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We May Never Pass This Way Again – Part 1

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In this note and the next couple, let us reflect on our life regardless of our individual circumstances. Let us realize we have so much to be thankful for. In light of eternity, our lives are short, even if we are fortunate enough to live to be well over 100.

Regardless of whether our lives are short or long, the impact that we have on others each day will impact generations to come and impact all of eternity. None of us have the promise of tomorrow so we need to make each day count. I struggle with this as much as anyone – maybe more than most. There are always deadlines to meet, bills to pay, and people to deal with, but let us not confuse the urgent with the important. They are rarely the same.

Although I don’t get outdoors nearly as much as I would like, the analogy of life being a trek is so important and fitting. We slowly go through life one day at a time. I enjoy walking and hiking and hope to soon to get back to running. I enjoy long hikes in the hills and mountains, but they can be very challenging. The difficulties of these trails are a stark reminder that on some days life is an uphill climb and can be very painful for the moment, but if we keep at it, we will reach our destination…eventually. Sometimes it takes being infused with a little more courage to make it through.

As we think about infusing courage into our lives and the lives of others, as I mentioned in last week’s Wisdom Notes, it is similar to what happens when a person receives a blood transfusion. The person receives a life-altering experience that will help them to be fully alive. What we say to others and how we treat others each day is either infusing them with life or death. This applies both to how and what we speak to ourselves and how we treat ourselves.

Are you living daily or dying daily? Each day is a new day. We will never again have a chance at today with its unique situations or circumstances. Although some seasons of life feel like we are on the proverbial treadmill or are reliving the same day over and over, like in the movie Groundhog Day, that is not the case. We only have one chance to get today correct. As was written by William Penn, “I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”

Our words alone can have a significant impact on the lives of others either for good or for evil. The old rhyme “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is just not true. As we looked at last week, words have the power of life and death.

All of us have a problem when it comes to controlling our tongues. We suffer from “diarrhea of the mouth” and “foot in mouth” diseases. James, the half-brother of Jesus, wrote in his letter Chapter 3 verse 2, “Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.” Suffice it to say, controlling how we speak to others is a problem for all of us. We will look at this entire passage in James 3 on another day, as it gives a clear description about controlling our tongue.

When I was in my early teen years, my nose outgrew my small and slight frame significantly as I was going through puberty. My family called me, “The Nose” or “Noses,” which was a play on the Bible character Moses. Thankfully, I eventually grew into my nose, for the most part, but for my size, it is still a bit on the large size. Fortunately, I realize as an adult, that physical features are not what makes a person significant. Even now though, I’m a little self-conscious about it.

I know that this example is trivial compared to what most have to deal with when trying to navigate the harsh words of others. The point is to understand and show you how powerful and lasting our words can be. A careless word can shape — or misshape — someone’s reality for years to come.

We need to take to heart and put into practice the advice that Paul wrote in his letter to the church in Ephesus Chapter 4 verse 29, “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.”

This verse provides three keys to appropriate speaking:

  1. Never use foul or abusive language.Language is so rich and full that we should never need to use words that are foul or abusive when communicating with others. Foul or abusive language is negative, or positive, and we should always avoid it.
  2. Everything that we say should be good and helpful. Every word that we speak to others should be good and also helpful to that person. Even if it is words of correction or discipline, the objective is to help the person that is being spoken to.
  3. All words should infuse courage into others (encourage).Every word should be to encourage the person being spoken to. Even if we have to help others dealing with negative habits or uncomfortable confrontations, it should be handled in such a manner that our words infuse the other person with the courage to make the changes needed.

King Solomon said in Proverbs 18:21, “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” Every day, we are shaping reality for someone by the words that we use with them. The choice is ours. How will our words impact others?

Be an Encourager

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While I do see the value of setting goals and striving to achieve them, most goals and resolutions that people make are not met because their “WHY” is not important enough. One resolution that we can all make and keep is to make it a habit to daily encourage other people.

I often pause to reflect on the word “encourage” or “encouragement.” What does it really mean to be able to encourage another person or have someone encourage us?

Certainly, on our life’s trek, there are plenty of obstacles and rough terrain that we encounter each day where it is easy to get discouraged. That is how life rolls some days or even for some extended seasons.

While I am generally a positive person and do not become easily discouraged for long periods of time, we are all susceptible to experiencing times where we do not feel, nor do we really desire to be, positive. I think that we can all relate to this.

One of the most common complaints we hear from many people today, especially in the workplace, but too many times also in our homes and places of worship, is that they never receive any feedback, except negative feedback. All of us like to be encouraged, but I tend not to need a constant dose of it myself. So, I was not always as free to give it as I should have been.

I know early on in my life as an entrepreneur and business owner, I made the same mistake with my team members. Paula had to remind me several times that encouragement does not come through sarcasm. Unfortunately, at times, this also carried over into my interaction with our kids. I did learn through the years to replace sarcasm with encouragement, but it took a while to make that transition. The good news is that any of us can learn to cultivate the ministry of encouragement in our lives.

But first, we need to understand what it really means to encourage another person and even ourselves.

What is Encouragement?

The word is a compound of the prefix “en,” which literally means to put into or infuse into someone. Think of a blood transfusion during which you are infusing donated blood from one individual into another person who is lacking blood. The second part of the word is “courage,” which means the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, without fear.

So, as we combine these two words, when we encourage someone it is to infuse them with courage that we have so that another person will have peace of mind to face difficulties, danger, and pain without fear.

Just as donating blood to someone else is both permanent and lifesaving, so when we encourage another person we are taking some of our courage and permanently infusing it into another person to help them to live life more fully. If we stick with the analogy of donating blood, encouragement does not have to be reserved for someone we know. Complete strangers may also benefit when we infuse them with courage that we have in abundance.

On the opposite side of this coin, let’s look at what it would mean to discourage someone. The prefix “dis” negates or reverses the word it is attached to. “Dissatisfied” means “not satisfied.” So, to “discourage” a person is to take courage away from that person. In our blood transfusion analogy, to discourage another person is the same as sucking the blood right out of a person, which could literally endanger their life. This certainly should give us pause on how we speak and treat others.

An encouraging person is pleasant to be around because he builds you up and strengthens you by his example, words, actions, and attitudes. A discouraging person weakens, deprives of hope, and tears down rather than strengthening and building up.

As a Christ follower, I find in the Scriptures a continual reminder to encourage, or infuse with courage, one another at all times. Even God’s Spirit whom He sent to dwell in us when Christ ascended into heaven was referred to in John 14 by the Greek word “Paraclete,” which is someone called alongside another to counsel, encourage, help, and bring comfort.

Encouragement also has the reference to urge or exhort. If a person has fear and needs courage, you may need to urge or exhort them to gain the courage needed for the task at hand. Encourage is not necessarily a “feel good word” to encourage someone, but to give them the courage to do what is right, just, and fair in all situations.

A person needing help may not require comfort so much as a challenge. The word is used to exhort troops to go into battle. It not only empathizes; it also motivates or inspires. It not only gives comfort; it also gives courage. It impels hesitant soldiers into battle and fearful sailors into the storm.

In the Apostle Paul’s letter to the church in Thessalonica Chapter 5 verses, 11 through 16, a good overview of encouragement is revealed, “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing. Dear brothers and sisters, honor those who are your leaders in the Lord’s work. They work hard among you and give you spiritual guidance. Show them great respect and wholehearted love because of their work. And live peacefully with each other. Brothers and sisters, we urge you to warn those who are lazy. Encourage those who are timid. Take tender care of those who are weak. Be patient with everyone. See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good to each other and to all people. Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”

The Scriptures are filled with words of encouragement and exhortation to encourage others. In the future, we will take some more days on our trek to look at the important subject of encouragement.

I will leave you with this question in this week’s Wisdom Note: “Do you practice encouragement in in your own life to bring courage within yourself and then donate some of that courage in the lives of others that you impact?”

Life Is Not a Spectator Sport

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As 2017 comes to an end this week, and we look forward to the New Year it is a time to reflect on how the year went and what changes need to be made. Some outcomes this year we had direct control over, other situations we had no control at all. As with all of life, we can choose to sit passively by and allow life to happen to us, or we can be actively engaged and shape the life that we desire. Either way, life will continue, and we cannot afford to be just a spectator.

While our life seems to be full most days, I have to admit there are some days when I wish it were a bit slower. I can’t help but feel like a slower pace would allow me to check out and not have to deal with what appears to be competing demands. I remind myself, though, that most of these activities are of my own choosing, and that if I had to do it all over again, I would probably make the same choices.

But, that does not stop the desire to step back and become a spectator in life instead of being so actively involved. However, I know “life is not a spectator sport” and to fulfill my destiny in life I must be actively involved. This applies to you and those around you as well. For some people, this will be on a large, grand scale impacting thousands, but for others, it will be on a small intimate scale, impacting a few. Both are equally important.

Although I am very much an optimist, I am also very much a realist. I understand fully that it’s not always easy to get through this thing we call life. If we allow it, day after day we are bombarded with constant negative images. We are told we are too fat, too lazy, too dumb, too old, too ugly, too far behind the rest of the world, and so on. And sadly, there are people in this world who derive pleasure from keeping others down.

For those who allow it, the world can be a scary, cold, and unwelcoming place. The world can be a place where we are afraid to take on challenges, try new things, express who we really are, or act like ourselves. As a result, it is important, imperative even, that each of us takes an active role in determining how our life is going to play out, and specifically, what role we are going to play in it – a starring role, a supporting role, or that of a spectator. The first two are equally admirable; however, the third role is one that requires us to have a change of mindset.

Growing up, one of the highlights of our weeks that were otherwise filled with work and school was our Sunday nights when we would all sit around the TV, eat popcorn, and watch The Wonderful World of Disney. We rarely missed it.

That memory got me thinking of another Disney story – The Hunchback of Notre Dame and its main character Quasimodo. We learn that he views life from the cathedral bell tower high above the village square too afraid to be a participant in the festivities and everyday happenings going on below and all around him.

His conscious decision to be a “spectator,” due to his various insecurities (most resulting from the abusive behavior of the reprehensible Judge Frollo) and a major deformity. That decision means he is missing out on even the most trivial joys that may be found “out there.”

That is until Laverne, one of “Quasi’s” trusted gargoyle confidantes, gives him a boot in the pants by imparting these words of wisdom, “Take it from an old spectator, life’s not a spectator sport. If watchin’ is all you’re gonna do, then you’re gonna watch life go by without ya!” And with this simple message, Quasimodo begins to realize that it is his choice whether to be a participant or “spectator” to take an active role in his life or a passive one, to give someone else power over him or not, is all up to him. It is his choice!

Just like in the case of Quasimodo, how our lives turn out and how much we participate, simply put, is our choice!

If you aren’t growing, you are dying. This isn’t philosophy. It is logic, really. The only time we cease to grow is upon death. Till then, in some measure, we grow.

Reading the logic, conversely, it simply says that if we have ceased to proactively grow, we have begun to proactively die or at least kill a part of us.

So therein lies an answer to life. Making an impact on others by pouring our lives into them is the only way to lasting satisfaction in life. Satisfaction, joy, and peace come when you are making positive progress in your own life and enhancing the lives of others.

Stagnation occurs when you are waiting for things to change without being a force for change. If you are of this mindset, you will assume a victim mindset – one that is full of blame, pity, and excuses. You will end up wallowing in the pigsty of self-doubt and misery.

The famous baseball player Jackie Robinson said it this way, “Life is not a spectator sport. If you’re going to spend your whole life in the grandstand just watching what goes on, in my opinion, you’re wasting your life.”

Like it or not, life is in progress. It’s not waiting. You may be a spectator. That doesn’t mean that the game isn’t on. It simply means that you are so scared to lose, you rather just watch.

There are no guarantees in life, no sure trail that we will be on. None of us can know for sure that we will wake up for tomorrow’s trek. Everything else except for the present moment is uncertain. Wouldn’t it be wiser to live fully, to make a difference today?

Don’t wait for conditions to be right to start helping others. Don’t blame others for your life situation. Don’t pity yourself that you are not actively participating. We have limited moments in this lifetime, and they are quickly passing by.

Don’t be a spectator, watching the lives of others advance. Regardless of your physical or financial situation, you can actively participate in life and in the lives of others. Wouldn’t it be wiser to live fully and to make a difference today?

If you are a Christ follower, as I am, don’t hide behind your faith as an excuse for not participating in the lives of others. Show your faith by actively participating in life. Follow the instructions found in the letter James wrote to the believers in Chapter 2 verses 14 through 17, “What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone? Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, and you say, ‘Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well’—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do? So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless.”

In 2018 commit yourself to live a life that is full and abundant. Actively participate in life each day. Don’t be a spectator, be a participant. It’s a wonderful life.

12 Reasons to Choose Love Over Fear – Part 2

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Again in today’s Wisdom Note, we want to explore why we should choose love over fear. Each day of life brings with it new trails of opportunities and challenges. Some trails are steep and rugged. Other trails are flat and smooth. While still other trails are a downhill slope.

Each type of trail has its advantages and disadvantages. We could choose to be fearful, and never take the risks in life that will help us to reach the summit where we can see for miles, but that wouldn’t get us very far. Instead, let’s ponder the 6 remaining reasons why we should always choose love over fear in order to create a living legacy that will light the path for others to follow.

7. Recognize that fear is an emotion.

Fear is to be expected when something huge is taking place, but love will allow you to push through those obstacles. Fear is a natural human emotion, and you should understand that everyone becomes afraid at different times in life. You’re normal and healthy if you encounter fear from time to time. But moving forward under the visage of love shows you that fear only creates obstacles through our own choosing. You have the capacity to look past those obstacles when harnessing love.

Famous basketball player Michael Jordan shares his own thoughts on overcoming obstacles, “If you’re trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. I’ve had them; everybody has had them. But obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.”

8. Take a chance by doing what you love.

In the words of Jim Carrey, “You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance at doing what you love.”

Jim Carrey delivers an excellent point about the battle between love and fear. Fear can keep you constrained within the belief that many things are “impossible.” Love is the key that unlocks the cage, showing you that it’s okay to mess up even when you’re pursuing what you love. I know that I mess up plenty, but we must continue on. Zig Ziglar put it this way, “Failure is an event, not a person. Yesterday ended last night and today is a brand new day.”

9. Love frees you to act with confidence and courage.

Love will be the driving force that activates courage and confidence during your journey. These two characteristics are not experienced or delivered when acting through fear. Even Helen Keller struggled with maintaining courage and confidence at all times, but she eventually reached this conclusion, “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.”

Fear seeks to place limits on what you believe you can achieve; love will be the patient reminder that confidence in taking risks and courage to arrive at results is all you need to fight through failure.

10. Fear says, “I can’t be enough.” Love says, “I already am enough.”

Fear tries to stunt your growth and sell you lies; love returns to your door every day and knocks until you open it. Famous psychologist Albert Ellis reminds us that “The art of love is largely the art of persistence.” Stick with what you love long enough, and you will be able to accomplish.

11. Love creates new opportunities out of problems.

Even with the most detailed or precise plans, life sometimes throws us a curveball, and we are forced to make do under less-than-ideal circumstances. Fear attempts to tell you this is the end; love is confident and secure in its ability to derive fresh opportunities out of unexpected events. Desiring something strongly enough can keep us on the path of love and success. Personal-success author Napoleon Hill shared much wisdom during his time with one of his most famous quotes speaking about desire, “The starting point of all achievement is desire.” Let your educational or career desires create new opportunities that can powerfully alter the face of the world.

12. Love supports others and creates a more beautiful world through cohesion.

Ultimately, it takes every individual striving toward living in love to create a more beautiful world. Fear tries to keep people separated, discouraging beneficial and incredible collaboration. Love is the undying force that creates teams out of unassuming individuals and empowers each person to contribute his or her best. In the words of the famous speaker and author John C. Maxwell, “Teamwork makes the dream work.”

In his letter to the church in Ephesus, the Apostle Paul encouraged them in chapter 4 verses 2 and 3, “Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.”

Even Jesus exhorted his followers with these words, “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples,” John 13:34-35

12 Reasons to Choose Love Over Fear – Part 1

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It is always timely to reflect on God who because of His love for us chose to take on a human body and dwell among us so we do not have to fear eternity. So in our next two Wisdom Notes, we will explore 12 reasons to choose love over fear.

Life is like an unpredictable whirlwind of activities, people, thoughts, and feelings. The trails of life are rough for everyone at some point, and it can be all too tempting to want to stay in our homes and give into the lies of fear. We imagine the great obstacles ahead of us and think, “I’m never going to make it. It is all too much for me. I will stumble and fall.”

We are each given the chance every day to choose between two trails at various times and seasons in life – the trails of fear or love. The way to live a rich and satisfying life of freedom is through love.

1. Love is a natural pathway and provides motivation to travel towards something you can gain.

If you’re excited about an opportunity ahead of you, it shows you recognize there’s something to gain from it. This opportunity to gain – whether it’s a new job, a valuable business partner, a new place to call home, or a romantic relationship – will be fully realized when you are acting through love. Embrace the sacrifices necessary to achieve your goal, and forget that fear was ever there.

Vince Lombardi, the famous football coach, reminds us that in order to be successful, we must embrace the kind of hard work that we love. He says, “The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand.”

2. If you truly love something or someone, you will continue working towards success.

Despite the appearance that some people have it all together, life’s trek is not easy for anyone. The truth is anyone who has established long-lasting success in life had to continually fight for it until success arrived. The exact same will be true of your story. Nothing that lasts comes easily, and nothing that’s easy will last. Allow your love for your quest to keep you fueled as you encounter hardships and rigorous trails.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once remarked about the need to collectively continue working towards success, saying, “Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable…Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals.”

3. Love requires sacrifice, and if you are willing to sacrifice for what you love, you will grow exponentially.

When we find something we love in life, it requires sacrifice. The magnificent summits, people, and trails that we traverse in life are almost always the result of intentional sacrifice. We need to give something up in order to get something greater. Henry Ford once said, “One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” Let the power of your love for your journey overtake any fear that claims you’re incapable of making the necessary sacrifices.

4. When you begin something great, it is because you “fell in love” with your project. Keep this mindset at the forefront of your actions.

Our brains possess an incredible power that awakens when we strike out to succeed at something we love. When we’re committed to achieving something we truly desire, it makes the work far simpler – a leisurely walk on a wide and flat trail. We become so enticed by our goals and results that our internal drive finds a way to make it happen.

Your goals exist for a reason and for a season. They motivate with a keen love for your work. Famous author Jack Canfield says, “Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take to get them closer to the fulfillment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them.” Let the fact that you “fell in love” with your goal or project guide your steps toward success.

5. Biologically speaking, the human brain is more likely to respond to something positive than something negative. Choosing love will guide your brain positively.

On a simple biological level, your brain responds with greater clarity and vision when thinking about something positive rather than something negative. This is why it’s a fundamental human inclination to listen to people who agree with us, rather than people who speak from a different point of view. Take a moment to reflect on how diving head first into a project you love will keep your brain focused on positive action.

Speaking of action, Confucius offers sage advice when you encounter unexpected roadblocks with your goals, “When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.” It’s better to keep your path flexible than to give in to fear and abandon it entirely.

6. Fear will darken and cloud your path, but love will broaden and enlighten it.

Embracing your fear towards a project or goal will only hamper your ability to move forward. Concentrating on love will show you that anything is possible if you care enough to make it happen. As Franklin D. Roosevelt would say, “There is nothing to fear but fear itself.” Don’t let fear have any place on your path towards success!

Jesus’s closest friend the Apostle John puts it best when he describes perfect love that expels all fear in 1 John 4:16-19, “We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the Day of Judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. We love each other because he loved us first.”