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The Only Constant In Life Is Change

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As we trek through each day, we need to understand that we will never be in this exact same situation with these conditions. We need to make the most of every moment and never lose this opportunity.

As the Quaker Missionary Etienne de Grellet put it, “I shall pass this way but once; any good that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being; let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”  These are certainly some powerful thoughts to ponder as we start today.

“Change is the only constant in life” is a quote that is attributed to pre-Socratic Greek philosopher Heraclitus of Ephesus around 500BC. The same philosopher illustrated the point about change being ever present by saying “No man ever steps into the same river twice.” An ever flowing river is there and even has a name, yet the water in it keeps changing so that from one second to the next it is really a different river.

As I reflect on the times I am able to invest with my dad as he ages, I remember that throughout my parents’ lives, although they would have liked things to stay the same, they embraced the changes in life. It just brought to my mind how my mom wanted to drive positive change in local public education, so she ran for and was elected to the school board for several terms. Another example was when Mom was in her late fifties, and she trained and became an EMT for the local rescue squad after she felt helpless when an elderly friend died when she was with him. Dad was always learning and changing in his work away from the farm, and he was constantly looking for ways to grow apples better while maintaining the conviction to grow them organically.

I believe observing their lives was an example to welcome and even embrace change. As I consider why it is relatively easy for me to accept change, I ask myself why people are so afraid and so resistant to inevitable changes in their lives.

We expect the night to change to day, seasons to change, and children to grow taller. We expect to grow older, to watch children marry, to retire from our jobs, and to play with our grandchildren.

We all face changes every day whether it is a simple change of the weather, our schedule, or food choices each day. We each deal with change in a different way, and change affects us each differently as well. For the most part, we are generally left to deal with the daily ebb and flow of life and are contented with the small changes we see and make every day.

However, sometimes there is a change that jumps out of nowhere and totally shakes us to the core. These can be job changes, marriage, illness, the birth of a child, a recent empty nest, or even something as major as the death of a loved one – all of which have a different magnitude of how they impact your life. No matter the change we experience, how we embrace that change will forever impact how we are able to live with the change.

Just as my parents were the catalyst for accepting change in my life, as adults we need to model ways of handling change that will be absorbed by the children and youth around us. When we shape or adapt our own problem-solving behaviors and coping strategies, we show others how being flexible and adaptive is a positive approach to getting through a life-changing event.

“Every day may not be good, but there’s something good in every day.”

You might consider the following questions to help you discover the skills to help with when you are faced with major changes:

    1.) What is your usual emotional reaction to a big change in your life? Does it overwhelm you; do you tend to withdraw from others, or do you become a social butterfly?
  1. 2.) What personal values and beliefs will sustain you through a crisis? Does a huge change shake your faith or make it stronger?
  1. 3.) What coping strategies do you have to help you manage unexpected life changes? Have you considered how you would handle major changes?
  1. 4.)What new skills can help in the future? Are you willing to learn from your own past experiences and the experiences of others?

If you have planned in advance when you are going through change, then you find different ways to handle and embrace change. Personally, I turn to my faith and find an inner strength with which the Lord has grace me. I turn to His Word for comfort and peace. But no matter where you turn or how you cope with change, you must find a way to deal with the changes in life.

Consider first that not all change is bad. In fact, all change can bring some positive results. You need to look for the positives despite seemingly negative consequences from change.

Having a positive outlook will totally change your perspective. Life is what you make it, and change is no different! In fact, the only thing we can count on in life is that change will be constant! This is a very disconcerting revelation for people that consider themselves resistant to change!

It is not difficult to forget that life will always be changing. We face something new every moment of the day! We need to embrace the changes that life has in store for us. We just have to always keep in mind that life truly is what we make of it.

The reason that we can remain strong and embrace all change is that we know and understand that He who created the world knows our future, and He does not change. So, we do not need to fear it.

Our lives may be filled with change, but as Jesus’s half brother James wrote in James 1:16-18, “So don’t be misled, my dear brothers and sisters. Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession.” 

The Secret Sauce of Success – Part 2

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The Additional Ingredients for Success

As I mentioned in our previous Wisdom Note, I believe that everyone desires to be successful in life, but what success means to you may be completely different than what it means to me. Regardless of what you view as success, there is a “recipe” that contains 20 special ingredients that will help you to be successful in any area of your life. If you missed the previous Wisdom Note with the first 10 ingredients, be sure to read it as well. This week I will provide you with the final 10 ingredients that you will need in your life to be successful. 

  • 11.) You have to deliver results when making excuses is an option. – To be successful, you cannot fall prey to making excuses as is so readily done today.  Take responsibility for your actions, and do everything with excellence.  As I have worked with team members within our businesses throughout the years, and with my own children, I have tried to emphasize that in everything I expected results, not excuses.  “Even when you fail, don’t become a victim. Be a victor.”  The only way to learn how to ride a horse is to get back on every time you fall off. “It’s easier to go ahead and succeed than it is to spend all the time and energy it takes making excuses,” Jim Rohn. Success = No Excuses.
  • 12.) You have to search for your own explanations even when you’re told to accept the “facts.” – To be successful, it is not always wise to just accept what you have been told, even if it is supposedly a fact. Discover the results for yourself. Forge a new path on your trek of life. “Discoveries are often made by not following instructions; by going off the main road; by trying the untried,” Frank Tyger.
  • 13.) You have to make mistakes and look like an idiot. – There is nothing wrong with making honest mistakes, even if it casts you in a negative light. A life of making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. Although none of us want to look like an idiot, we need to put away our pride and the façade that we try to portray to makes us look better. We should not be afraid of making mistakes, but be afraid if we are not learning from those mistakes. “Through mistakes and learning from them, we gain experience and wisdom.” Face it. You are going to make mistakes in life. It’s what you do after the mistakes that really counts. So, get over yourself and pursue success. In his letter to the dispersed Jews, Christ’s half-brother James put it this way in Chapter 3 verse 2,“Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.”
  • 14.) You have to try and fail and try again. – The only lasting failure that we will have in life is if we fail to try. You will not become a permanent failure unless you are satisfied with being one. “Mistakes are the stepping stones on our trail of life.” Celebrate when you fail, for then you will know one more trail that did not lead you to your destination. You will only be poor if you allow yesterday’s failures to bankrupt tomorrow’s efforts. One of my virtual mentors, Zig Ziglar said it well, “Failure is an event, not a person. Yesterday ended last night and today is a brand new day.”
  • 15.) You have to run faster even though you’re out of breath. – No runner quits when they are out of breath, for they realize that if they run, maybe even faster, it will not be too long before they get their second wind. It is a physical and psychological fact. It is the pain of losing that first wind that needs to drive you onto success. Run for the prize.
  • 16.) You have to be kind to people who have been cruel to you. – Some people are just cruel and unkind. That is a fact in life. We should never treat them in the same manner. Yes, sometimes those people will cause us to be angry, which is understandable, but that never gives us the right to be cruel. We will never be successful long term if we are cruel to others. When Christ taught us the Golden Rule he put it this way,“Do to others as you would like them to do to you. If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them! And if you do good only to those who do good to you, why should you get credit? Even sinners do that much!” “Be kind. You never know what battle others are fighting.”
  • 17.) You have to meet deadlines that are unreasonable and deliver results that are unparalleled. – To obtain a level of success you must not only meet deadlines, you must exceed expectations of those you are serving. Don’t be content with doing only what is expected. Do more and do it with excellence. It’s the horse that finishes a neck ahead that wins the race.
  • 18.) You have to be accountable for your actions even when things go wrong. – Personal responsibility is so important for success. Be willing to accept the results of your actions, good or bad. Don’t blame others if you fail. Be fully accountable for your own life. If others are to blame then you have given them control. Success is putting aside our pride, accepting responsibility, and then making it right.
  • 19.) You have to keep moving towards where you want to be no matter what’s in front of you. – As we have talked before about the obstacles that appear on the trails of life, we need to keep moving forward. Find a way over, under, around, or through every obstacle that you encounter. That is the stuff life is made of. “If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.” You measure the size of the accomplishment by the obstacles you had to overcome to reach your goals.
  • 20.) The secret sauce to winning is all the other 19 points blended with sweat equity. – Our last ingredient in our Secret Sauce of Success is the blending of the previous 19 ingredients into the sweat equity that allows us to accomplish our success.
Success never comes easy. It will cause you to sweat. Many times it is actually blood, sweat, and tears before success. I know that has been true in my life. Be willing to mix these 20 crucial ingredients together, and you will possess the Secret Sauce of Success.

The Secret Sauce of Success – Part 1

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The Primary Ingredients for Success

I believe that everyone desires to be successful in life, but what success means to you may be completely different than what it means to me. Regardless of what you view as success, there is a “recipe” that contains 20 special ingredients that will help you to be successful in any area of your life. Our next two Wisdom Notes will provide you with the ingredients that you will need in your life to be successful. 

  • 1.) You have to make decisions you’re afraid to make. – All of us have fear to a certain extent. Some people are less risk tolerant than others, but unless the decision will cause bodily harm or death to you or others, then you should make the difficult and fearful decisions. Move forward with a decision based on the knowledge and experience you have at that point. “Remember, not making a decision, is a decision.” From a Biblical perspective, fear should not be an overriding character trait in us, especially if you are a person of faith. In 2 Timothy 1:7 the Apostle Paul wrote to his protégé Timothy, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”
  • 2.) You have to get up earlier than you want to get up. – As a morning person, this is not a significant problem for me, but for my wife Paula, it is much more difficult. I have long since learned that she will never be a morning person, and that is fine. It’s not that you have to get up early every day, but to be successful, you must get up earlier than you would really like to. Most mornings, I desire to sleep longer. I think most people do, but it takes sacrifice to live a successful life.
  • 3.) You have to give more than you get in return right away. – ” If you only give to get in return, then success will elude you.” The principle of life is that you have to give first before you will see a return. Proverbs 11:25 puts it this way, “The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.”
  • 4.) You have to care more about others than they care about you. – If your desire for success is driven by selfishness, then you will be frustrated most of the time and probably not be successful long term. In all areas of life, we should care for others just because of our concern for them. This is true in both personal and business capacities. The rules are always the same for both. Philippians 2:3 reads, “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”
  • 5.) You have to fight when you are already injured, bloody, and sore. – If you quit when things get rough, then you will not be able to achieve success. You must be willing to fight for your dreams and goals. You need to be willing to overcome life’s obstacles. You need to continue on even when your strength is small.
  • 6.) You have to feel unsure and insecure when playing it safe seems smarter. – Even the most successful people in life feel unsure and insecure much of the time. What allows a person to be successful and to push through those feelings to achieve the results desired? Have the confidence to carry on when others would quit.
  • 7.) You have to lead when no one else is following you yet. – This is a difficult one. Most of us would like to have a tribe to lead before we begin leading. We need to lead for a cause that we believe in, and then our tribe will come to us. Proverbs 12:24 says to, “Work hard and become a leader; be lazy and become a slave.” Hard work proceeds leading. Follow this pattern for success.
  • 8.) You have to invest in yourself even though no one else is. – You cannot expect others to invest in your growth if you are unwilling to first invest in yourself. “Your growth and success are your responsibility.” Even if no one else ever invests in you, it is always worth investing in yourself.
  • 9.) You have to look like a fool while you’re looking for answers you don’t have. – If you allow your pride to get in the way, you will not succeed long term. We all look foolish at times. As long as you don’t make a habit of being a fool, then looking foolish once in a while is both a humbling and a growing experience.
  • 10.) You have to grind out the details when it’s easier to shrug them off. – We will always be tempted to take the path of least resistance, but that will rarely bring success. The old saying is that the devil is in the details, which means it is the small details of a task that makes it difficult. But, they are most important. JW Marriot put it this way, “It’s the little things that make the big things possible. Only close attention to the fine details of any operation makes the operation first class.” And, the Bible in Luke 16:10 mentions how important it is for us to be honest with ourselves when it comes to the small details, “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.”
In our next note, we will explore 10 more ingredients that go into the Secret Sauce for Success! 

Living a Life of Significance

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Making Your Life Count

As we continue to adjust our lives and schedules to include the significant impact that our granddaughter Hazel’s leukemia is having on our world, it gives me a time to reflect on what is really important in life. That is why this Wisdom Note is titled “Living a Life of Significance.”

I believe all of us want to live a life of significance, knowing that we are making a positive impact on others and the world. The problem is that life for most of us is very hectic, and we have competing demands for our time, energy, and resources. Some days it is hard to keep our heads above water, and we constantly feel like we are being sucked into the whirlpool of life’s activities.

For these reasons, it is so important to live life intentionally and purposefully. Before Hazel’s leukemia diagnosis, I thought my schedule was jam packed, and that I could not add anything to it…and yet with this significant disruption in our lives, we are forced to choose what is most important, and realize that we have to let other things be dropped or delayed to a different season of life. It is with joy in our hearts that we accommodate these changes.

So how do can you live a life of significance?

If we are going to make this shift, we need to have an intentional mind shift from a life of activity to a life of purpose.  Begin living a more simplistic life, one where you take the time to stop and smell the roses along the trek of life and enjoy each day’s journey.

Living a simple life certainly requires intentionality. In a world that is hectic, busy, and hurried, simplicity is not. In a culture that encourages selfishness and excess, minimalism does not. And in a society that is rushing to gain more, satisfaction with less is counter-cultural.

To live an intentional life, we must begin by laying a proper foundation and then add practical steps on each day’s trek on top of it.

First, find a solid path for life.

  • Realize that your life is made up of choices. Every morning is a new day full of decisions and opportunities. You get to pick your attitude and your decisions. You don’t have to let the circumstances of your past negatively determine the pattern of your life in the future. You have a choice in the matter. You do not need to be stuck in the same pattern of living that you have been for years. Realize that every morning is a new opportunity. Thinking of this brings to my mind the Bible verses in Lamentations that we can rest in. Chapter 3 verses 22 and 23 read,

“The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease.
Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.”

  • Evaluate the path you are taking and the tribe of people that you are trekking with. Life is not lived in a vacuum. You are on a certain path and live surrounded by a tribe with its own culture that is moving somewhere. This tribe and its culture form a steep downhill slope. Living an intentional life will require you to take a step off of the trail and evaluate the path you are on to determine where it is heading, how it is affecting you, and if it is taking you in a direction you desire. We can get guidance to make these decisions as we read in Psalm 32:8 the Lord says,

“I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.
I will advise you and watch over you.”

  • Examine yourself. Know who you are. Get a strong handle on your passions, talents, abilities, and weaknesses. Focus your time and energy on this endeavor. It is one of the most valuable things you can do. God has given all of us abundant abilities and we should use those skills, just as the Prophet Daniel did as mentioned in Chapter 6:3,

“Daniel soon proved himself more capable than all the other administrators and high officers. Because of Daniel’s great ability, the king made plans to place him over the entire empire.”

Second, add practical steps.

  • Decide to live your life. Stop comparing yourself to others. You were not born to live their lives. There is no sense wasting your life being jealous of someone else. Instead, you were born to live your life. Determine today to be good at it. After all, you only get one shot. As Proverbs 14:30 puts it,

“A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer in the bones.”

  • Define a purpose. Identify what you want your life to communicate and what impact you desire to make on your world. Find a passion to live for that is bigger than yourself. Write it down. It will bring new meaning to your life. It will wake you from the slow death of only living for yourself. Matthew put it this way when he spoke of Christ in Chapter 20:28,

“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

  • Set goals. Goals move us, and goals shape us. Set goals that are directly in line with your defined purpose. Goals do not need to be grand they just need to fit your season of life.  By their very nature, they will introduce intentionality into your life. In Paul’s 1st letter to the church in Thessalonica 4:11 he stated,

“Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before.”

  • Stay focused. We live in a world of constant connectivity and distraction that is begging for our attention nearly every moment of the day. On this trek of life, learn to take the paths less traveled. Turn off the distraction and live your life instead. Take time to enjoy the simple pleasures that everyday life can bring you, if you are still enough to see them. Travel light when you can and remove nonessential physical belongings that are robbing you of time and energy that could be better spent living intentionally. Hebrews 12:1 encourages us,

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.”

  • Learn from others. Successful people are curious people. They possess the humility to learn from others. Identify people accomplishing their purposes and goals. Then, study them and learn from them. As the Apostle Paul wrote in his 2nd letter to his protégé Timothy in Chapter 1 verse 13,

“Hold on to the pattern of wholesome teaching you learned from me—a pattern shaped by the faith and love that you have in Christ Jesus.”

The worst thing you could ever waste is your life. We all bring value to our world and indeed the entire world. Instead, commit yourself to living intentionally and on purpose. It is then we can say that we are living a life of significance. Living a life of significance draws us closer to God and help to conform each of us as His image bearers. 

Hazel is responding well to her treatments, and the doctors are encouraged with her progress.  The chemo and steroid treatments are starting to take their expected toll on her little body. She has swollen up significantly and is losing her trademark red hair.  We realize that these results are temporary, but it is difficult to watch Hazel suffering. Through it all she has times where she is happy and smiling. I would appreciate continued prayers for Hazel and her family.

#basilforhazel
basilforhazel.org

The Mountains and Valleys of Life

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Trekking through Life

In this Wisdom Note, we will compare how taking a hike or trek has so many analogies to our daily trek of life.

As we consider this analogy, most often it comes to our minds that we want to be on the mountaintops all the time and avoid the deep valleys at all cost. What we may fail to realize is that in order to reach the summit of a mountain, we have to traverse upwards on many rough and winding trails. Once we do reach the mountain tops, if we desire to continue on with life, then we must move forward, which will require that we head back down into the valleys of life.

Climbing high mountains in life can be just as difficult and challenging as when we feel we are in the lowest of valleys.

Most of us do tend to associate difficult times in our lives with the idea of being in a valley. Maybe it’s a time of depression or despair. Maybe you’ve lost your job or are struggling financially. Maybe your job performance is just suffering. Maybe it’s a relationship that is broken and appears to be shattered.

I prefer to look at life more as seasons than mountains and valleys. Each of us experiences the upward climbs and the downward slopes, sometimes multiple times each day. There are seasons of life that are hard, terribly hard. During the difficult times, it seems our world is pitch black, and we are stuck in the valley of despair. We don’t know if a new day will dawn, or if the sun will ever peak above the next mountain. How should we handle these situations?

I realize there are some that have been mired in the valley for years, but that is usually the exception. One personal practice that I try to remember when times are difficult is to ask myself the question, “What crisis was I having or what was I worrying about last year on this same day?” Usually, I have no clue. Then I remind myself, so shall it be next year. The momentary crisis of today will pass like the storm in the night, and soon we will see a new day dawning with all of its glorious radiance.

One truth that we tend to forget is if we want to reach the summit, climbing the mountain is also challenging. It may mean that we indeed need to make that difficult climb in order to see the sun.

As we travel between North Carolina and Ohio many times each year, we pass through the entire length of West Virginia. While the mountains in WV are not nearly as tall as the Rockies, there are ravines between the mountains that are so close together they receive very little sun. So, if you live up one of those hollers, then you do have to climb the mountain to see the sun. So it is with life. If you find yourself in constant shadows, you may need to make the difficult choices and change your circumstances so that you will see and feel the warm sunlight on your face.

If you find yourself in a valley and at the base of the mountain, start climbing. But, realize that in order to reach the top, you will have to put forth more effort to climb than to remain wallowing in the mire of the valley floor. Be resolute. Be prepared. And, keep climbing. You will never see the beauty of the mountain peak unless you are willing to put in the effort of the climb.

The times of success and ease in your life, when it appears that God’s blessings are being showered on you, can be just as challenging as the times in the valleys, just in a different way. The upward climb is actually much more difficult than heading back into the valley, but it is so worth the effort. If you learn and gain wisdom from each mountain top and valley experience, then each climb will take you a little higher, and each descent into a valley will not be as deep.

The truth is whether you are climbing the mountains or descending into the valleys, life may be difficult. The times when we get to rest on the mountain tops can be grand, so learn to relax, enjoy, and celebrate those times. The times when we are in the valleys are just as important, so learn to reflect, enjoy, and learn from those times.

Mountains and valleys are the realities of life. This challenges an immature line of thinking that many of us cling to – that life one day will be easy. If you learn from and apply the lessons of life, there may be seasons of rest and enjoyment, but if you are waiting to move onto easy street permanently…if it is your life’s ambition to find ease and comfort, you’re going to be waiting a long time.

Winston Churchill put it this way, “Mountaintops inspire leaders; valleys mature them.”

As a follower of Christ in times of difficulty or ease, I go to the source of all wisdom, The Bible, for strength and peace. Today let’s look at a Psalm that King David penned. Psalm 121 helps us on our trek of life.

“I look up to the mountains—
does my help come from there?
My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth!

He will not let you stumble;
the one who watches over you will not slumber.
Indeed, he who watches over Israel
never slumbers or sleeps.

The Lord himself watches over you!
The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.
The sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon at night.

The Lord keeps you from all harm
and watches over your life.
The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go,
both now and forever.”

This passage allows us to realize that we are not on this trek alone. In addition to having each other to assist, we can depend on God to have our best interest in mind.

Regardless of how high your mountains or how deep your valleys Keep Moving Forward, Enjoy Your Journey, and Create a Great Day Everyday!