you know when the situation is right and with those who are ready and willing to learn.

If you are to become wise you need to think about what you do and don’t do. You need to have a strong inner frame reference built on your integrity for your actions and statements. You need to learn to “read” situations well and understand others accurately to see through the obvious and to trust your intuition.

You will need to think through life issues and gain a sense of the hidden motives behind the actions of others. This practice will allow you to become less vulnerable to cons, threats, criticism, and manipulation. If you are able to learn this trait, then you can handle pressure and threats with humor. You will be able to remain stable and sustain self-control in times of turmoil. You will desire and expect things to work well. This will allow you to feel optimistic and self-confident when coping with rough situations.

A valuable way to understand this wisdom is to define what it is not. What is the opposite of wisdom? Here are 8 things that show a lack of wisdom:

  1. Speak or act in stupid ways, and then blame others for what happens.
  2. Speak or act in ways that cause difficulties for people or groups important to you.
  3. Speak or act in ways that lead to an unnecessary loss.
  4. Not learn from mistakes and make the same mistakes.
  5. Be out of touch with what is happening.
  6. Be bitter about the past and cynical about the future.
  7. Be outspoken about what others are doing wrong.
  8. Act in ways contrary to one’s stated values and goals, and not realize it.

How do you acquire wisdom? Here are four practical, yet simple ways:

  1. Develop life-long, child-like curiosity and a playful spirit.
  2. Be happy rather than hostile, no matter how badly life has treated you.
  3. Ask questions, explore, and desire to know how things work.
  4. Learn valuable lessons from difficult experiences.

Gaining wisdom can be defined as a three-part process:

  1. Gaining information or the raw data is the first step. Look for the kind of data you can find in books, in the research, on the internet.
  2. Knowledge through thinking is knowing or learning how to apply the information gathered.
  3. True wisdom is knowing when and under what circumstances the information and the knowledge are appropriate, or useful, or even true. And when and how and even whether to apply the knowledge you have gained.

I believe that personal wisdom begins with knowing who—and whose—we are, which allows us to live by a value system consistent with that understanding. Through this, we are able to see and appreciate, the unique gifts that God has given us. These are our personality traits, opportunities, and abilities to impact the lives of others. Appreciation is an integral part of wisdom, for we know that wisdom does not come to us naturally. It must be cultivated and nurtured through proper thinking.

If you desire a blueprint for becoming wise, one of the best ways is to study the book of Proverbs. In Chapter 1 it lays out the plan in verses 2-7,

“Their purpose is to teach people wisdom and discipline,
to help them understand the insights of the wise.
Their purpose is to teach people to live disciplined and successful lives,
to help them do what is right, just, and fair.

These proverbs will give insight to the simple,
knowledge and discernment to the young.

Let the wise listen to these proverbs and become even wiser.
Let those with understanding receive guidance
by exploring the meaning in these proverbs and parables,
the words of the wise and their riddles.

Fear of the Lord is the foundation of true knowledge,
but fools despise wisdom and discipline.”

Part of growing wise is to realize that events happen in our lives that we will never fully understand . As with our granddaughter Hazel and her leukemia, we don’t understand why, but we do have faith that God will work His will through this challenge. May it all draw us closer to God and help to conform each of us as His image bearers. While she is responding well to her treatments and the doctors are encouraged with her progress, the chemo treatments are starting to take their expected toll on her little body. I would appreciate continued prayers for Hazel and her family.

#basilforhazel
basilforhazel.org

Turning Failure Into Success

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Success Steps 6-10

This week our Wisdom Notes are coming from beautiful Rio Verde, AZ. I am here working with our partners on our construction projects. Phase I is coming to an end within the next month. We are hopeful that the developer will move forward with Phase II immediately. That decision is based on the strength of sales on the first 12 town homes. There are a lot of steps in a project of this size, and we do run into glitches and missteps frequently. It requires us to turn those failures around in order for the overall project to be successful.

This week we continue to explore the steps needed to Turn Failure Into Success. Obstacles and failures, if applied correctly, can actually become our stepping stones for a successful life trek.

As we continue on, we want to use five more stepping stones as we traverse life’s trails before us. Our lives will be filled with obstacles, difficulties, and, at times, failures. Here are five more ways we can navigate over, under, around, and through the obstacles of life.

The more you fail, the more you learn. While we should not purposely fail, we need to thrive on the wisdom and experience that we gain from failing. We need to soak it in and embrace it. Our objective each day should be to make a positive difference in the lives of others through taking action.

When we take smart action we should never fear failure. We need to persevere in spite of failures. Every failure is a learning opportunity on how not to do something or how to do it better. If we are going to be an achiever then to some extent failure is the way of life. Every failure makes us much more determined to succeed. “Failure and defeat are life’s greatest teachers but sadly, most people, don’t want to go there!” Ralph Heath.

Stepping Stone #6 – Learn from your failures.

Failure can be positive or negative. Failure is a learning tool. Thomas Edison failed a thousand times before he invented the lightbulb. Failure is trying to do things others have not considered. It is a temporary by-product of creativity. It is challenging the learning process. A reporter once asked Thomas Edison the inventor of the lightbulb how it felt to fail 1,000 times? “‘I didn’t fail 1,000 times,’ Edison responded. ‘The lightbulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”

Stepping Stone #7 – Failures are steps to success.

Failure is experiential education at work. To be a real winner in life you need to endure failure and the agony it produces. Success is achieved when you are willing to take risks and lose. Most people choose to engage in occupations and activities that are safe and predictable. If you enjoy that, do the very best you can and enjoy each day. For many people, those occupations don’t deliver satisfaction, fulfillment, or joy in living. If you find yourself in that position, then for you, failure is not to move in the directions of your dreams. If you desire something more, then take action, “Decide whether or not the goal is worth the risks involved. If it is, stop worrying and pursue your dreams, or you will only fail by taking no action.”

Stepping Stone #8 – Failure provides experiential education.

Failure can be a weapon. We can learn discipline through failures. It allows us to sharpen ourselves against the grindstone of failure. We do not need to make excuses for failure. We need to allow it to be the weapon of determination to succeed. Although you might fail incredibly, you might succeed incredibly, and that’s why incredible risk and courage are required. Fail or succeed, either way, you’ll learn more than ever about your strengths, talents, and resolve, and you’ll strengthen your will for the next challenge. “Sharpen your success weapons on the grindstone of failure.”

Stepping Stone #9 – Use failure as your weapon to succeed.

Failure programs you for success. Every failure has a built-in mechanism to auto-correct and reprogram you for success. Therefore, think of failures as a way of programming you to improve and succeed. When we fail, we naturally activate the auto-correct mechanism that provides us with the tools needed to work successfully the next time. “You’ve got to keep finding better ways to run your life, or someone will take what you’ve accomplished, improve upon it, and be very pleased with the results.”

Stepping Stone #10 – Program failures into success.

Let’s continue with a practical lesson from the Scriptures on how failures resulted in success. In last week’s Wisdom Notes, we left off with Moses’ father-in-law, Jethro, rebuking him for how he was handling the administration of cases that were brought before him for judgment. Up until this point Moses was handling the entire workload himself – sounds like something I would attempt.

Let’s continue the story in Exodus 18:19-23, “Now listen to me, and let me give you a word of advice, and may God be with you. You should continue to be the people’s representative before God, bringing their disputes to him. Teach them God’s decrees, and give them his instructions. Show them how to conduct their lives. But select from all the people some capable, honest men who fear God and hate bribes. Appoint them as leaders over groups of one thousand, one hundred, fifty, and ten. They should always be available to solve the people’s common disputes, but have them bring the major cases to you. Let the leaders decide the smaller matters themselves. They will help you carry the load, making the task easier for you. If you follow this advice, and if God commands you to do so, then you will be able to endure the pressures, and all these people will go home in peace.”

Notice the wise advice from Jethro to solve the issue of Moses. Moses was floundering and struggling with keeping up with the workload. You might say he was failing in his ability to handle the situation.

Jethro’s first advice to Moses was to let him know that he is still in charge and responsible for what goes on, but he does not have to do all the work himself. In fact, we already saw that he was not capable of doing so. He instructed Moses to teach others to handle the matters of dispute, except the very major ones. But Moses had to make sure that he chose not only capable men but also honest men who would execute the laws properly. You can see from these instructions that most modern societies have their court systems patterned after these suggestions.

In next week’s Wisdom Notes we will see if Moses took Jethro’s advice as we explore Stepping Stones 11-15 on our journey to turn failure into success.

Life is Like Being a Farmer

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Like A Farmer

In our Wisdom Notes this week let us onto the trail as we are in search of that hidden treasure called wisdom. This treasure is readily available, but few seek for it as if seeking for gold, silver, or precious jewels. If we desire to be joyful, we must seek for wisdom as Proverbs 3:13-15 tells us,

Joyful is the person who finds wisdom,
the one who gains understanding.
For wisdom is more profitable than silver,
and her wages are better than gold.
Wisdom is more precious than rubies;
nothing you desire can compare with her.

Come along with me again this week in your mind and visualize our trail, we once again come across an overlook and down in the valley we see the farmers busy at the harvest.  This scene reminds me of how wise it would be if we all would think like a farmer.

“The more we increase our ability to observe, learn, and understand, the wiser we will become.”

Thinking Like a Farmer

One of the difficulties we face in our industrialized and technology-driven age is the fact we’ve lost our sense of seasons. Unlike the farmer whose priorities change with the seasons, we have become impervious to the natural rhythm of life. As a result, we have our priorities out of balance. Let me illustrate what I mean:

For a farmer, springtime is his most active time. It’s then when he must work around the clock, rising before the sun and still toiling at the stroke of midnight. He must keep his equipment running at full capacity because he has but a small window of time for the planting of his crop. Summer is busy, making sure that the crops are growing properly, but it is also a time of patient waiting. God is ultimately in control of the weather during the crucial growth months, so the farmer has to wait and pray.  During the fall, it is once again a frantic time for harvesting within a small window of opportunity, hopefully resulting with an abundant crop.  Eventually, winter comes when there is less for him to do to keep him busy.

Every farmer knows that you can’t sow and reap on the same day. There is a timetable for your harvest that requires both working and waiting. Patience is a small price to pay for what you will receive.

There is a lesson here. Learn to use the seasons of life. Decide when to pour it on and when to ease back, when to take advantage and when to let things ride. It’s easy to keep working 10-12 hour days, year in and year out, and lose a natural sense of priorities and cycles. Don’t let one year blend into another in a seemingly endless parade of tasks and responsibilities. Keep your eye on your own seasons, lest you lose sight of value and substance.

Proverbs 23:3-5 encourages us to be careful of the continuous pursuit of wealth:

Don’t wear yourself out trying to get rich.
Be wise enough to know when to quit.
In the blink of an eye wealth disappears,
for it will sprout wings
and fly away like an eagle.

As we consider thinking like a farmer, we must realize that most of us will not be farming full time. So let’s continue on our trail and consider another point which is how to overcome a great challenge on our trek of life.

The Great Challenge of Life

Here’s one of the great challenges of life…You can have more than you currently have because you can become more than you currently are.

I have found that income seldom will exceed your own personal development. Once in a while income takes a lucky jump, but unless you personally grow out to where it is, it will go back to where you are. It has been predicted in studies that if you took all the money in the world and divided it among everyone equally, it would soon be back in the same pockets. Regardless of whether that is actually true, on an individual level, you can have more because you can become more. You see, here is how the other side of the coin reads…Unless you change how you are, you will always have what you currently have. Creating a plan won’t work for you. It may be a good plan, but it won’t work without you. You’ve got to work it. It is the human effort that counts. The major thing that makes the difference is what YOU do.

Proverbs 21:5 teaches us to plan, but then to take action, “Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity, but hasty shortcuts lead to poverty.”

In order to have more, you need to become more. One person may say “If I had a good job, I would really pour it on, but I have this lousy job so I just goof off.” If that is your philosophy, you are destined to stay there.

You may have said, if I had a lot of money, I would be really generous, but I don’t have much so I’m not generous.  See, you’ve got to change that philosophy, or you will never have an accumulation of wealth. Unless YOU change, your situation won’t change. Amazingly, however, when you throw out your blame list and start becoming more yourself, the difference is everything else will begin to change around you.  An enterprising person is one who sees opportunity in all areas of life.

Thinking like a farmer and overcoming great challenges of life are two great nuggets of wisdom to consume for this week. Next week we will search for more of these precious nuggets that are more valuable than gold as we discover that life is about taking action.