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Creating a Legacy ™

7 Steps to Become a Person of Influence

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The many life activities in which Paula and I are involved and the clients with whom we work are a result of choices that we have made over the years. An important attribute that I desire for my life is to be a person of influence. I feel certain that almost everyone would like to have a positive influence on the lives of others. In order to do so, you may have to make some changes in your life. Changes require that we make difficult choices at times. The choices that we have made in our lives up to this point determine the situation that we find ourselves in.

So, let me ask a couple of questions…Do you desire to become a person of influence? What changes in your life will be required in order to reach that position? In this note, we will hike the trails of choice and look for the seven signposts that are crucial for becoming a person of influence.

Change Begins with Choice

Any day you wish, you can discipline yourself to change your life. Any day you wish, you can open a book that will open your mind to new knowledge. Any day you wish, you can start a new activity. Any day you wish, you can start the process of life change. You can do it immediately, or next week, or next month, or next year. Zig Ziglar put it this way, “Before you change your thinking, you have to change what goes into your mind.”

You can also do nothing. You can pretend rather than perform. If the idea of having to change yourself makes you uncomfortable, you can remain as you are. You can choose rest over labor, entertainment over education, delusion over truth, and doubt over confidence. The choices are yours to make. But while you may desire change, you must be willing to make the choice to change. As Ecclesiastes 10:2 says, “A wise person chooses the right road; a fool takes the wrong one.”

The current situation of your life is largely based on past choices. You have both the ability and the responsibility to make better choices beginning today. Those who are in search of the good life do not need more answers or more time to think things over to reach better conclusions. They need the truth. They need the whole truth. And they need nothing but the truth.

You cannot allow your errors in judgment, repeated every day, to lead you down the wrong path. You must keep coming back to those basics that make the biggest difference in how your life works out. And then you must make the very choices that will bring about a rich and satisfying life.

And, if I may be so bold to offer a piece of advice for someone seeking and needing to make changes in life…If you don’t like how things are, change them! You’re not a tree. You have the ability to totally transform every area in your life, and it all begins with your very own power of choice.

Once you have made the necessary changes, if needed, then you can become a person of influence.

Be a Person of Influence

If you want to be a person of influence and have a positive impact on the lives of others, the key is to become a person of quality yourself. As a person of influence, you will have the ability to impact others with the gifts, skills, and opportunities you offer. To continually impact others positively is a challenge and requires certain qualities that many people lack.

What’s important in becoming a person of influence is refining your skills. You must keep working on yourself until you become effective. Let’s look at the seven signposts that will help you in becoming a person of influence.

  1. Learn to be strong but not impolite. It is an extra step you must take to become a powerful, capable influencer with a wide range of reach. Some people mistake rudeness for strength. It’s not a good substitute.
  2. Learn to be kind but not weak. You must not mistake weakness for kindness. Kindness isn’t weak. Kindness is a certain type of strength. You must be kind enough to tell someone the truth. You must be kind enough and considerate enough to lay it on the line. You must be kind enough to tell it like it is and not deal in delusion.
  3. Learn to be bold but not a bully. It takes boldness to win the day. To build your influence, you will have to lead others at times. You have to be willing to sacrifice, tackle the problem, and discover the first sign of trouble. Like the farmer, if you want any rewards at harvest time, you have to be bold and face the weeds and the rain and the bugs straight on. You’ve got to seize the moment.
  4. Learn to be humble but not timid. You can’t become an influencer by being too timid. Some people mistake timidity for humility. But humility is a virtue; timidity is a disease. It’s an affliction. It can be cured, but it is a problem. Humility is almost a God-like word—a sense of awe, a sense of wonder, an awareness of the human soul and spirit, an understanding that there is something unique about the human drama versus the rest of life. Humility is a grasp of the distance between us and the stars, yet having the feeling that we’re part of the stars. James 4:10 tells us to, “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor.”
  5. Learn to be proud but not arrogant. It takes pride or confidence in yourself to be a person of influence. It takes pride in your tribe. It takes pride in a cause, in accomplishment. But the key to becoming an effective influencer is to be proud without being arrogant. Do you know the worst kind of arrogance? Arrogance from ignorance. It’s intolerable. If someone is smart and arrogant, we may tolerate that. But if someone is ignorant and arrogant, that’s just too much to take.
  6. Learn to develop humor without folly. When influencing others, you learn that it’s okay to be witty but not silly; fun but not foolish.
  7. Learn to deal in realities. Deal in truth. Save yourself the agony of delusion. Just accept life as it is—the whole drama of life. It’s fascinating.

Life is unique. Positive influence is unique. The skills that work well for one person of influence may not work at all for another. However, the fundamental skills of influence can be adapted to work well for just about everyone – at work, in the community, in church, and at home.

In this Wisdom Note, we hiked the trail of choice and studied the seven signposts to become a person of influence. Making wise but difficult choices in life allows us to positively influence and impact others.

Study to Show Yourself Approved

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There are so many benefits to our lives if we are willing to invest time into ourselves and the studies it requires for improving in all areas of life. It is unfortunate that a high percentage of people  never read or study a book the remainder of their lives upon graduation from high school or college. With the rapid changes in technology and global growth, if you are not willing to invest in yourself, you will soon be left behind with limited skills and abilities. In this Wisdom Note, let us explore the many benefits of continual study and improvement.

When I refer to books in today’s notes I am referring to physical, electronic, and audiobooks as well as any other types of online or offline articles and courses. All of the books that you will ever need to make you as rich, as healthy, as happy, as powerful, as sophisticated, and as successful as you want to be have already been written. They will provide you with the rich and satisfying life that is written of in John 10:10. Always keep in mind that when Scripture refers to a rich and satisfying life, it has little to do with material wealth although that could be a facet of it if we keep it in proper perspective.

People from all walks of life, people with some of the most incredible life experiences, and people who have gone from pennies to fortune and from failure to success have taken the time to write down their experiences so that you might share in their wealth of knowledge. They have offered their wisdom and experience so that you can be inspired and instructed by it and allow it to amend your philosophy. Their contributions enable you to change the trails of life that you hike based upon their experiences. They have handed you the gift of their insights so that you can change your plans, if need be, in order to avoid their errors. You can rearrange your lives based on their wise advice.

All of the insights that you might ever need have already been captured by others in books. The important question is this: In the last ninety days, with this treasure of information that could change your lives, your fortunes, your relationships, your health, your children, and your careers for the better, how many books have you read? With a plethora of information at your finger tips at little or no cost, there are no excuses.

Why do we neglect to read the books that can change our lives? Why do we complain but remain the same? Why do so many of us curse the effect but nourish the cause? How do we explain the fact that only a small percent of our entire world population that have access to libraries or the internet actually spend the time improving themselves through self-study? The opportunity is there for us to access all of the answers to success, happiness, and knowledge we could ever want. Those who wish for a better life cannot permit themselves to miss the books and other materials that could have a major impact on how their lives turn out. The books you don’t study will not help you!

The issue is not that books and study materials are too expensive! If you conclude that the price of buying the book is too great, wait until you must pay the price for not buying it. Wait until you receive the bill for continued and prolonged ignorance.

There is very little difference between someone who cannot read and someone who will not read. The result of either is ignorance. Those who are serious seekers of personal development must remove the self-imposed limitations they have placed on their reading/studying skills and their reading/studying habits. There is a multitude of offline and online classes being taught continually on many topics, including how to be a good reader. There are thousands of books online or on the shelves of the public libraries just waiting to be read. Most will not cost you anything, except an investment of time. Reading is essential for those who seek to rise above the ordinary. You must not permit anything to stand between you and the books and study materials that could change your life.

A little reading or studying each day will result in a wealth of valuable information in a very short period of time. But if you fail to set aside the time, if you fail to read or listen to the books, if you fail to exercise the discipline, then ignorance will quickly move in to fill the void. Ignorance is not bliss. Ignorance is just ignorant. There is an enormous cost in remaining ignorant – a cost much higher than we will ever pay for wisdom and knowledge. There are no excuses.

If you seek a better life, you must first become a better person. You must continually seek after self-mastery for the purpose of developing a balanced philosophy of life, and then live in accordance with the dictates of that philosophy. The habit of reading/studying is a major stepping-stone in the development of a sound spiritual, emotional, physical, and philosophical foundation. And in my opinion, it is one of the fundamentals required for the attainment of success and happiness.

As a Christ follower, I firmly believe that the foundation of wisdom and knowledge comes from the Bible, and it will serve you very well to include it in your study time. As is written in Joshua 1:8, “Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.”

Life Is About Creating Your Opportunity

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In today’s Wisdom Note, let us consider that as we travel through life, we need the keen sense of ability and shrewdness to take ordinary or even sub-par situations and create opportunities from them. It is important to our overall success. We need to seize the day and the opportunities while they are available. As the Apostle Paul wrote in his letter to the church in Ephesus in chapter 5 verses 15-17, “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.”

So let’s first look at the wisdom nugget of…

Creating Your Opportunity

An enterprising person is one who comes across a pile of scrap metal and sees the making of a wonderful sculpture. An innovative person is one who drives through an old decrepit part of town and sees a new housing development. An ingenious person is one who sees opportunity in all areas of life.

To be resourceful is to keep your eyes open and your mind active. It’s to be skilled enough, confident enough, creative enough, and disciplined enough to seize opportunities that present themselves, regardless of the economy or other external situations.

A person with an enterprising attitude says, “Find out what you can before action is taken.” Do your homework. Do the research. Be prepared. Be resourceful. Do all you can in preparation for what is yet to come.

Enterprising people always see the future in the present. Enterprising people always find a way to take advantage of a situation, not be burdened by it. Enterprising people aren’t lazy. They don’t wait for opportunities to come to them. They create opportunities. Enterprise means always finding a way to keep yourself actively working toward your ambition.

Enterprise is two things. The first is creativity. You need creativity to see what’s out there and to shape it to your advantage. You need creativity to look at the world a little differently. You need creativity to take a different approach and to be different.

What goes hand-in-hand with the creativity of enterprise? The courage to be creative is the second requirement. You need courage to see things differently, courage to go against the crowd, courage to take a different approach, courage to stand alone if you have to, and courage to choose activity over inactivity.

And lastly, being enterprising doesn’t just relate to the ability to make money. Being enterprising also means feeling good enough about yourself, having enough self-worth to want to seek advantages and opportunities that will make a difference in your future and the future of others. By doing so, you will increase your confidence, your courage, your creativity, and your self-worth, as well as your enterprising nature.

The next nugget of wisdom we want to explore today is…

Success IS Everything

Someone once said to me that success isn’t everything, and I think I know what they really meant. I believe they really meant that money wasn’t everything, and I certainly agree with that. But, I do believe that success IS everything.

First, you need to succeed to survive. We must take the seasons and learn how to use them with the seed, the soil, and the rain of opportunity to learn how to sustain ourselves and our family. But, second is to then succeed to flourish in every part of your life. A good question to ask mature people is “If you could do better, should you?” And, I think almost everybody would answer the question in the positive.

If you could improve your health, shouldn’t you do that? If you could learn more, shouldn’t you do that? If you could earn more and share more, shouldn’t you do that? If you could improve your relationships and spirituality, shouldn’t you do that? I think that is what success is really all about. It is not just a destination that is set for everybody to try and go for. It is like Zig Ziglar said, “Improving in every area of your life to see if you can’t with satisfaction at the end of the day, week, month and year and say ‘I have made excellent progress this year, for myself, for my family, for my business, my career, and my health.’” I think everybody recognizes that kind of success is legitimate and something we should all strive for.

The concept of success and reward is woven throughout the scriptures. It is usually tied to working hard and obeying God. Both of these attributes are attributes that we have control over, so the ability for success is within our control. Joshua 1:8 says, “Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.”

Proverbs 2:6-8 reminds, “For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He holds success in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.”

Ecclesiastes 10:10 states, “If the ax is dull and its edge unsharpened, more strength is needed, but skill will bring success.”

While we will never be completely successful in all areas of life, we can strive toward being more successful. It is in the striving to be a little bit better today than yesterday, in our speech, our language, our health, and in everything we can possibly think of that we find success.

So yes, in my opinion, it is good to succeed!

In this Wisdom Note, we consumed wisdom nuggets that taught us that we are responsible for creating our opportunities by being enterprising, resourceful, creative, and courageous. We also learned that when we have the proper concept of success, we should pursue it in everything that we do.

7 Trails to Create Opportunities

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As we head out on our trek this week, we want to shift our mindset from looking for opportunities to creating opportunities. There may be a fine line here, but if you are looking for opportunities, you are assuming that they are already available. Creating opportunities requires that we assemble the puzzle pieces of our life in order to create the opportunities that we desire. As we create these opportunities, we want to look at the 7 trails that will make a significant impact on our world each day.

Come along with me and imagine that we pass by a beautiful clear lake nestled in the mountains, and it provides us a time to consider our ability to impact everyone that we meet, either in person or online. In order to create those opportunities we desire, we must be seekers and have an unquenchable hunger to be difference makers.

As I throw a huge rock into the lake, we see the ripples extending from it in ever-widening circles. In the same way, as we create opportunities, we will make an impact on our world that will send out never-ending ripples in our ever-widening circles of influence. This will allow us to “Be the change that you wish to see in the world,” as Mahatma Gandhi encouraged.

Honing your greatest talents and skills through your authentic message is the key to successful contributions as an opportunity creator, which will lead you to survive and thrive in the fast-changing world. By making new opportunities through these 7 trails that we are hiking this week, you have the capability of achieving immense accomplishments.

There is one caveat, though…To create real opportunities, you must focus on how others will also benefit from the opportunities that you create. None of us live in a vacuum. We must always be looking for ways to help others improve, and in doing so, we will also be creating positive opportunities for ourselves. As we explore these seven trails, I will first ask you a question, “What opportunities can we create together, and how can we accomplish this?”

1. Become an opportunity maker for others.

It is essential to become an opportunity maker for others first! Everything else will naturally flow and follow. Jesus said it this way in Luke 6:31, “Do to others as you would like them to do to you.”

2. Collaborate and provide support.

It is a true art to collaborate with people that act, think, and process information differently than we do! That is where the true magic takes place! The most beautifully sung songs are not when everyone is singing the same notes in unison but when each person is singing different notes in harmony. Paul wrote to the church in Romans 12:16, “Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!”

3. Connect with each other.

Truly and deeply connecting with another person is art. It can happen only when we are fully present, aware, and open, leaving any judgment aside. That is the moment when true greatness enters the room! Luke 6:37-38 puts it this way, “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven. Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.”

4. Express appreciation for others.

Appreciation is a simple yet profound concept that when only done genuinely can fully unfold. It will also allow others to appreciate you and all of your efforts more!

As Paul instructed Timothy in his second letter to him in Chapter 2 verse 24, “A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people.”

5. Share your story and connect with others.

The power of storytelling and sharing will not only assist you in connecting with others but create the safe space for others to share their stories and deep desires and passions. This sharing allows opportunity-making to grow at the speed of light. Jesus was a master storyteller such as this example in Mark 4:1-3, “Once again Jesus began teaching by the lakeshore. A very large crowd soon gathered around him, so he got into a boat. Then he sat in the boat while all the people remained on the shore. He taught them by telling many stories in the form of parables, such as this one: ‘Listen! A farmer went out to plant some seed.'”

6. Share your best thoughts and talents.

What are your best strengths and talents? This is an excellent starting point to discover and then hone those strengths and talents even further so that each one of us is fully ready to significantly contribute. In Paul’s letter to the church in Corinth, he describes the gifts that are given to each of us in Chapter 12 verse 7, “A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other.”

7. Think big ideas and concepts.

The world is indeed very hungry for people with big ideas, innovative minds, and new concepts that can make differences now! It is so powerful to observe the energy and synergy of a group of people in action while sharing their common interests and unique perspectives and opportunities. Paul in his letter to the church in Ephesus described it in this way in Chapter 3 verses 14 through 16, “When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit.”

As we have briefly explored these 7 trails on how to create opportunities in our lives and the lives of others, let us journey on and create a legacy – a legacy that matters! Be a legend in your legendary way.

Six Reflection Points for Life’s Transitions

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As we head out on this trek, we soon come to a split on the trail and find it difficult knowing which would be the best path to take. One leads upward through sparse growth but probably leads to a beautiful view at the summit. The other trail leads us downward into the valley where there is lush growth and a river flowing through it. Which trail to take?

These are the decisions that we must make in life. Most of the time our decisions will not be choices of a good trail over a bad trail, but which path to take when both seem equally attractive in their own way. When we come to a split in the trails of life or such transition points, how do we make the most of the decision that we do choose?

Major life transitions – moving to a new city, becoming a parent, deciding when to retire – can be an exciting and invigorating part of life if we view it in that manner. Yet transitions, even happy ones, can also be stressful and bring up mixed feelings. For most of us, change brings uncertainty and a certain measure of fear. This is natural, but we cannot allow fear to prevent us from moving forward.

Moving from a rural community or farm into a big city with its excitement and challenges can be a bit overwhelming. The first few weeks after the move is usually much more difficult than anticipated. Similarly, no matter how exciting getting pregnant and having a child is, the magnitude of this life transition can be mind boggling. Although I don’t plan on retiring any time soon, even the thought of not working the majority of my time makes me realize what a transition that will be for me when it arrives.

The best way to prepare for major transitions is to take some time for self-reflection. Use the following trail guide for six ways to help you embrace change and make the most of your new life trail.

1. Recognize that transitions are hard because they can shake your sense of identity.

We naturally define ourselves in part by our surroundings. When these surroundings change, it can be disorienting. Getting married changes your identity from a single person to a partner. Having a child changes your sense of identity from wife or daughter to now being a mother also. A new job changes your identity or role at work.

For example, it is exciting to get a promotion at work, but the new position has more responsibility. You may like this, but as a manager, you no longer have the peer team with whom you were previously working. This can lead to feeling overwhelmed. You may worry, “Am I really equipped for this job? Maybe I was better off before.”

It will take some time for you to rebuild your sense of identity in your new role. As you become more comfortable in your new duties and with new colleagues, your work identity will be reestablished.

2. Being in transition is a wonderful opportunity for growth.

Take a look at the parts of yourself and your life that you most value and consider how you can bring those parts of yourself into your new role. Next, look at the areas of yourself that you’d like to make changes to. Perhaps you’ve been neglectful of some important area of your life, such as your body, mind, or soul. Transitions are an opportunity to begin practicing new habits and ways of interacting with yourself and others. Enjoy the transition for growth, even when it seems a bit painful.

3. Remind yourself why you chose to make the change.

As you start onto a new trail in life and are feeling a little lost during the transition, it can be easy to regret your decision. Why didn’t I just stay on the trail I was comfortable with? When doubt creeps in, and it will, review the reasons you made your decision…I made this career change to further my skills and better utilize my abilities. When you see the big picture, it helps you move from feeling overwhelmed to understanding that this is a temporary adjustment, and while it’s difficult now, you are willing to go through some uncertainty and discomfort for the long-term gain.

4. Recall other times in your life when you’ve successfully dealt with transitions.

This is not the first new trail that you are on. What helped you get through another period of transition in your life? Looking back, how do you feel about the past decisions you’ve made? What were you proud of, and what would you have done differently? Reflecting on your past can help you make good and better decisions as you move forward.

5. When you’re in transition, it’s easy to become overly focused on yourself.

It is all too easy to become consumed with ourselves. One way to shift your focus is to look at others who may need your help. If you’re at work, it may be a coworker who you notice is having a bad day. If you’re in an exercise class, reach out to another person that seems like he is having a hard time. Making an effort to support others helps you remember that everyone struggles at times and that human connection can be a powerful aid in helping get through it.

As Paul’s letter to the church in Philippi mentioned in Chapter 2 verses 3 & 4, “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”

6. Part of what helps you feel secure in transition is having a support system.

Make an effort to stay connected. Keep in touch with your family, call up a friend who lives in the area you just moved to, volunteer or get involved in an organization, or ask a new coworker to join you for lunch. Find people who you can really talk to. Whether it’s a trusted friend or close family member, being able to share how you’re really feeling can be a tremendous source of strength for you.

As the writer of Hebrews put it in Chapter 1 verse 25, “And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.”

Now that we have explored the six reflection points of life, next we will explore the Trail of Opportunity.