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The Habit of Forming Habits – Part 1

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I actually work better with a set schedule based on the routines and habits that I have established over the years. I enjoy rising early and having my exercise and devotional/meditation time before breakfast because it sets the tone for the entire day of productivity. Habits are part of everyone’s life. We just need to make sure that they are positive and productive habits.

In our next two Wisdom Notes, we will explore the habit of habit formation. This may be very difficult for some because habit formation takes time and perseverance. Fortunately, there are some clear principles to form and maintain habits. There is a comprehensive path for setting habits in our lives, and if followed, we can form good habits, as we get rid of those that are bad.

A few years ago I had the opportunity to attend a trial where the defendant had shackles on his ankles and wrist, and it was very evident that it was difficult, very slow, and painful for him to walk. In the same way, if we have shackles of bad habits impacting our lives, it will hold us back, and we will never be able to fulfill our God-given potential until we are freed from these bad habits.

It is very important to realize that if we desire to rid ourselves of bad habits in any area of our lives that we must at the same time form new, positive habits, or we will just fall back into the same routine and never be free of the shackles that restrict us. Remember that one key law of life is that when we say “no” to one choice, we are automatically saying “yes” to another. This applies to habits also.

This reminds me of the story that Jesus told when the religious leaders of his day accused him of casting out demons by the power of Satan. As I read this passage from Luke [11:24]-26, where Jesus speaks of evicting demons from people, let’s use the comparison of the demons being bad habits in our lives. Many times we do refer to our bad habits as our demons.

“When an evil spirit leaves a person, it goes into the desert, searching for rest. But when it finds none, it says, ‘I will return to the person I came from.’ So it returns and finds that its former home is all swept and in order. Then the spirit finds seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they all enter the person and live there. And so that person is worse off than before.”

The same principles apply to our habits as to the literal demons that Jesus cast out during His early ministry.

Next we will explore some research from habit creation specialist Leo Barbauta as we investigate of “The Four Habits that Form Habits.”

One of the biggest obstructions that we encounter on our quest to good habit formation is that we visualize what the destination should be and we become overwhelmed to the point of paralysis, so we don’t make the changes needed.

When we do get motivated to change, at first we think that we can take large steps and make great strides. The trail is rather smooth and flat, and we want to rush ahead. That is until we reach the steep slope and we have already expended our energy. Then we have nothing else to give when it becomes difficult, so we stop and the old habits come rushing back into our lives.

As we explore the fundamentals of habits, we will cover four key guidelines to form habits. If you can learn these four habits, you’ll have the foundation to form pretty much any habit. Let’s start with the first.

Habit Guideline #1: Start Exceedingly Small

Let us look at a couple of practical examples.

Let’s say you want to work out more, but you have a hard time forming the habit. Most people have this issue. From having to get dressed in order to go to the gym to actually go to the gym to the thought of a hard workout, your mind tends to put off the habit.

The solution is exceedingly simple. The first day just do 3 push-ups in the privacy of your home or walk/jog for just one minute. Make it so easy you can’t say no. You may think, “Now, Guthrie, that is just plain ridiculous. Anyone can walk for a minute or do three push-ups.” You will think that’s too easy, and tell yourself that you have to do more than that.

Unfortunately, it’s this mindset that causes people to fail at habits. We think we can do more, despite past evidence to the contrary, and so we aspire to greatness. We try to climb Everest before we’ve learned to walk.

Learn the fundamentals of habits before you try to do the advanced skills. If I could convince people of that, I could get millions to change their habits, be healthier, simplify, procrastinate less, and start creating amazing things.

Another common habit that too few people actually do is flossing their teeth daily. So, my advice is just flossing one tooth the first night. Of course, that seems so ridiculous you may laugh. But I’m totally serious. If you start out exceedingly small, you won’t say no. You’ll feel crazy if you don’t do it. So, you’ll actually do it! That’s the point. Actually doing the habit is much more important than how much you do.

If you want to exercise, it’s more important that you actually do the exercise on a regular basis rather than doing enough to get a benefit right away. Sure, maybe you need 30 minutes of exercise to see some fitness improvements, but try doing 30 minutes a day for two weeks without missing. See how far you get, if you haven’t been exercising regularly. Then, if you don’t succeed, try 1-2 minutes a day. See how far you get there.

If you can do two weeks of 1-2 minutes of exercise, you have a strong foundation for a habit. Add another week or two, and the habit is almost ingrained. Once the habit is strong, you can gradually add a few minutes each week. Soon you’ll be doing 30 minutes on a regular basis even though you started out really small.

I regularly exercise for at least an hour every morning, including a HIIT training, pull-ups, push-ups and crunches…but I did not start with an hour of intense running, I worked up to it gradually. I also gradually added getting up a few minutes earlier to compensate for the extra time needed to run and exercise. One important factor in ensuring success is to prepare ahead of time. For instance, I lay out all of my exercise clothes the night before, so that I am ready to get dressed in them in the morning.

Want to start a good habit? Try the flossing habit. Try to floss every tooth every night, and see how far you get. You might succeed, but if you fail, try just one tooth per night and see how far you get. Your extent will vary, but on average most people get farther with a habit when they start small.

One glass of water a day. One extra vegetable. Three push-ups. One sentence of writing a day. Two minutes of meditation. This is how you start a habit that lasts. Start small and gradually build from there. Remember that life is a marathon, not a sprint.

As we implement the “Four Habits that Form Habits” in our lives, we are learning that habit formation is not that difficult, but how we approach it makes it difficult.

Hiking with a Limp – Part 3

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In this Wisdom Note, we continue our exploration of the trails of life that help us to understand how best to hike with a limp. I love life, and each day I endeavor to make the choice to live it in a rich and satisfying way. I realize that some days are more difficult to do so. Sometimes the rough and rugged trails that we have to navigate are difficult enough in themselves, but if we have to deal with a limp, or something that impedes us, it becomes challenging to take that next step.

In order to set the stage for the exploration of our trails this week, let’s look at someone else from the Bible that had to overcome obstacles to carry on. In his 2nd letter to the church in Corinth, the Apostle Paul reveals a struggle that he had.

This can be found in Chapter 12 verses 7 through 10, “Even though I have received such wonderful revelations from God. So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

We see that Paul made the choice to accept his weakness, and even take pleasure in it. That brings us to Trail #5.

Trail #5 – You can choose.

While we don’t generally choose to suffer, we can choose how we respond to it. Only in our co-operative surrender does God have the freedom to mold us in His likeness. We do not stand outside of our being created; there is a decision, a will, and a choice to be made.

  1. If then we choose to be willing participants in the process that suffering takes us through, what can we discover?
  2. If we choose to expect to find God in the dark and desolate trails of our suffering, will we discover that hope and meaning is found in the midst of our suffering?
  3. How can we gain wisdom through suffering?

In his book Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl would say this is possible and even essential for us to navigate periods of suffering well. He puts it this way, “The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity – even under the most difficult circumstances – to add a deeper meaning to his life.”

Frankl tells us just how vitally important our response to unavoidable suffering is when we choose to change ourselves when faced with suffering that we cannot change. This is when our suffering can become a tool in God’s transforming work in our lives. For Christians, it is as we remind ourselves of the purposes of God in the midst of our suffering and take hold of the comfort that He never leaves us or forsakes us that we find meaning, hope, and endurance for our most difficult times.

Sometimes suffering comes from choices that we have made in our lives, and as much as possible, we need to correct our actions and attempt to reverse those choices. But, there are other times that suffering is completely outside of ourselves, and we need to choose to endure and allow the suffering to transform us into God’s likeness.

Trail #6 – You are not alone.

Suffering will come, but you are not alone. Once we come to a place of knowing that God is with us, regardless of how we feel or what we’re going through, we can also acknowledge our need for others.

When we are going through the hard things in life, it is tempting to withdraw from others and hunker down, but that works against us. We need to look for and ask for help from anyone who can support us in our hard seasons. This may be our doctor, our counselor, our immediate family, and it most certainly should include our church family.

It is so difficult to tell others that we are suffering and yet people’s loving response and ongoing practical and prayer support is what will give us the strength to carry on. We need one another. We aren’t built to live alone. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 reminds, “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”

Trail #7 – You aren’t disqualified.

We need to remember that we’re in good company. God has made a practice of using people that hike with a limp. If you think about it, they are all that are available to Him. No matter what our struggles are, none of us is disqualified from loving Him and serving Him and His people with whatever we can bring to Him.

Let’s not be afraid of hiking with a limp. It’s a reminder of our encounters with God and with the realities of life. Let’s choose to embrace the transformative process that God uses in our hard times and grow deeper into being His people marked by humility and faith.

As one of Jesus’s closest friends, Peter wrote in his 1st letter Chapter 1 verses 6 and 7, “So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold — though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.”

We have completed the 7 trails of hiking with a limp which were: perspective, planning, building, seasons, choice, togetherness, and qualification. This gives us what we need to know to carry on each day, even through struggles.

Hiking with a Limp – Part 2

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In our previous Wisdom Note, we looked at the story of Jacob when he wrestled with God and his name was changed to Israel. Although God’s original call to start a new nation was to Jacob’s grandfather Abraham, with Jacob, who is now Israel, the new nation started to take shape. This wrestling match left Jacob with a limp that he would be inflicted with the remainder of his life as a reminder of being set apart to prepare for and build this new nation.

As we head out to explore new trails today, we realize that it will be very difficult to take this strenuous hike with a permanent limp or other disability, so we will have to be prepared for the journey. Preparation can come in many forms, but for our this trek, let us take our rehabilitation instructions from Hebrews 12:1-3 & 12-13.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up.”

“So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong.”

In this passage, we see that in order to learn and adapt to our limps in life, we need training and discipline. This does not mean that we will completely recover from our limps or be without pain, but it does mean that we will learn to live with both and still live the rich and satisfying life that Jesus promised us.

So, let’s hike on our new trails for today.

Trail #2 – Are you prepared?

Our culture does little to prepare and equip us for hard things. We live in a culture designed to maximize our comfort and pleasure, celebrate these vanities, and distract us from what is real and lasting. If we take a look at what we’re sold by the media, we should expect life to be as easy as possible – filled with things that entertain and delight us and that ensure we live hassle-free lives.

From this perspective, pain is something to be avoided or ignored as much as possible. In reality, however, this is not how people actually live. We may be cushioned from the impact of suffering and pain for long periods in our lives, but inevitably we are forced to come face-to-face with the harsh and often crushing realities of real and unavoidable heartbreak. God may not allow us to become too comfortable. He knows that many of us will turn from Him if we become too comfortable, which isn’t good for us. Martin Luther, the 16th-century Protestant reformer, encourages us that going through “trials and temptations can be a blessing when they undermine our pride and our reliance upon ourselves and teach us to put our trust in God’s mercy and goodness.”

So, where do we go to learn how to wrestle with life’s challenges well? How do we equip ourselves to face and deal with life’s pain and suffering in a way that enables us to retain our sense of dignity and our faith in God where eventually we can emerge from the valley of the shadow of death in good shape? How do we prepare ourselves to be able to do this when our hearts, minds, spirits, and bodies are crushed under the weight of pain and suffering that can sweep into our lives without warning? We look for a place of hope and truth ahead of time.

Trail #3 – Build well.

We need a preemptive strategy. When you visit ancient towns and cities, particularly in Europe or the Middle East, you often see large fortified city walls protectively surrounding the area. These were an essential piece of fortification and safety for these cities and their people during times when they were under siege.

What we often fail to consider is that these walls were built during times of peace, when life was good. We need to build well when life is good. This is the time to invest in our key relationships – with God and others.

This is the time to dig deeply into prayer, worship, and scripture. It’s here that we find examples, from Jesus and his disciples and others in scripture, of suffering and wrestling in ways that bring hope and life and are firmly anchored in the goodness of God. When life is good, that’s the time to cultivate life-giving habits that will help sustain us when we are stretched. We must anchor ourselves in truly believing that God is good and that He loves us.

Then, when we are in the thick of things and life is just plain tough, there are a few things that can help us.

Trail #4 – Remember it’s only for a season.

God knows we need constant reminders of His goodness and involvement in our lives, so He has given us many in scripture and in the way He has orchestrated the rhythms of nature and history.

I have found Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 incredibly encouraging in which we’re told all things in this life have a season. They don’t last forever. There is “A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance,” (v. 4).

Nature reminds us of this truth also. We would not experience the bursting of life in spring without the seemingly lifeless winter season. No matter how long a season of suffering can feel, or indeed is, the season will pass.

So far we have explored the trails of perspective, planning, building, and seasons. On our next hike, we will explore the trails of choice, togetherness, and qualification and continue our trek with a limp.

Hiking with a Limp – Part 1

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I had never had a broken bone, nor had any other significant issues with my body, but that all changed last year when I fell from a ladder while cutting a limb out of a tree with a chainsaw. Unfortunately, I landed on a cement walkway on my left hip, fracturing the femur bone below the hip socket. I was fortunate that the accident with a chainsaw was not significantly worse, and that those who were helping me were not injured either.

While the rehabilitation and healing was faster than most people experience, I am reminded nearly every moment of the day and most nights that my femur bone still has a rod from my hip to my knee and also two very large screws. There is pain, and at times a limp, that helps to remind me of the accident, but more importantly how God protected me from a much more serious outcome. Although after two years I may choose to have the inserts removed, I suspect that the pain, and possible limp, may remain for many years.

In this Wisdom Note, we will consider what it means to trek through life with a limp.
All of us go through trials and tribulations in life that can leave us with a limp that affects us throughout our lives. This can be a very humbling and refining process for us. From a figurative standpoint, ask yourself, “What has caused me to limp, and what have I learned from it?” Has this situation changed who you are? For me I will never combine a ladder and chainsaw in the same environment again.

There is a saying that we should “Never trust a leader who doesn’t walk with a limp.” This saying comes from the story of the start of the nation of Israel and is recorded in the Bible in the book of Genesis Chapter 32 verses 22-32 where Jacob, the grandson of Abraham and son of Isaac, wrestled with God. This is the story:

“During the night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two servant wives, and his eleven sons and crossed the Jabbok River with them. After taking them to the other side, he sent over all his possessions. This left Jacob all alone in the camp, and a man came and wrestled with him until the dawn began to break. When the man saw that he would not win the match, he touched Jacob’s hip and wrenched it out of its socket. Then the man said, ‘Let me go, for the dawn is breaking!’ But Jacob said, ‘I will not let you go unless you bless me.’ ‘What is your name?’ the man asked. He replied, ‘Jacob.’ ‘Your name will no longer be Jacob,’ the man told him. ‘From now on you will be called Israel, because you have fought with God and with men and have won.’ ‘Please tell me your name,’ Jacob said. ‘Why do you want to know my name?’ the man replied. Then he blessed Jacob there. Jacob named the place Peniel (which means ‘face of God’), for he said, ‘I have seen God face to face, yet my life has been spared.’ The sun was rising as Jacob left Peniel, and he was limping because of the injury to his hip. (Even today the people of Israel don’t eat the tendon near the hip socket because of what happened that night when the man strained the tendon of Jacob’s hip.)”

At the end of Jacob’s all-night struggle, God touched the socket of Jacob’s hip and damaged it so that from that time forward Jacob always walked with a limp. This encounter with God changed him in other ways too. He got a new name and moved into a new phase of his life. He was now fit to lead a new nation that exists to this very day.

There is a remarkable quality that can come from the lives of people after they have wrestled with God or life’s issues, and the resulting limp is a sign to themselves and to others that God has humbled them.

We have some pithy little statements that we throw about, like “When life sends you lemons, make lemonade.” It makes tough times sound so easy, but life isn’t always so simple. Lightweight phrases do little to recognize the challenges we wrestle with.

I was on the wrestling team in high school, so I understand firsthand how strenuous and difficult physical wrestling can be. It requires a lot of discipline to develop skill and agility, sacrifice to burn off fat, and determination to promote muscle growth, strength, and focus, which is required to become refined enough to be victorious.

Paula and I have also had to wrestle with life’s issues in the form of business loss, financial downturns, the death of loved ones who were very close to us, moving for work, a granddaughter with leukemia, and my broken femur bone that we would have never chosen ourselves. All of these experiences and others have been a refining fire in our lives to burn off that which is impure so that the fine gold could become evident, and we realize that there may be other times of such trials in our future.

All of us experience seasons of wrestling, testing, discipline, and sifting, such as is described in the book of Hebrews 12:1-13. We may wrestle with health issues, financial stress, depression, relational difficulties, brokenness, failure, loss, grief, and desert-type seasons in our lives and spiritual journey. If we don’t anticipate and expect it, we will be surprised and confused when it comes. For the next few days, we will travel on some key trails as we prepare ourselves for these seasons of life.

We begin with the first trail.

Trail #1 – Perspective is everything.

Our perspective of the place of sickness, pain, and challenges in our lives probably needs some thought. We are well served if we take some time to develop healthy theology around pain and the hard things in the life of a Christ follower. As John Wimber frequently said, “If our theology doesn’t work in real life, then we need to rethink our theology.”

When we experience difficult seasons, it doesn’t mean God isn’t present or has stopped loving us. It doesn’t necessarily mean we lack faith or have brought this upon ourselves through doing something wrong. Following Jesus doesn’t exclude us from encountering pain and challenges in our lives. In fact, we are told in scripture to expect it.

A robust theology equips us with the knowledge and expectation that when pain comes, God walks with us through it.

These difficult realities are part of living in the now and not fully experiencing His kingdom. They are also a reminder of God’s commitment to us as His children so that we grow up into Him. Our perspective is important because it affects how we respond to hard things.

Will we see these seasons as a reminder of God’s lordship and loving activity in our lives that can lead us to greater intimacy with Him, or will we see it as evidence of His absence and lack of love, which leads to bitterness, fear, and isolation from Him and others?

CS Lewis reminds us that, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”

Pain and suffering can help us put things in perspective, value what is truly valuable, and be transformative tools in God’s hands.

We have barely scratched the surface of our trek that we embarked on this week, but that is the end of this trail.

10 Principles to Make Wise Decisions – Part 3

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In this Wisdom Note, we will continue our series about making wise decisions. As humans, most of us are resistant and hesitant to change as we are comfortable with the habits that we have formed over our lifetimes. Habits can be both good and bad. One good habit that we want to foster in our lives is that of making wise decisions.

As with any skill in life, making wise decisions comes with practice and experience. C.S. Lewis said it well when he said, “Good and evil both increase at compound interest. That is why the little decisions you and I make every day are of such infinite importance.”

Since it is our desire to make wise decisions in all that we do, our 10 waypoints on this wisdom trail will help us to choose wisdom instead of folly in our decision-making. So, let’s continue this week and finish our wise decision-making trail with waypoints 7 through 10. Because of my faith walk, I will base our discussions of decision-making on Biblical principles.

7. Have I Honestly Considered the Warning Signs?

When we desire to make a particular decision, we tend to highlight the benefits and minimize the potential bad outcomes. Making wise decisions requires that we are honest with our advisors and ourselves. Take into consideration all the good advice that you have solicited. If those advisors have your best interest at heart, then their advice must be considered.

Proverbs 10:17, “People who accept discipline are on the pathway to life, but those who ignore correction will go astray.”

Proverbs 16:25, “There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death.”

Proverbs 27:6, “Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.”

Points to consider:

  • Don’t think you are the “exception” to the rule. There are certain principles in life that are true for all persons. If a decision is not wise for someone else, be very cautious in thinking that it is okay for you. (self-delusion)
  • Remember that God’s way is the best way. If there are warning signs, then no amount of justification will make the decision right. It is one thing to take a chance and quite another to be stupid. Sometimes that is a fine line.

8. Have I Considered the Possible Outcomes for My Course of Action?

When making decisions, especially major ones, it is best to make a list of all possible outcomes from this decision. Write them down, with potential benefits on one side and potential negatives on the other. Don’t forget to take in lost opportunities that will result in a “side effect” of this decision. For instance, if the decision involves a monetary purchase, you need to consider what other items you will not be able to purchase because of this decision. No decision is made in a vacuum. If you are saying yes to one choice, by default you are saying no to something else.

Proverbs 14:1, “A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.”

Proverbs 14:15, “Only simpletons believe everything they’re told! The prudent carefully consider their steps.”

Proverbs 27:12, “A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.”

Points to consider:

  • Take into consideration all information that will be impacted by this decision. Don’t rationalize your desires.
  • Assess the potential risks. There are negative potential outcomes for every decision made. “Yes” to this decision means “no” to another.
  • Have a contingency plan. If everything just went wrong based on the decision made, what are your plans that will allow you to survive?

9. Could This Decision Jeopardize My Integrity or Hinder My Witness for the Lord?

Never make a decision that has the potential to hurt your reputation, hinder your integrity, or destroy your character. There is nothing in life that is worth obtaining if it will tarnish who you are as a person, especially as a person of faith.

Proverbs 25:26, “If the godly give in to the wicked, it’s like polluting a fountain or muddying a spring.”

Proverbs 10:9, “People with integrity walk safely, but those who follow crooked paths will be exposed.”

Proverbs 20:7, “The godly walk with integrity; blessed are their children who follow them.”

Proverbs 22:1, “Choose a good reputation over great riches; being held in high esteem is better than silver or gold.”

Points to consider:

  • As with most principles of life, when it comes to making wise decisions, you need to remain balanced without going to extremes in your decision-making.
  • Make sure you do not make any decisions that would soil your reputation. Would you want this decision published on the front page of the newspaper or social media post?
  • Don’t keep a record of wrongs committed by others, it will have a negative impact on the wise decisions that you need to make.

10. Is There A Better Option That Would Allow Me to Make A Greater Impact for God’s Kingdom?

As mentioned at waypoint #8, for every decision or choice we say yes to, we are saying no to something else. Ask yourself, “Is this decision that I am making the best choice or option for me at this season in life?” A decision that may not be wise today, could be wise 20 years from now. For every decision, always ask “Is this the best and wisest decision that I can make for today considering this season of life?”

Proverbs 11:30, “The seeds of good deeds become a tree of life; a wise person wins friends.”

Ecclesiastes 3:1, “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.”

Points to consider:

  • Ask yourself, “What story could God be writing?”
  • Don’t assume that just because something is hard that it is not God’s will.
  • Understand how God has uniquely gifted and resourced you.

We have explored the 10 waypoints that will help you to make wise decisions every day for every situation that you encounter. Next week we will learn the advantages of walking with a limp. Based on my experience this past year, I will have some practical advice.