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Life Ambitions

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Exploring Expectations vs. Reality

In our Wisdom Note for today, we want to explore the difference between the expectations and realities of life. Using the analogy of a mountainous hiking trip, when you start out the trail is smooth and wide, and you think, “Wow! This is going to be easy.”

In the same manner, as we start into adulthood we think we know so much about life we feel that we have it all together. We often believe our parents and older associates have missed the boat somehow.

We plan out our lives with dreams and ambitions, and we feel that the road to success will be typically smooth. Then we get busy living life, and the years just rush by. Before you know it, you are in your 50s and 60s wondering, “What just happened?”

If you have not reached that point in your life yet, realize that it will also happen to you and be prepared for life’s mountains and valleys and the trail’s twists and turns. No matter what age you are or what season of life you are in, it is never too late to remember to enjoy and celebrate life each day, regardless of how rough the path is. This is what makes life worthwhile.

Let’s look at what the wisest man who ever lived had to say about life. This was King Solomon, who was the king of all Israel from approximately 970 – 931 BC. Towards the latter years of his reign, he wrote the book of Ecclesiastes and saw life from this perspective. In chapter 1:8-9 he wrote, “Everything is wearisome beyond description. No matter how much we see, we are never satisfied. No matter how much we hear, we are not content. History merely repeats itself. It has all been done before. Nothing under the sun is truly new.”

So we see that life is full of unexpected results, especially when our desire and pursuit is for more stuff.

Solomon also wrote in Chapter 2:24-26, “So I decided there is nothing better than to enjoy food and drink and to find satisfaction in work. Then I realized that these pleasures are from the hand of God. For who can eat or enjoy anything apart from him? God gives wisdom, knowledge, and joy to those who please him.”

These are choices that we need to make early and often in life. Yes, work hard and succeed in whatever you are called to do, but take time to enjoy it.

Now, I don’t want you to get the wrong impression. I am all for planning and dreaming, I always have many ideas and plans in my head, written down, and in some measure of completion. But, I also understand that the road to success is rarely smooth, and the trails of life are strewn with obstacles.

When we realize this and plan accordingly, then we can set up expectations accordingly. This is one way that we grow in wisdom. Learning the art of managing expectations for ourselves and others is a key element in success and happiness in life.

As we look back on the trails of life that we have traveled so far, or if look forward to the mountains and valleys that are in our future, we need to realize that this is the stuff that life is made of. We don’t need to give up during the difficult times because we are prepared for them, we expect them, and we should even desire them because growth happens when life does not go according to plan.

Christine Haussler said it well, “You gotta wonder why we cling to our expectations when it’s the unexpected that truly changes our lives.”

Regardless of how difficult the realities of life are, especially in light of our expectations, we would do well to follow the exhortation of the letter that was written to Hebrew Christians that were struggling with the realities of life during the 1st century AD.

In chapter 12:1-2, we read, “ Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.”

As this scripture points out, let us encourage and assist each other to deal with and embrace the realities of life. In doing so, we will grow in wisdom and create a living legacy.

The Message of Your Life

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The Echoes of Life

Today in my Wisdom-Trek note to you, I would like you to visualize yourself on a narrow path with a wall of stone on our right side and a steep cliff on our left. Across the vast valley is another ridge of mountains. As with life on many days, your path is steep and is strewn with rocks and obstacles of all sizes. It certainly makes the trek of life on those days slow and difficult.

If you were to shout out on this trail you would soon hear your voice echoing back to you the exact message that you shouted. If you express fear, then fear would come shouting back. If you express confidence then confidence would come shouting back to you.

Such as it is with our trek of life. What we project out, comes booming back to us as an echo. This is very similar to the principles of planting and harvesting which I have discussed in many of the podcasts. You will harvest what you plant but much more than you plant.

It is so important that we are always aware that what we say and do does have a significant impact on the lives of others, and as it is returned to us like an echo and will impact us as well.

Zig Ziglar said it this way, “Life is an echo. What you send out comes back. What you sow, you reap. What you give, you get. What you see in others, exists in you.”

What we say can give nourishment and strength as Proverbs 16:24 explains that: “Kind words are like honey — sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.”

Our words can also:

  • Be a source of wisdom – “Wise words are like deep waters; wisdom flows from the wise like a bubbling brook,” Proverbs 18:4.
  • Satisfy like a good meal – “Wise words satisfy like a good meal; the right words bring satisfaction,” Proverbs 18:20.
  • Hold more value than any riches, “Wise words are more valuable than much gold and many rubies,” Proverbs 20:15.

As we consider the words that we speak to others and even to ourselves, let us reflect on what Mother Teresa said. Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless

Our actions can also echo back to us. How we treat others, will ultimately be how we are treated. At times we may be able to mask our words. We may have even mastered how we speak to others, but…“Your words may hide your thoughts, but your actions will reveal them.”

We should always encourage and strengthen everyone that we impact, even in the smallest manner. If you desire to gain wisdom and create a living legacy, then you must inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more. These essential leadership skills will become evident since what you inspire in others will come echoing back into your life.

One area that Paula and I have observed in the lives of others is when someone is critical or judgmental of people they usually are critical and judging themselves in the same way. We have concluded that when we judge another person, we do not define them rather we define ourselves.

Think about this in your own life. Are the areas of life in which you are most critical and judgmental toward others, are these the same areas where you have struggles? Are your actions echoing back to you?

I think that Christ put it very succinctly when he spoke about the echo principle when judging others in the book of Matthew 6:37-38, “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven. Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full — pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.”

Talk about a formula for a happy, peaceful, and abundant life. I think this passage pretty much is the secret to success.

Unlike the echo from the mountains at the beginning of this note today, we do not always see an immediate return in what we do. And, that is okay. Otherwise, you are giving to others out of a selfish and impure motive.

The effects of kindness are not always seen immediately. Sometimes it takes years until your kindness will pay off, and is returned to you. And sometimes you never see the fruits of your labors, but they are there, deep inside of the soul of the one you touched. That should be sufficient reward for what we do.

Send out goodness, mercy, kindness, and love each day, and you will receive an abundant echo of the same in return. But, the opposite is also true.

While I try to be very careful not to generalize situations or individuals, we also need to be honest with ourselves. Consider this:

  • If you are critical of others.
  • If you have a hard time forgiving others.
  • If you find others unkind to you.
  • If you move from one crisis to another in life.

If any of these statements are true, ask yourself: What am I sending out into the world today? More specifically, what am I sending into the lives of others?

Our problems may not be the fault of others. It may be that we need to change what we are sending out, so that the echoes that come back are encouraging, kind, full of wisdom and helping us to create a living legacy each day.

A Degree of Difference

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The 1º Difference

You might think out of the 360° in a circle being off by only 1° is not a big difference and for a very short distance, that may be true. Let’s look at what that means if we are hiking or more significantly flying.

Consider this. If you’re going somewhere and you’re off course by just one degree, after one foot, you’ll miss your target by 0.2 inches. Trivial, right? But what about as you get farther out?

After 100 yards, (one football field) you’ll be off by 5.2 feet. Not huge, but noticeable.
After a mile, you’ll be off by 92.2 feet. One degree is starting to make a difference. After flying from San Francisco to L.A., you’ll be off by 6 miles.

If you were flying from San Francisco to Washington, D.C., you’d end up on the other side of Baltimore, 42.6 miles away.

Traveling around the globe from Washington, DC, you’d miss by 435 miles and end up in Boston.

In a rocket going to the moon, you’d be 4,169 miles off (nearly twice the diameter of the moon).

Going to the sun, you’d miss by over 1.6 million miles (nearly twice the diameter of the sun).

Traveling to the nearest star, you’d be off course by over 441 billion miles (120 times the distance from the earth to Pluto, or 4,745 times the distance from Earth to the sun).

Over time, a mere one-degree error in course makes a huge difference!

It is much the same with our trek of life. We allow small, seemingly insignificant obstacles to divert us from our intended path. It may not seem like a big deal, but over days, weeks, months and years it will have a large impact.

What are you accepting in your life? What is your tolerance for being off course?

Neither a marriage nor a business fails overnight. Cataclysmic failure generally comes from a series of small, correctable failures. I like to call these failures “1º failures.”

Just as it is hard to recognize being one degree off while flying at 30,000 feet, it is hard to realize these “one-degree failures” in our own daily lives. That’s why we need a crystal clear flight plan for our life and business, an easy way to measure success or failure, and someone who cares enough about us to hold us accountable.

Straying off course doesn’t have to result in cataclysmic failure in life or business. In fact, when flying, a plane is rarely on true course, but the pilot is continually making small adjustments to its course to ensure that overtime that the true course is followed to its intended destination.

While you may have never piloted a plane before, anyone can make in-flight adjustments along the way. We do it subconsciously when we walk, run, ride a bike, or drive a car. It is not the fact that we are never off course, but the fact that we know what our destination is, and we are continuously making life course corrections every moment of every day.

We all get derailed from time to time. We all experience some type of failure. To succeed on our trek of life is to realize when we are off course, and then do something about it. Successful people recognize their failures, make corrections, and get back on track. There is no need for despair if you are off course. However, there is a need to do something about it.

Jim Rohn put it this way, “We don’t have to change that much for it to make a great deal of difference. A few simple disciplines can have a major impact on how your life works out in the next 90 days, let alone in the next 12 months or the next 3 years.”

If you are on the proper trail of life, stay vigilant. If you aren’t, find your way back. In either case, enjoy the journey!

When flying, the pilot can stay on course through the use of a compass or GPS, which is tracking the plane’s location every second.

In the same way, if we are going to stay on the proper trail on our trek in life, then we need to use a compass or GPS that will ensure that we stay on course. What do you use to ensure that you stay on course?

You may not have the same Christian beliefs as I do, but regardless you do have to have a belief system or moral compass that allows you to know when you are on the correct trail. If we do not have this compass, then we will stumble along blindly, lost, not knowing when or how we have wandered off the trail. Likewise, we will not know how to get back on the trail.

For me, the Bible is my overriding compass. The books of Psalms and Proverbs are filled with many verses about staying on the right path. I would encourage you to look up the word path in these two books and see the many verses listed.

Here are just a few that provide me with a sense of direction and assurance that God will help me to stay the course of life.

  • Psalms 119:105, “Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.”
  • Psalms 18:36, “You have made a wide path for my feet to keep them from slipping.”
  • Psalms 23:3, “He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name.”
  • Psalms 25:4, “Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow.”
  • Psalms 25:8, “The Lord is good and does what is right; he shows the proper path to those who go astray.”
  • Psalms 119:35, “Make me walk along the path of your commands, for that is where my happiness is found.”
  • Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”

There are many more to consider, but that gives a sampling of why I consider God’s Word to be my map to guide me along life’s trek. Yes, I do get off of the path at times, such as when I ignore the map, but I know that I can return to the map and know the proper trail to take.

Let us remember to check our compass each day to make sure we are on the proper trails in life.

A Checklist for Life

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The Value of a Checklist

If we decided to set out on a long and difficult trek such as hiking the entire Appalachian Trail, which runs from Katahdin Maine down to Springer Mountain in Georgia, one of the first items that would be required is a complete checklist. What would be on our checklist? While I have never hiked anywhere close to that long or difficult of a trail, I have read several articles and watched documentaries from those who have hiked all or part of it. The checklist is extensive, and if you are not prepared, the hike can be very dangerous.

Completing the entire 2,185 miles of the Appalachian Trail in one trip is a mammoth undertaking, which can take five months or more. It requires great determination and commitment, but can potentially be accomplished by anyone with the ability to walk. That’s not to say hiking it is easy. The footpath of the Appalachian Trail is far more rugged than most anticipate, given the soft and gentle profiles of the mountains and relatively low elevations.

Each year, thousands of hikers attempt a thru-hike, but only about one in four makes it all the way. Who knows, I may attempt a thru-hike at some point.

As it is with our trek of life, first we need to have a good understanding of where we are heading and why. We then need to have a plan on how we are going to travel towards our destination. In the Wisdom Note I recently posted, I referred to the importance and differences between the compass and the clock. Both are a crucial part in navigation on a long trek.

Each of us should have a set of guidelines or a code that we live by. This will establish our baseline for the decisions that we need to make each day. While we may not see a lot of progress made on certain days, it does not take too long to realize that the days string together quickly. If we don’t have a set of guidelines, or as it were, a checklist, then we will stumble blindly on, never ending up where we desire to be.

You may establish your guidelines or checklist on a different moral code than I do, but we all have a compass that gives us direction. If your compass is not functioning and not pointing to your true north, then it will show up in a lack of integrity and commitment.

My personal moral compass is the Bible, which I consider to be God’s Word. It has been my guide throughout life. Just as in hiking, there is a checklist for every leg of the hike. I consider God’s Word to be a complete checklist for my life. I am not referring to a legalistic rigid set of “rules” that I must follow, but through the spirit of living in such a way that my manner of life and integrity stands true in all areas of life.

The most famous checklist of all time and the basis for most civilized governments is referred to as the 10 Commandments. It sets the moral standard for how we should conduct ourselves in every situation. My paraphrased version of Exodus 20:1-17 is:

  1. There is only one God – and He comes first.
  2. Worship only God.
  3. Don’t misuse God’s name.
  4. Set aside one day a week for rest – it is holy.
  5. Honor your parents = long life.
  6. Don’t murder.
  7. Don’t cheat on your spouse.
  8. Don’t steal.
  9. Don’t lie about your neighbors.
  10. Don’t desire what is not yours to have.

All of the laws that were set up in the Old Testament of the Bible were to show how far short we fall from being God ourselves. It is not possible for us to achieve that standard. Fortunately, we do not have a long checklist that we need to follow for each day of our lives. In fact, it is quite short, and yet covers all that we need. In Matthew 22:37-40, Jesus put it this way, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

In other words, the Bible can be summed up in these two commands. Love God, love others…nothing more, nothing less.

What is your checklist for life? Can you articulate it, and do you follow it each day? Let us make sure that our moral compass points to true north, that our destination is known, and that each day of our trek of life is lived with integrity. This will ensure a sure footing regardless of how rough the terrain may be.

For my checklist, click here: Checklist for a Successful Life.

Life at the Speed of Average

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When It’s Okay to Be Average…

So many people like to rush into things and attempt to accomplish everything at once. While this is exciting and enticing, it is also why so many people quickly burn out and abandon their resolutions and goals.

Many people have asked me, how do you keep up with a daily podcast along with your other responsibilities? I have to admit, it was not always easy, but, for now, I am committed to a five day per week podcast. It takes being consistently persistent in the small things of life to achieve what appears to be great results. You can even move a mountain one stone at a time, as long as you are consistently persistent for a very long period of time.

I certainly have no extraordinary abilities or talents. I am a fairly average person, but I have a desire and drive and choose to move one stone at a time from the mountains that stand in front of me. You too can be average and still be a mountain mover. Let’s look at what can be accomplished even if you feel that you are considered average.

I was an average student who grew up very poor on an apple orchard. I did not allow being “average” to hold me back. Through being consistently persistent, I have written nearly 1 million words within the daily journals in preparation for the podcast over the past 19 months. An initial glance it does look like a huge undertaking but it was accomplished by writing a few pages each day consistently.

Due to the nature of our consulting work and other projects, I do not have the luxury to hide away in a remote location and write, record, edit, and publish the daily podcast and journals in batches, but like our trek of life, I take it one day at a time. It reminds me of a little booklet that I read many years ago called “Little Is Much When God Is In It.” The premise of the book is to be faithful in the small everyday tasks, and you will be able to accomplish much. It’s okay to be average as long as you are faithful and consistently persistent in the small tasks of life.

This concept holds true for all areas of your life. For example, anyone can feel a burst of inspiration, head to the gym, and push themselves really hard for a single workout. That’s maximum speed but will produce little result long-term. Instead, what if you had a slower paced workout, but averaged 4 days per week in the last month? How about the last three months? Or the last year? What has your average speed been? Your long-term results will be much greater if you are consistent over an extended period of time, even if each day did not include an intense workout.

This principle holds true for your work habits, your eating habits, your relationship habits, and virtually every other area of your life. Here’s the surprising thing about average speed…It doesn’t take very long for average speed to produce incredible results.

So often we waste our time and energy thinking that we need a monumental effort to achieve anything significant. We tell ourselves that we need to get amped up on motivation and desire. We think that we need to work harder than everyone else. While I am all for continual improvement, it does not take herculean efforts to see huge results over a long period of time.

The natural question that follows from all of this is, “How do I increase my average speed?” Last year I read an article written by blogger James Clear where he wrote “Habit Graduation: How to Increase Your Average Speed.” In other words, graduating from your current habit level to one level higher. Basically, habit graduation is about increasing your average speed.

Here are some examples…

  • If your average speed is eating three healthy meals per week, can you “graduate” that to one healthy meal per day?
  • If your average speed is exercising once per week, can you “graduate” that to twice per week?
  • If your average speed is to only read spiritual or inspirational materials once per week, can you “graduate” to three times per week?

We all have an average speed when it comes to our habits. And, if we’re honest with ourselves, that average speed might be much slower than we’d like.

The truth is, anyone can get motivated and push themselves for one day, but very few people maintain a consistent effort every week without fail.

In your health, your work, and your life, it doesn’t require a massive effort to achieve incredible results — just being consistently persistent over a period of time.

This reminds me of the parable from Matthew 25:20-21, “The servant to whom he had entrusted the five bags of silver came forward with five more and said, ‘Master, you gave me five bags of silver to invest, and I have earned five more.’ The master was full of praise. ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!”

Remember in your life if you are consistently persistent even at an average speed, you can move mountains. Let us work on increasing our average speed gradually at the same time.