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Life Is Not a Spectator Sport

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As 2017 comes to an end this week, and we look forward to the New Year it is a time to reflect on how the year went and what changes need to be made. Some outcomes this year we had direct control over, other situations we had no control at all. As with all of life, we can choose to sit passively by and allow life to happen to us, or we can be actively engaged and shape the life that we desire. Either way, life will continue, and we cannot afford to be just a spectator.

While our life seems to be full most days, I have to admit there are some days when I wish it were a bit slower. I can’t help but feel like a slower pace would allow me to check out and not have to deal with what appears to be competing demands. I remind myself, though, that most of these activities are of my own choosing, and that if I had to do it all over again, I would probably make the same choices.

But, that does not stop the desire to step back and become a spectator in life instead of being so actively involved. However, I know “life is not a spectator sport” and to fulfill my destiny in life I must be actively involved. This applies to you and those around you as well. For some people, this will be on a large, grand scale impacting thousands, but for others, it will be on a small intimate scale, impacting a few. Both are equally important.

Although I am very much an optimist, I am also very much a realist. I understand fully that it’s not always easy to get through this thing we call life. If we allow it, day after day we are bombarded with constant negative images. We are told we are too fat, too lazy, too dumb, too old, too ugly, too far behind the rest of the world, and so on. And sadly, there are people in this world who derive pleasure from keeping others down.

For those who allow it, the world can be a scary, cold, and unwelcoming place. The world can be a place where we are afraid to take on challenges, try new things, express who we really are, or act like ourselves. As a result, it is important, imperative even, that each of us takes an active role in determining how our life is going to play out, and specifically, what role we are going to play in it – a starring role, a supporting role, or that of a spectator. The first two are equally admirable; however, the third role is one that requires us to have a change of mindset.

Growing up, one of the highlights of our weeks that were otherwise filled with work and school was our Sunday nights when we would all sit around the TV, eat popcorn, and watch The Wonderful World of Disney. We rarely missed it.

That memory got me thinking of another Disney story – The Hunchback of Notre Dame and its main character Quasimodo. We learn that he views life from the cathedral bell tower high above the village square too afraid to be a participant in the festivities and everyday happenings going on below and all around him.

His conscious decision to be a “spectator,” due to his various insecurities (most resulting from the abusive behavior of the reprehensible Judge Frollo) and a major deformity. That decision means he is missing out on even the most trivial joys that may be found “out there.”

That is until Laverne, one of “Quasi’s” trusted gargoyle confidantes, gives him a boot in the pants by imparting these words of wisdom, “Take it from an old spectator, life’s not a spectator sport. If watchin’ is all you’re gonna do, then you’re gonna watch life go by without ya!” And with this simple message, Quasimodo begins to realize that it is his choice whether to be a participant or “spectator” to take an active role in his life or a passive one, to give someone else power over him or not, is all up to him. It is his choice!

Just like in the case of Quasimodo, how our lives turn out and how much we participate, simply put, is our choice!

If you aren’t growing, you are dying. This isn’t philosophy. It is logic, really. The only time we cease to grow is upon death. Till then, in some measure, we grow.

Reading the logic, conversely, it simply says that if we have ceased to proactively grow, we have begun to proactively die or at least kill a part of us.

So therein lies an answer to life. Making an impact on others by pouring our lives into them is the only way to lasting satisfaction in life. Satisfaction, joy, and peace come when you are making positive progress in your own life and enhancing the lives of others.

Stagnation occurs when you are waiting for things to change without being a force for change. If you are of this mindset, you will assume a victim mindset – one that is full of blame, pity, and excuses. You will end up wallowing in the pigsty of self-doubt and misery.

The famous baseball player Jackie Robinson said it this way, “Life is not a spectator sport. If you’re going to spend your whole life in the grandstand just watching what goes on, in my opinion, you’re wasting your life.”

Like it or not, life is in progress. It’s not waiting. You may be a spectator. That doesn’t mean that the game isn’t on. It simply means that you are so scared to lose, you rather just watch.

There are no guarantees in life, no sure trail that we will be on. None of us can know for sure that we will wake up for tomorrow’s trek. Everything else except for the present moment is uncertain. Wouldn’t it be wiser to live fully, to make a difference today?

Don’t wait for conditions to be right to start helping others. Don’t blame others for your life situation. Don’t pity yourself that you are not actively participating. We have limited moments in this lifetime, and they are quickly passing by.

Don’t be a spectator, watching the lives of others advance. Regardless of your physical or financial situation, you can actively participate in life and in the lives of others. Wouldn’t it be wiser to live fully and to make a difference today?

If you are a Christ follower, as I am, don’t hide behind your faith as an excuse for not participating in the lives of others. Show your faith by actively participating in life. Follow the instructions found in the letter James wrote to the believers in Chapter 2 verses 14 through 17, “What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone? Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, and you say, ‘Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well’—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do? So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless.”

In 2018 commit yourself to live a life that is full and abundant. Actively participate in life each day. Don’t be a spectator, be a participant. It’s a wonderful life.

12 Reasons to Choose Love Over Fear – Part 1

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It is always timely to reflect on God who because of His love for us chose to take on a human body and dwell among us so we do not have to fear eternity. So in our next two Wisdom Notes, we will explore 12 reasons to choose love over fear.

Life is like an unpredictable whirlwind of activities, people, thoughts, and feelings. The trails of life are rough for everyone at some point, and it can be all too tempting to want to stay in our homes and give into the lies of fear. We imagine the great obstacles ahead of us and think, “I’m never going to make it. It is all too much for me. I will stumble and fall.”

We are each given the chance every day to choose between two trails at various times and seasons in life – the trails of fear or love. The way to live a rich and satisfying life of freedom is through love.

1. Love is a natural pathway and provides motivation to travel towards something you can gain.

If you’re excited about an opportunity ahead of you, it shows you recognize there’s something to gain from it. This opportunity to gain – whether it’s a new job, a valuable business partner, a new place to call home, or a romantic relationship – will be fully realized when you are acting through love. Embrace the sacrifices necessary to achieve your goal, and forget that fear was ever there.

Vince Lombardi, the famous football coach, reminds us that in order to be successful, we must embrace the kind of hard work that we love. He says, “The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand.”

2. If you truly love something or someone, you will continue working towards success.

Despite the appearance that some people have it all together, life’s trek is not easy for anyone. The truth is anyone who has established long-lasting success in life had to continually fight for it until success arrived. The exact same will be true of your story. Nothing that lasts comes easily, and nothing that’s easy will last. Allow your love for your quest to keep you fueled as you encounter hardships and rigorous trails.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once remarked about the need to collectively continue working towards success, saying, “Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable…Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals.”

3. Love requires sacrifice, and if you are willing to sacrifice for what you love, you will grow exponentially.

When we find something we love in life, it requires sacrifice. The magnificent summits, people, and trails that we traverse in life are almost always the result of intentional sacrifice. We need to give something up in order to get something greater. Henry Ford once said, “One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” Let the power of your love for your journey overtake any fear that claims you’re incapable of making the necessary sacrifices.

4. When you begin something great, it is because you “fell in love” with your project. Keep this mindset at the forefront of your actions.

Our brains possess an incredible power that awakens when we strike out to succeed at something we love. When we’re committed to achieving something we truly desire, it makes the work far simpler – a leisurely walk on a wide and flat trail. We become so enticed by our goals and results that our internal drive finds a way to make it happen.

Your goals exist for a reason and for a season. They motivate with a keen love for your work. Famous author Jack Canfield says, “Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take to get them closer to the fulfillment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them.” Let the fact that you “fell in love” with your goal or project guide your steps toward success.

5. Biologically speaking, the human brain is more likely to respond to something positive than something negative. Choosing love will guide your brain positively.

On a simple biological level, your brain responds with greater clarity and vision when thinking about something positive rather than something negative. This is why it’s a fundamental human inclination to listen to people who agree with us, rather than people who speak from a different point of view. Take a moment to reflect on how diving head first into a project you love will keep your brain focused on positive action.

Speaking of action, Confucius offers sage advice when you encounter unexpected roadblocks with your goals, “When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.” It’s better to keep your path flexible than to give in to fear and abandon it entirely.

6. Fear will darken and cloud your path, but love will broaden and enlighten it.

Embracing your fear towards a project or goal will only hamper your ability to move forward. Concentrating on love will show you that anything is possible if you care enough to make it happen. As Franklin D. Roosevelt would say, “There is nothing to fear but fear itself.” Don’t let fear have any place on your path towards success!

Jesus’s closest friend the Apostle John puts it best when he describes perfect love that expels all fear in 1 John 4:16-19, “We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the Day of Judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. We love each other because he loved us first.”

10 Signposts for Establishing Positive Habits

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In today’s Wisdom Note, we will study the 10 signposts along the trail that will help us to infuse positive habits into our lives. These habits will benefit us when we face the difficult and rough areas of life’s trails. As these habits are woven into the fabric of our lives, they will help us navigate the rough parts of the trail that we encounter with less difficulty and stress.

It’s tough to argue against the power of positive habits that come through consistent positive thinking. A multitude of studies, data, and anecdotal evidence support the notion that optimists experience less stress, possess stronger immune systems, and have overall better health than their “Debby Downer” counterparts. But it’s not always easy to look on the bright side. In our overbooked and over-connected lives, getting caught up in a cycle of worry, anxiety, and negative thoughts is a norm in many of our lives.

One of the many wonderful things about positive habits is that anyone can acquire positivity with the consistent and persistent practice of these habit traits, and a good sense of humor always helps.

As a start, we need to practice not taking ourselves too seriously. Most other people in our lives don’t either. It is certainly worthwhile to visit the 10 signposts for establishing positive habits each day. Take control over your thinking, your habits, and your own happiness with these.

1. Practice Gratitude

Remembering all the good things that you have makes it a whole lot easier not to focus on what you don’t have. Be thankful and appreciate the abundance in your life rather than dwelling on what feels lacking. Practicing gratitude is rule #1 for shifting your thinking from negative to positive.

Ephesians 5:20, “And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

2. Surround Yourself with Supportive People

Do all that you can to minimize your interaction with anyone who is a “Negative Nancy” or a “Negative Ned.” Creating an inner circle filled with support and encouragement is the next step. Having people around who see the best in you will help you see the best in yourself. Jesus had his own inner circle, even among the small group of the 12 apostles. Many times Jesus took Peter, James, and John alone with him. Two of the most memorable times were at His transfiguration in Matthew 17:1 and during His hours of anguish before his trial and crucifixion in Matthew 26:37.

3. Ditch the Drama

Separate from your toxic friends and associates. Say goodbye to those friends that always have drama in their lives and suck you into their manufactured issues and end up bringing you down. Minimizing negative energy in your environment is a prerequisite to overcoming negativity in your thinking.

4. Take Responsibility

The easiest way to fall into the negativity trap is by making yourself a victim. But on the flipside, to take responsibility for your own actions is to take charge of your own happiness. Remind yourself daily that although you may not be able to control what happens to you, you are always in charge of your reactions.

5. Success Comes in Cans, Not in Cannots

This one may take practice, but it really works. Change your sentence structure from negative to positive (from “Why do I always get the bad work assignments?” to “It might not have been what I hoped, but I know if I do good work then my next assignment will be better.”). How we view life is largely based on our perspective and perception. Make a concerted effort to see challenges as opportunities, and watch as doors open where there were none before.

6. Be Kind

Getting into the habit of being kind and forgiving to others will help you extend the same courtesy to yourself. And when you’re a friend to yourself, it’s a whole lot easier to forgive yourself for your mistakes and cultivate a positive outlook for your future. Being kind to everyone in every situation is one of the easiest ways to establish positive habits in your life.

Galatians 6:7, “Don’t be misled — you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant.”

7. Find The Silver Lining

Most events and situations aren’t inherently good or bad. We just project those descriptions onto them. This means that we have a great deal of power over how we choose to view whatever comes our way, deciding to focus on the positive is a powerful way to take charge in your life.

8. Slow Down

Daily yoga or exercise even if it is not very extensive or committing to 10 minutes of meditation or prayer before bed each night can go a long way in helping you slow down your mind so that you can observe and recognize your thought patterns. Even just taking a walk in nature or reminding yourself to breathe deeply can help reset your brain and clear out unnecessary worries.

9. Set Your Own Standards

To take charge and responsibility for your daily lives you must develop positive habits. Instead of worrying what other people think of you and trying to live up to their standards, decide for yourself who you want to be and what you want to accomplish. Taking responsibility for your own path will give you a boost of confidence and self-esteem that makes the future and the present seem brighter.

10. Remember to Laugh

Laughing at yourself, seeking out opportunities to play and enjoy humor, and making others laugh can go a long way in creating an optimistic mindset. Laughter relieves stress and reminds you not to take life so seriously. Upon the rebuilding of the walls of Jerusalem, Nehemiah encouraged the people of Israel in chapter 8:10, “And Nehemiah continued, ‘Go and celebrate with a feast of rich foods and sweet drinks, and share gifts of food with people who have nothing prepared. This is a sacred day before our Lord. Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!’”

Our trail today was packed with great nuggets of wisdom. Every day review these 10 signposts or habits for a positive life, and you will find that your life has indeed changed.

Affirmation Without Discipline Is Delusion

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There are many motivational speakers and coaches that promote using affirmations to keep us focused and motivated. While I am not against the concept of affirmations, affirmations by themselves will not affect any lasting change in your life. The problem is when you have an affirmation followed by no action, you are only deluding yourself. You must resolve to do something and then follow it up with action.

One of my virtual mentors is the late Jim Rohn is expressed it this way, “Affirmation without discipline is the beginning of delusion.” Jim Rohn’s also said, “Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.”

Once you have your affirmations for success and discipline yourself to take action, it is then you have just made the connection between dreaming and reality. Discipline takes you from wishing for success to achieving it. When you stay on life’s trek for a long period of time you can achieve any goal you set for yourself.

1. Action vs. Self-Delusion – What’s the Difference?

Knowledge fueled by emotion equals action. The action is the ingredient that ensures results. The principle is ‘for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction’. The key is there must be action taken. Only action can cause a reaction. Further, only positive action can cause a positive reaction.

Action

The whole world loves to watch those who make things happen, and it rewards them for causing waves of productive enterprise. I stress this because today I see many people who are really sold on affirmations, but don’t necessarily have the discipline to go along with the affirmation.

Let’s look at affirmations as our faith, and action as good deeds, which reminds me of the discourse Jesus’s half-brother James mentioned in his letter in James 2:18, “Now someone may argue, ‘Some people have faith; others have good deeds.’ But I say, ‘How can you show me your faith if you don’t have good deeds? I will show you my faith by my good deeds.’”

How true!

I have nothing against affirmations as a tool to create action. Repeated to reinforce a disciplined plan, affirmations can help create wonderful results. There is also a very thin line between faith and folly. You see, affirmations without action can be the beginnings of self-delusion. For your well-being, there is little worse than self-delusion.

The man who dreams of wealth and yet walks daily toward certain financial disaster and the woman who wishes for happiness and yet thinks thoughts and commits acts that lead her toward certain despair are both victims of the false hope which affirmations without action can manufacture. Why? Because words soothe and, like a narcotic, they lull us into a state of complacency. Remember this, “To make progress you must actually get started!”

This reminds me of another passage in James 1:22-24, “But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like.”

The key is to take a step today. Whatever the project, start today. Start clearing out a drawer of your newly organized desk today. Start setting your first goal today. Start listening to motivational programs today. Start a sensible weight-reduction plan today. Start calling on one tough customer a day today. Start putting money in your new “investment for fortune” account today. Write a long-overdue letter or email today. Anyone can! Even an uninspired person can start reading inspiring books.

Get some momentum going on your new commitment to a rich and satisfying life. See how many activities you can pile on your new commitment to the better life. Go all out! Break away from the downward pull of gravity. Start your thrusters going. Prove to yourself that the waiting is over and the hoping is past—that faith and action have now taken charge.

It’s a new day, a new beginning for your new life. With discipline, you will be amazed at how much progress you’ll be able to make. What have you got to lose except the guilt and fear of the past?

Now, I offer you this challenge. See how many things you can start and continue in this, the first day of your new beginning.

2. Action vs. Self-Delusion – Which Are You?

Are you self-delusional – a person that thinks “If I think it, it will come”? Do you have faith, but no good deeds? ACTION is the key.

Don’t be a person that delays action because you want to know everything before you get started. No circumstance or conditions will ever be perfect. If you wait to start something until you think you have all your ducks in a row. You’ll never start. In life, we’re forever learning. Therefore if you wait, you’ll never get to where you want to be. Take ACTION now! As King Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes 11:4, “Farmers who wait for perfect weather never plant. If they watch every cloud, they never harvest.”

You will learn that in the process of action, you fix your mistakes. If you fix your mistakes early, success comes faster.

Will today be the first day of your new beginning?

In our next Wisdom Note, we will explore 10 signposts for establishing positive habits.

Unchain Your Elephant

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Break Your Self-Limiting Belief

Picture with me today in our Wisdom Note that we are about to embark on a strenuous hike in the mountains. As we gaze up the trail, we see that it is very steep with many rocks, trees, and other obstructions in our way. Additionally, the trail is narrow with a solid rock face on one side and steep cliffs on the other.

As you look at the trail before you, you think to yourself, “I have never hiked on such a dangerous trail before. I don’t think I can do it.” Your thoughts continue, “After all, I have been told many times before that I am clumsy and that I never am able to complete tasks.” You convince yourself that maybe it would be better that you stay at camp today, or better yet, just quit altogether.

This is the type of thinking that limits so many people from achieving all that they could with their lives. If you are susceptible to this type of thinking, you will never to be able to reach your full potential to become all that God has destined for you. In our analogy today, we want to look at what causes these self-limiting beliefs and this “learned-helplessness” and determine how you can break free from the chains and shackles that bind you. So, let me share some interesting nuggets to help you today. You may have heard some of this information before, but it is always good to review and apply it anew to your life. This is the story of “unchaining your elephant.”

“Break free from the chains and shackles that bind you.”

Do you know what they do to keep a circus or zoo elephant from running away? They tie a metal chain onto a collar around the mighty elephant’s leg and tie it to a small wooden peg that’s hammered into the ground. The 10-foot tall, 11,000-pound hulk could easily snap the chain, uproot the wooden peg, and escape to freedom. But, it does not do that. In fact, it does not even try. The world’s most powerful animal, which is nimble enough to pick up a blade of grass with its trunk, can also uproot a tree as easily as you and I can break a toothpick, and yet they remain tied down by a small peg and a flimsy chain. How come?

It’s because when the elephant was a baby, its trainers used exactly the same methods. A chain was tied around its leg and the other end of the chain was tied to a metal stake on the ground. The chain and peg were strong enough for the baby elephant. When it tried to break away, the metal chain would pull it back. Sometimes, tempted by the world it could see in the distance, the elephant would pull harder. But, the chain would cut into the skin on the elephant’s leg, making it bleed, and creating a wound that would hurt the baby elephant even more. Soon, the baby elephant realized it was futile trying to escape. It stopped trying!

And now, when the big circus elephant is tied by a chain around its leg, it remembers the pain it felt as a baby. And, it does not try to break away. So, even though it’s just a chain and a little wooden peg, the elephant stands still. It remembers its limitations and knows that it can only move as much as the chain will allow. It does not matter that the metal stake has been replaced by a wooden peg. It does not matter that the 250-pound baby is now an 11,000-pound powerhouse. The elephant’s belief is what prevails.

If you think about it, we are all like the circus elephant. We all have incredible power inside us. We have it in us to take on the world and to accomplish just about anything that we desire. The unfortunate circumstance is that we also have our own chains and pegs. Our self-limiting beliefs that hold us back. Sometimes it’s a childhood experience or an early failure. Sometimes it’s something we were told when we were younger. Each of these things become our chain and peg, holding us back from doing what we are capable of and stopping us from achieving what is well within our power. It’s time then to ask the question, “What’s holding you back? What’s your chain and wooden peg?”

“We all have incredible power inside us, but our self-limiting beliefs hold us back.”

When we are young, many of us grow up on regular servings of “Don’t do that!” or “You can’t do it!” or “You are no good!” So, the chains around our minds become stronger, and we stop ourselves from aiming quite as high. We say “I can’t do it because…” and fill in our favorite excuses. Over time, these beliefs about our limitations become stronger and stronger. These self-limiting beliefs become chains that stop us from trying. Circumstances change, and metal poles get replaced by wooden pegs. But, we don’t recognize it. We stop trying. We give up without even trying.

In life, we often play the role of the elephant trainer, too, as parents, teachers, colleagues, or friends. When that happens, remember to handle your baby elephants with care! Don’t be overly critical. Don’t belittle them. Don’t chain them to a peg!

I think it’s partly due to my genetic makeup but also certainly from my upbringing, but I don’t suffer much from the elephant training syndrome. Although I am short at only 5’ 4” on a good day, in my mind’s eye, I see myself as someone who is 6’ or taller. I feel my parents did a good job of helping me to be realistic, though. I had dreams of playing quarterback in football, which is not really feasible for someone of my size and who has small hands. My parents guided me towards wrestling, instead, where I could effectively compete in the 105-pound weight class. We all need to visualize what we can be, not what we are today.

Keep in mind, we all have the strength of an elephant. Don’t let a mere chain-and-peg from your past hold you back. It’s a good idea to recognize what’s holding you back and then break the shackles of your self-limiting beliefs. It’s sad when we allow our achievements in life to be determined not by our strengths and our powers but by our self-limiting beliefs.

Within my faith walk, I also draw on my belief that God has made me special and has given me the talents and abilities that only I can use.

Philippians 4:13 encourages, “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.”

Although this is in reference to the salvation experience, the principle found in Matthew 19:26 still applies, “Jesus looked at them intently and said, ‘Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.’”

It’s time then to break free. Snap the chain. Smash the peg. Break your self-limiting belief. Set yourself free today! Don’t let your past dictate who you are, but let it be part of who you become.

In our next Wisdom Note, we will explore how to train your fleas.