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Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable

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The trails of life can be unknown and unpredictable at times. We need to understand that life is not always how we would like it to be, but it is always how it is. We may become very uncomfortable with the paths that we travel, so we need to choose to enjoy those journeys even in less than ideal conditions. Change makes all of us a bit uncomfortable, even if the outcome of that change is beneficial long-term. As our global community rapidly changes, as we eluded to yesterday, we must learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. That is the trail that we will travel together in today’s Wisdom Note.

This inspiring principle is actually taken from the Navy SEALS, as one of their mantras is “Get comfortable being uncomfortable.” Why is this so important? In your business and in your life, if you want to learn, grow, and succeed, you will have to go through a process of being uncomfortable to achieve growth. Anyone familiar with farming knows that in order to have a crop, the original seed is destroyed through the growth process. Also, Jesus confirms this principle in John 12:24, “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat is planted in the soil and dies, it remains alone. But its death will produce many new kernels — a plentiful harvest of new lives.”

“Growth and success in life only comes after you have pushed and challenged yourself.”

Let’s look at three practical examples:

  1. If you want to be physically fit, if you want to be healthy, or if you want to be somebody who has a lot of energy, what is required? You must exercise and work out on a regular basis. Many people go to a gym so they have the proper equipment and are able to stay focused. But, the gym is not somewhere you go for comfort. It’s somewhere you go to get really uncomfortable for an hour, or a half an hour, or maybe for some of you, a couple of hours. You are going to push yourself. You’re going to see how much weight you can lift, how long you can run, or how hard you can push your body. During that time it’s going to be wildly uncomfortable. But, on the back side of that discomfort is better health, better energy, and a better physical appearance.
  2. Tied to being physically fit, if you desire to be healthy, you must eat what is good and healthy for you, which will mean preparing your own meals using fresh, healthy, and whole foods. You’ll also have to turn away from comfort foods and other food items that may taste good as you are eating them but do major damage to your body, including the side effect of gaining weight. You have to be comfortable with feeling hungry and being uncomfortable until your body adapts to the new types of food that you consume.
  3. To be successful in business requires hard work, dedication, and, at times, long hours with very little reward. You have to stretch yourself and learn. You have to be willing to risk the rejection and receive a lot of “no” in order to get to the potential for a “yes.” The success is only going to come after you’ve stepped out of your comfort zone.

So, how do we prepare ourselves? How do we train to be uncomfortable so that we can actually get comfortable with our discomfort?

Learn Something New

Always push yourself to learn something new in any area of life. Maybe try learning how to cook differently or gradually work up from walking to running. Any time you push yourself, you’re stepping outside of your comfort zone in a particular area of life and starting to build success. As you start to have some success in that area, you can take what you’ve learned there and apply it to other areas of your life.

Recruit the Help of Others

Maybe it’s a coach, trainer, or an accountability partner. It’s somebody else who can help push you and who can help keep you accountable so that you don’t slip and fall on this new trail in your life. That person can also be right alongside you learning that same sport or that new hobby or that new skill at the same time as you so you’re pushing and motivating each other.

Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”

Break It Down

Sometimes when we step outside of our comfort zones, we can get really overwhelmed with everything we need to learn and everything we need to do. It can start to weigh us down, it can overwhelm any of us, no matter how adaptable to change we are. Navy Seal Mark Owen talks about this in his life when he got into the Navy SEAL boot camp. He says, “Man, I was so overwhelmed. But what I did is I broke everything down into small little bite-sized chunks. It was like, If I can make it to breakfast, I’ll be okay.” And when he got to breakfast, and he survived breakfast, he said, “Now I just need to make it to lunch.” And then, “Now I just need to make it to dinner.” And then after dinner was over, “I just have to do it again tomorrow.” He took it one day at a time, one step at a time. You don’t have to do it all right away.

Go For It

At some point, you just have to go for it. You’re just going to have to go all in. You can’t try this. You can’t keep going, “Well, I’ll just do a little bit here, a little bit there…” At some point, you’re just going to have to say “I’m in! I’m going to make this happen. I’m going to risk discomfort because this is something that I want and that is so important to me.” And when you do that, you’re going to find that you’re actually capable of so much more than you ever believed.

As we make progress on the uncomfortable trails of life, let’s follow the Apostle Paul’s words in his letter to the church in Rome in Chapter 5 verses 3-4, “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.”

So here’s what I want to leave you with. Get comfortable being uncomfortable. If you want to be successful in business and in life, get comfortable with your discomfort.

10 Steps to Overcome Complaining

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As we begin our Wisdom Note for today, I think that we would all agree that life can be very challenging and difficult at times. It is like taking a hike or trek on a rough trail where there are rocks, trees, loose dirt, and other obstacles in our way.

Under the adverse conditions of life, it is very easy for each of us to start grumbling and complaining. We are all tempted to do so. We have to ask ourselves, “Is this grumbling and complaining going to help us along our trek today?”

This reminds me of a time about 37 years ago when Paula and I would pick up an elderly lady Mrs. Borne every Sunday and take her to church. She was significantly crippled with arthritis, and it was difficult for her to walk and even get in the car. But, she faithfully came each week. We would ask her how she was doing each time we picked her up, and she would go on about how difficult it was to get around and talk about her husband who had died many years before. But, she would always end her story with, “I’m not complaining, mind ya.” Paula and I still jokingly use that phrase when we catch ourselves grumbling or complaining about something. As with most complaining, it is usually over something quite trivial.

Certainly complaining and grumbling is as old as mankind itself. One of the greatest leaders of all time, Moses, had to deal with a nation of complainers as they trekked through the wilderness for over 40 years because of their lack of belief that God would take care of them. This was the case with the children of Israel as indicated in Exodus 16:6-8 when they were complaining to Moses about his leadership and the lack of food and water, “So Moses and Aaron said to all the people of Israel, ‘By evening you will realize it was the Lord who brought you out of the land of Egypt. In the morning you will see the glory of the Lord, because he has heard your complaints, which are against him, not against us. What have we done that you should complain about us?’ Then Moses added, ‘The Lord will give you meat to eat in the evening and bread to satisfy you in the morning, for he has heard all your complaints against him. What have we done? Yes, your complaints are against the Lord, not against us.’”

If we are really honest with ourselves when we find ourselves complaining, we are no different than the Hebrew nation. We are actually complaining against God because we feel that our lot in life is unfair, which also shows a lack of faith on our part.

As we continue on our rough trail today, let’s look at 10 attitude adjustments that we can make in our thinking.

When you choose to change your attitude, you switch your thinking from a defeatist mentality to one of achievement. Achievers have a “can-do” attitude that sets them apart from complainers. Achievers are sold out to accomplishment and success — no matter the obstacles — and are willing to put forth the effort and pay the price for success.

Here are 10 milestones you can reach on your trek today that will allow you to turn an attitude of complaining into an attitude of accomplishment or “can-do.”

1. Overcome helplessness with solutions.

Can-do people aggressively pursue solutions, and, in the process, uncover creative solutions others never even try to find. Rather than wallowing in helplessness, can-do leaders search diligently to overcome the obstacles in front of them.

2. Take responsibility and then take action.

Can-do people are fearless. They go straight to the source of their problem. Their very effort commands attention as they wrestle a problem to the ground with expediency. They don’t wait; they initiate.

3. Live in the “No Complaining Zone.”

Can-do people abstain from complaining. They recognize its futility and guard their minds and mouths against indulging in this time-wasting activity.

4. Look through the eyes of others.

Can-do people empathize with others. They attempt to see any predicament from the other person’s perspective in order to make the best decisions.

5. Embrace and grow your passion.

Can-do people are immune to burnout. They love what they do because they’ve learned how to fuel the fire that keeps them moving. The prize is not given to the person who is the smartest, nor to the person with the advantages in resources and position, but to the person with passion and persistence.

6. Hike the second mile.

Can-do people exceed expectations. While others settle for an acceptable solution, can-do people aren’t satisfied until they have achieved the unimagined. They set expectations for themselves higher than what is dictated by the people or situations around them.

7. Remove the shackles and take action.

Can-do people take action. While others are crippled by worry, fear, and anxiety, they have the fortitude to press forward. The perfect moment when all is safe and assured may never arrive, so why wait for it?

8. Continually pivot.

Can-do people can adjust to change. They don’t get caught complaining about an unexpected curve on the trail. They accept transition with an optimistic outlook.

9. Don’t quit until it is finished.

Can-do people not only initiate, they finish. They are self-starters and self-finishers. They stick with the process and have the capacity to close the deal.

10. Expect results based on commitment.

If you make an all-out commitment with a can-do attitude, expect a return. Passionate commitment is contagious, and resources follow resolve. Committed individuals will reap rewards and find open doors as others are drawn to the excitement and energy emanating from them.

On our trek of life, we need to put away our excuses and complaining. When we complain it shows a lack of faith in our life. A faith without works is a dead faith. Instead of being a complainer or a “can’t-do’ person, be a “can-do” person of accomplishment.

Take to heart the exhortation the Apostle Paul wrote in his letter to the church in Philippi in Chapter 2 verses 13-15, “For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people.”

Be an Encourager

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While I do see the value of setting goals and striving to achieve them, most goals and resolutions that people make are not met because their “WHY” is not important enough. One resolution that we can all make and keep is to make it a habit to daily encourage other people.

I often pause to reflect on the word “encourage” or “encouragement.” What does it really mean to be able to encourage another person or have someone encourage us?

Certainly, on our life’s trek, there are plenty of obstacles and rough terrain that we encounter each day where it is easy to get discouraged. That is how life rolls some days or even for some extended seasons.

While I am generally a positive person and do not become easily discouraged for long periods of time, we are all susceptible to experiencing times where we do not feel, nor do we really desire to be, positive. I think that we can all relate to this.

One of the most common complaints we hear from many people today, especially in the workplace, but too many times also in our homes and places of worship, is that they never receive any feedback, except negative feedback. All of us like to be encouraged, but I tend not to need a constant dose of it myself. So, I was not always as free to give it as I should have been.

I know early on in my life as an entrepreneur and business owner, I made the same mistake with my team members. Paula had to remind me several times that encouragement does not come through sarcasm. Unfortunately, at times, this also carried over into my interaction with our kids. I did learn through the years to replace sarcasm with encouragement, but it took a while to make that transition. The good news is that any of us can learn to cultivate the ministry of encouragement in our lives.

But first, we need to understand what it really means to encourage another person and even ourselves.

What is Encouragement?

The word is a compound of the prefix “en,” which literally means to put into or infuse into someone. Think of a blood transfusion during which you are infusing donated blood from one individual into another person who is lacking blood. The second part of the word is “courage,” which means the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, without fear.

So, as we combine these two words, when we encourage someone it is to infuse them with courage that we have so that another person will have peace of mind to face difficulties, danger, and pain without fear.

Just as donating blood to someone else is both permanent and lifesaving, so when we encourage another person we are taking some of our courage and permanently infusing it into another person to help them to live life more fully. If we stick with the analogy of donating blood, encouragement does not have to be reserved for someone we know. Complete strangers may also benefit when we infuse them with courage that we have in abundance.

On the opposite side of this coin, let’s look at what it would mean to discourage someone. The prefix “dis” negates or reverses the word it is attached to. “Dissatisfied” means “not satisfied.” So, to “discourage” a person is to take courage away from that person. In our blood transfusion analogy, to discourage another person is the same as sucking the blood right out of a person, which could literally endanger their life. This certainly should give us pause on how we speak and treat others.

An encouraging person is pleasant to be around because he builds you up and strengthens you by his example, words, actions, and attitudes. A discouraging person weakens, deprives of hope, and tears down rather than strengthening and building up.

As a Christ follower, I find in the Scriptures a continual reminder to encourage, or infuse with courage, one another at all times. Even God’s Spirit whom He sent to dwell in us when Christ ascended into heaven was referred to in John 14 by the Greek word “Paraclete,” which is someone called alongside another to counsel, encourage, help, and bring comfort.

Encouragement also has the reference to urge or exhort. If a person has fear and needs courage, you may need to urge or exhort them to gain the courage needed for the task at hand. Encourage is not necessarily a “feel good word” to encourage someone, but to give them the courage to do what is right, just, and fair in all situations.

A person needing help may not require comfort so much as a challenge. The word is used to exhort troops to go into battle. It not only empathizes; it also motivates or inspires. It not only gives comfort; it also gives courage. It impels hesitant soldiers into battle and fearful sailors into the storm.

In the Apostle Paul’s letter to the church in Thessalonica Chapter 5 verses, 11 through 16, a good overview of encouragement is revealed, “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing. Dear brothers and sisters, honor those who are your leaders in the Lord’s work. They work hard among you and give you spiritual guidance. Show them great respect and wholehearted love because of their work. And live peacefully with each other. Brothers and sisters, we urge you to warn those who are lazy. Encourage those who are timid. Take tender care of those who are weak. Be patient with everyone. See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good to each other and to all people. Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”

The Scriptures are filled with words of encouragement and exhortation to encourage others. In the future, we will take some more days on our trek to look at the important subject of encouragement.

I will leave you with this question in this week’s Wisdom Note: “Do you practice encouragement in in your own life to bring courage within yourself and then donate some of that courage in the lives of others that you impact?”

Life Is Not a Spectator Sport

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As 2017 comes to an end this week, and we look forward to the New Year it is a time to reflect on how the year went and what changes need to be made. Some outcomes this year we had direct control over, other situations we had no control at all. As with all of life, we can choose to sit passively by and allow life to happen to us, or we can be actively engaged and shape the life that we desire. Either way, life will continue, and we cannot afford to be just a spectator.

While our life seems to be full most days, I have to admit there are some days when I wish it were a bit slower. I can’t help but feel like a slower pace would allow me to check out and not have to deal with what appears to be competing demands. I remind myself, though, that most of these activities are of my own choosing, and that if I had to do it all over again, I would probably make the same choices.

But, that does not stop the desire to step back and become a spectator in life instead of being so actively involved. However, I know “life is not a spectator sport” and to fulfill my destiny in life I must be actively involved. This applies to you and those around you as well. For some people, this will be on a large, grand scale impacting thousands, but for others, it will be on a small intimate scale, impacting a few. Both are equally important.

Although I am very much an optimist, I am also very much a realist. I understand fully that it’s not always easy to get through this thing we call life. If we allow it, day after day we are bombarded with constant negative images. We are told we are too fat, too lazy, too dumb, too old, too ugly, too far behind the rest of the world, and so on. And sadly, there are people in this world who derive pleasure from keeping others down.

For those who allow it, the world can be a scary, cold, and unwelcoming place. The world can be a place where we are afraid to take on challenges, try new things, express who we really are, or act like ourselves. As a result, it is important, imperative even, that each of us takes an active role in determining how our life is going to play out, and specifically, what role we are going to play in it – a starring role, a supporting role, or that of a spectator. The first two are equally admirable; however, the third role is one that requires us to have a change of mindset.

Growing up, one of the highlights of our weeks that were otherwise filled with work and school was our Sunday nights when we would all sit around the TV, eat popcorn, and watch The Wonderful World of Disney. We rarely missed it.

That memory got me thinking of another Disney story – The Hunchback of Notre Dame and its main character Quasimodo. We learn that he views life from the cathedral bell tower high above the village square too afraid to be a participant in the festivities and everyday happenings going on below and all around him.

His conscious decision to be a “spectator,” due to his various insecurities (most resulting from the abusive behavior of the reprehensible Judge Frollo) and a major deformity. That decision means he is missing out on even the most trivial joys that may be found “out there.”

That is until Laverne, one of “Quasi’s” trusted gargoyle confidantes, gives him a boot in the pants by imparting these words of wisdom, “Take it from an old spectator, life’s not a spectator sport. If watchin’ is all you’re gonna do, then you’re gonna watch life go by without ya!” And with this simple message, Quasimodo begins to realize that it is his choice whether to be a participant or “spectator” to take an active role in his life or a passive one, to give someone else power over him or not, is all up to him. It is his choice!

Just like in the case of Quasimodo, how our lives turn out and how much we participate, simply put, is our choice!

If you aren’t growing, you are dying. This isn’t philosophy. It is logic, really. The only time we cease to grow is upon death. Till then, in some measure, we grow.

Reading the logic, conversely, it simply says that if we have ceased to proactively grow, we have begun to proactively die or at least kill a part of us.

So therein lies an answer to life. Making an impact on others by pouring our lives into them is the only way to lasting satisfaction in life. Satisfaction, joy, and peace come when you are making positive progress in your own life and enhancing the lives of others.

Stagnation occurs when you are waiting for things to change without being a force for change. If you are of this mindset, you will assume a victim mindset – one that is full of blame, pity, and excuses. You will end up wallowing in the pigsty of self-doubt and misery.

The famous baseball player Jackie Robinson said it this way, “Life is not a spectator sport. If you’re going to spend your whole life in the grandstand just watching what goes on, in my opinion, you’re wasting your life.”

Like it or not, life is in progress. It’s not waiting. You may be a spectator. That doesn’t mean that the game isn’t on. It simply means that you are so scared to lose, you rather just watch.

There are no guarantees in life, no sure trail that we will be on. None of us can know for sure that we will wake up for tomorrow’s trek. Everything else except for the present moment is uncertain. Wouldn’t it be wiser to live fully, to make a difference today?

Don’t wait for conditions to be right to start helping others. Don’t blame others for your life situation. Don’t pity yourself that you are not actively participating. We have limited moments in this lifetime, and they are quickly passing by.

Don’t be a spectator, watching the lives of others advance. Regardless of your physical or financial situation, you can actively participate in life and in the lives of others. Wouldn’t it be wiser to live fully and to make a difference today?

If you are a Christ follower, as I am, don’t hide behind your faith as an excuse for not participating in the lives of others. Show your faith by actively participating in life. Follow the instructions found in the letter James wrote to the believers in Chapter 2 verses 14 through 17, “What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone? Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, and you say, ‘Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well’—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do? So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless.”

In 2018 commit yourself to live a life that is full and abundant. Actively participate in life each day. Don’t be a spectator, be a participant. It’s a wonderful life.

12 Reasons to Choose Love Over Fear – Part 2

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Again in today’s Wisdom Note, we want to explore why we should choose love over fear. Each day of life brings with it new trails of opportunities and challenges. Some trails are steep and rugged. Other trails are flat and smooth. While still other trails are a downhill slope.

Each type of trail has its advantages and disadvantages. We could choose to be fearful, and never take the risks in life that will help us to reach the summit where we can see for miles, but that wouldn’t get us very far. Instead, let’s ponder the 6 remaining reasons why we should always choose love over fear in order to create a living legacy that will light the path for others to follow.

7. Recognize that fear is an emotion.

Fear is to be expected when something huge is taking place, but love will allow you to push through those obstacles. Fear is a natural human emotion, and you should understand that everyone becomes afraid at different times in life. You’re normal and healthy if you encounter fear from time to time. But moving forward under the visage of love shows you that fear only creates obstacles through our own choosing. You have the capacity to look past those obstacles when harnessing love.

Famous basketball player Michael Jordan shares his own thoughts on overcoming obstacles, “If you’re trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. I’ve had them; everybody has had them. But obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.”

8. Take a chance by doing what you love.

In the words of Jim Carrey, “You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance at doing what you love.”

Jim Carrey delivers an excellent point about the battle between love and fear. Fear can keep you constrained within the belief that many things are “impossible.” Love is the key that unlocks the cage, showing you that it’s okay to mess up even when you’re pursuing what you love. I know that I mess up plenty, but we must continue on. Zig Ziglar put it this way, “Failure is an event, not a person. Yesterday ended last night and today is a brand new day.”

9. Love frees you to act with confidence and courage.

Love will be the driving force that activates courage and confidence during your journey. These two characteristics are not experienced or delivered when acting through fear. Even Helen Keller struggled with maintaining courage and confidence at all times, but she eventually reached this conclusion, “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.”

Fear seeks to place limits on what you believe you can achieve; love will be the patient reminder that confidence in taking risks and courage to arrive at results is all you need to fight through failure.

10. Fear says, “I can’t be enough.” Love says, “I already am enough.”

Fear tries to stunt your growth and sell you lies; love returns to your door every day and knocks until you open it. Famous psychologist Albert Ellis reminds us that “The art of love is largely the art of persistence.” Stick with what you love long enough, and you will be able to accomplish.

11. Love creates new opportunities out of problems.

Even with the most detailed or precise plans, life sometimes throws us a curveball, and we are forced to make do under less-than-ideal circumstances. Fear attempts to tell you this is the end; love is confident and secure in its ability to derive fresh opportunities out of unexpected events. Desiring something strongly enough can keep us on the path of love and success. Personal-success author Napoleon Hill shared much wisdom during his time with one of his most famous quotes speaking about desire, “The starting point of all achievement is desire.” Let your educational or career desires create new opportunities that can powerfully alter the face of the world.

12. Love supports others and creates a more beautiful world through cohesion.

Ultimately, it takes every individual striving toward living in love to create a more beautiful world. Fear tries to keep people separated, discouraging beneficial and incredible collaboration. Love is the undying force that creates teams out of unassuming individuals and empowers each person to contribute his or her best. In the words of the famous speaker and author John C. Maxwell, “Teamwork makes the dream work.”

In his letter to the church in Ephesus, the Apostle Paul encouraged them in chapter 4 verses 2 and 3, “Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.”

Even Jesus exhorted his followers with these words, “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples,” John 13:34-35