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The Buck Stops Here

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In our previous Wisdom Note, we focused on mastering your discomfort. This week we will explore accepting responsibility, or in other words, “the buck stops here!” If you miss any of our Wisdom Notes please go to the blog to catch previous installments.

The whole space/time continuum really makes my head spin sometimes. What seems like a few days ends up being years, and the opposite is also true. That is certainly the case with the current worldwide pandemic. That is why it is so important to make sure that we are accountable for investing our time wisely to have the greatest positive impact as we are living our legacy each day. One trend, though, that appears to be growing in our modern world is the lack of accountability, especially when it comes to personal responsibility. Maybe it has always been an issue, but it seems that fewer and fewer people are willing to be responsible for their own actions in life. That is why our Wisdom Notes this week we will explore what it means when we hear the phrase…

The Buck Stops Here!

“The buck stops here” is a phrase that was popularized by U.S. President Harry S. Truman, who kept a sign with that phrase on his desk in the Oval Office. The phrase refers to the fact that the President has to make the decisions and accept the ultimate responsibility for those decisions.

It should be no different for each of us. We are ultimately responsible for our decisions. In other words, if you’re a parent, it’s time to act like a parent. If you’re a leader, then lead. If you want to be treated as an adult, then act your age. If you’re a politician, remember you weren’t elected to merely show up; you have a job to do. And if you’re not happy with your standing in life, don’t fault others. Success and happiness begin and end with personal responsibility.

· Take Charge of Your Life

Personal responsibility puts you in the driver’s seat to make the most out of your life. You have the freedom to choose the direction that you want to take, determine the choices that you’ll make, and decide how hard you’re willing to work to achieve your goals. The key is to personally “own” your life, rather than abdicating the responsibility to others. The fruits of your efforts are yours as well, to keep or share, to invest or spend.

Personal responsibility shouldn’t be a burden. It’s a blessing when you assume complete responsibility for your life’s successes and failures. We will all have our share of both. Hard work and commitment are required. If you want to lose weight, start with diet and exercise. If you want money for retirement, begin with a getting out of debt and committing to saving. If you want to be successful, you must possess the knowledge, integrity, work ethic, and determination to win. There is no genie in a bottle and “your ship is not going to come in” unless you build it.

· Get Motivated

Life is not a spectator sport, but some people sit on the sidelines and expect to be rewarded for the hard work and effort of others. If something goes well, they line up to receive the accolades. And if things go bad, they make excuses or find a scapegoat to pin the blame on. Life doesn’t work that way. If you’re not willing to make the personal investment and sacrifices required to be successful, then don’t complain when you don’t achieve success. Using the farmer’s analogy, if you don’t plant in the spring, don’t go looking for the crops in the fall. They won’t be there.

If you take a chance, and you succeed, you reap the rewards of your success. If you take a chance, and you fail, you have to accept the consequences. There are no guarantees in life and just because you’re willing to work hard for something, you still may not obtain success. Here is the key that you must understand, by accepting ownership rather than abdicating your responsibility, chances are you’ll get closer to your goals.

The fact is that the world doesn’t owe you anything. If you want something in life, you must work hard and earn it. Even then, you must be willing to accept the responsibility of the outcome, good or bad with humility and grace.

The fact is that the world doesn’t owe you anything. If you want something in life, you must work hard and earn it.

To have the possibility of success begins with a positive attitude. Here are some principles to get you on the right trail each day:

1. It’s your choice.

If you want your life to be different, change it. If you’re waiting for something to happen, it won’t without your efforts. It’s not enough to think about what you want to do, or worse yet complain. Get up and do something about it!

2. Believe in yourself.

One of the things that may be holding you back is a lack of self-confidence. If you don’t have the confidence in yourself, why should others? It may be time to invest in yourself so that you’re proud of who you are and what you represent.

3. Raise your game.

What additional skills do you need to achieve your dreams? Take an additional course, or do self-study if needed. Find a great role model to emulate. Turn every experience, especially failures, into a learning opportunity. In today’s ever-changing technology environment, if you’re not learning something new each day, you’re becoming obsolete.

4. Actions have consequences.

Think before you act. Then accept responsibility for your behavior. Remember, you own your choices. The decisions and choices that you make every day have consequences. In almost every situation, you are where you are today because of the choices you have made in the past. If you don’t like where you are, then from today forward make different and better choices and accept the responsibility for those choices.

5. Be accountable.

Give everything your best effort. When things go well, accept your well-deserved rewards, and when they don’t, make peace with it. Get back up and shake off the dust. Don’t point a finger when mistakes occur. Admit fault, learn from your mistake, and then keep moving forward.

6. Be self-reliant.

Everyone gets into a bind once in a while and may need a helping hand getting back up. That’s okay, and graciously accept it when it happens. Don’t let it translate into a life of dependency. If you break a leg, use crutches for a few weeks to get back on your feet. But you shouldn’t lean on the crutches forever.

If you break a leg, use crutches for a few weeks to get back on your feet. But you shouldn’t lean on the crutches forever.

7. Failure is a part of life.

As Vince Lombardi once said, “It’s not whether you get knocked down; it’s whether you get up.” Accept failure as a part of life. As I said earlier, learn from it, and keep moving forward.

We will do well to take the exhortation from Paul in Galatians 6:4-5, “Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct.”

Let us revive the motto, “The buck stops here!” and be willing to accept personal responsibility in all areas of our lives. This ties into our next Wisdom Note when I will share some advice I would give to my younger self. In addition to our weekly Wisdom Notes, encourage your friends and family to also join us on our daily podcast – Wisdom-Trek, Creating a Legacy.

10 Ways to Master Your Discomfort

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In our previous Wisdom Note, we focused on learning to be comfortable with discomfort. This week we will expand that concept with 10 ways to master or overcome your discomfort. If you miss any of our Wisdom Notes, please go to the blog to read past newsletters.

Let me ask you this question, “Are you the master of your discomfort, or is it the master of you?” Here are 10 areas that you can help you learn to be comfortable with discomfort.

1. Avoid procrastination.

We procrastinate to avoid something that’s not comfortable, but if you can learn to stay on that task, even if it’s not comfortable, then you can master procrastination.

2. Exercise.

We avoid exercise because it’s not comfortable. We need to expand our comfort zones a little at a time. As an example, add one or two sit-ups, push-ups, or leg lifts to your total each week. We can make exercise something we’re comfortable with after a little repetition.

3. Writing.

If you want to write but always seem to put it off, that’s because writing is often difficult or less comfortable than checking email or social networks. Start with writing one paragraph a day, then expand on it as you gain more comfort. Stay with the discomfort, and you’ll soon be writing volumes.

4. Healthy eating.

It’s amazing how much our taste buds can change over time as we gradually get used to healthier foods. That means going through small periods of discomfort, but it’s not that bad in little doses. Push yourself to eat wholesome foods. Your body, mind, and soul will thank you.

5. Prayer and meditation.

We avoid the discomfort of setting time aside to reflect and pray. Start with 5 minutes a day and gradually add to it as you become more comfortable. It’s not that hard — just a little uncomfortable.

6. Waking early.

Waking early means being a little tired for a little while, but that’s not a horrible thing. Learn to get to bed a little earlier and waking earlier will become more comfortable. (Early is what you make it.)

7. Learning something new.

Want to learn something new? That means doing something you’re not used to, which can bring discomfort. Focus on the beneficial results of learning something new and push through your comfort zone.

8. Reading good books.

We tend to avoid simply sitting with a book because we are pulled towards something more comfortable like watching TV or browsing the internet. Books allow you to learn something new or go places in your mind that is uniquely your adventure.

9. Purge debt.

Most people do not deal with their debt issues because it brings discomfort. Not dealing with debt only prolongs that pain. Start by listing out your debts and bills, making a simple budget, and then sticking to it – no matter the discomfort in the short term. There are few things in life that are as comfortable and liberating as having no debt.

10. New adventures.

When you stay within the walls of your comfort zone, you are missing out on new experiences that might be a little uncomfortable at first but can be so beneficial. Discomfort can be the joyful key that opens up everything for you.

The primary reason that most people will not push past their discomfort is because of fear. Fear can cripple us. Within the Bible, there are over 350 instances where we are encouraged not to be afraid. One of those verses is Isaiah 41:10 where God tells us, “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”

As you consider the 10 ways to master your discomfort, you will experience a change in your life. Next week we will explore a new trail as we learn what personal responsibility means. In addition to our weekly Wisdom Notes, encourage your friends and family to also join us on our daily podcast – Wisdom-Trek, Creating a Legacy.

Learning to Be Comfortable with Discomfort

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In our previous Wisdom Note, we learned the ten laws of a living legacy. This week we will learn how to be comfortable with discomfort. If you miss any of our Wisdom Notes, please go to the blog to catch previous installments.

We hear often that in order to be successful, you must get out of your comfort zone. The fact is, it is a choice of either forcing yourself out of your comfort zone now while you have a choice or being forced out by the changing world around each of us.

As with everything that we face in life, the choice is yours. If you learn how to be comfortable with discomfort you can master pretty much anything. You can beat procrastination, start exercising, make your diet healthier, learn a new language, make it through challenges and physically grueling events, explore new things, speak on a stage, and let go of all that holds you back.

Unfortunately, most people avoid discomfort. I mean, they really avoid it — at the first sign of discomfort, they’ll run as fast as possible in the other direction. This is perhaps the biggest limiting factor for most people, and it’s why you can’t change your habits.

Think about this…Many people don’t eat vegetables or wholesome foods because they have convinced themselves they don’t like the taste. We’re not talking about soul-wrenching pain here. No one is torturing you. It’s just a taste that’s just not something you’re used to. So instead you eat what you already like, which is sweets and fried stuff and processed meats, cheeses, salty things, and lots of boxed foods that are highly processed with little or no nutritional content. The simple act of learning to get used to something that tastes different is not really that hard in the grand scheme of life. Yet, by not being a bit uncomfortable, it makes people unhealthy and usually overweight.

Somehow in our minds, we convince ourselves that we are avoiding discomfort when all the while we are creating a lifestyle of long-term discomfort that can have major significance on our quality of life and ability to live a vibrant legacy each day.

The beautiful thing is I learned through the years that a little discomfort isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it can be something you enjoy with a little training and consistent persistence. When you learn this, you will gain the skills needed to change any area of your life that needs to be changed. Master your fear of discomfort, and you can master your world to live the legacy life that you desire.

Avoidance of Discomfort

When people are stressed, they often turn to habits that are detrimental to them such as cigarettes, food, shopping, alcohol, drugs…anything to get rid of the discomfort of the thing that’s stressing them out. If you take a deeper look at the stress, it is usually an unfounded fear that’s causing it. Many times we end up worrying about those things we have no real control over. It may boil down to the fact that you have the fear that you’re not good enough in some facet of your life. If you examine the root cause, then you can choose to become comfortable with going through beneficial discomfort.

As an example, let’s say you start to exercise after being sedentary for a lengthy period of time. At first, you will be very uncomfortable. You will never feel like starting. It’s hard! It can make you sore. It’s not as easy as not exercising. It’s not something you’re used to doing, and you fear doing it wrong or looking stupid.

If you are not convinced in your mind of the value of being uncomfortable then after a while, you quit. It is really not horrible to be uncomfortable. It is a mindset shift that must be made. We’re not talking about incredible pain or losing life or limb, but just discomfort.

Even though I have been exercising every day for years, there are mornings I really do not want to. I have to remind myself that the temporary discomfort for that day is worth the healthy body, mind, and soul that is achieved, which brings me comfort.

Let’s look at another area of life…and that is comfort foods. By the very name, we are deceived into thinking that it will bring us comfort. When you first try to stay on a healthier regimen of eating, you may not like it. Eating green veggies, nuts, flax seeds, fruits, or black beans isn’t initially as thrilling as eating fried, fatty, salty, or sweet foods. It’s a form of discomfort to change your taste buds, but the truth is, it can easily happen if you just convince yourself that you are willing to become comfortable with a little discomfort.

Discomfort isn’t bad. It’s just not what we’re used to, so we avoid it. Avoidance comes at a real cost. The cost of not being able to change things, not being healthy, not being open to adventure and the chaos of real life. In both diet and exercise, you need to ask yourself at the beginning of each day, “How do I want to feel today?” This will put you on the right trail to make wise and prudent choices.

Each day ask yourself, “How do I want to feel today?” This will put you on the right trail to make wise and prudent choices.

Let us look to Moses as our example of someone who chose to be comfortable with discomfort which we read about in Hebrews 11:24-26, “It was by faith that Moses, when he grew up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter. He chose to share the oppression of God’s people instead of enjoying the fleeting pleasures of sin. He thought it was better to suffer for the sake of Christ than to own the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking ahead to his great reward.”

Mastering Discomfort

The way to master discomfort is to do it comfortably. That might sound contradictory, but it’s not. If you are afraid of discomfort and you try to beat discomfort with a really grueling activity, you will probably give up and fail and go back to your comfort zone.

Here are five ways to slowly become comfortable with discomfort.

1. Pick something that’s not hard.

Take time for daily prayer and meditation as an example. It’s not really that hard. You will need to set the time aside where you are not interrupted. Relax and allow this to be a time of reflection. Try to be conscious of your thoughts and don’t allow them to wander. This may bring some discomfort initially, but give it time.

2. Just do a little.

You don’t have to start by doing 30 minutes of something you’re not used to doing. Just do a few minutes. Just start.

3. Push out of your comfort zone, a little.

Let’s use the example of exercising. If you are not used to walking, start with walking around one block each day for a week. The next week, walk around one block and an additional 100 yards. Each week, push yourself just a little bit more than you are comfortable with. Soon you will become comfortable with the discomfort. Push yourself a little bit more each week.

4. Watch for discomfort.

Watch yourself as you get a bit uncomfortable — are you starting to complain – even if just to yourself. Are you looking for ways to avoid it? Are you coming up with excuses? That is when you need to push yourself just a little bit more.

5. Smile.

This is not trivial advice. If you can smile while being uncomfortable, you can learn to be happy with discomfort. It may take a little practice, but your attitude will change when you have a smile on your face. Repeat this practice daily. It will be strange at first, perhaps even difficult, but soon your comfort zone will expand. If you practice smiling while in discomfort and with different activities, your comfort zone will expand to include discomfort. Little by little, become the person that you are destined to be with your God-given talents and abilities.

As you consider the 5 ways to slowly learn how to be comfortable with discomfort, you will experience a change in your life. Next week on our trek, we will continue on the same theme and learn 10 Ways to Master Your Discomfort. In addition to our weekly Wisdom Notes, encourage your friends and family to also join us on our daily podcast – Wisdom-Trek, Creating a Legacy.

The 10 Laws of a Living Legacy

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In our previous Wisdom Note, we learned the five essential elements of success. This week we will learn the ten laws of a living legacy. If you miss any of our Wisdom Notes please go to the blog to catch up on previous installments.

Just as the Law of Gravity is an unchangeable law, if you desire to create and leave a living legacy, there are certain laws that you must follow in order to be successful.

If you want to achieve your true potential in creating and living your legacy that you were called to, you must start by being aware of who you are. Living your legacy is an internal change that will manifest itself externally.

Here are 10 guidelines or laws to help you, whether you’re just beginning your legacy trek or are far up the trail. These laws may not have been handed down on stone tablets, but if you follow them, you’ll find that indeed you are living a positive legacy each day.

1. Be more concerned with your character than your reputation

Your reputation is just what other people think; your character is what you really are. To live your legacy, you will face challenges that require a choice between character and compromise; every time you choose character, you gain positive ground. Character is the core of a living legacy.

2. Be committed in all that you do

To effectively live your legacy you have to be committed, and true commitment starts in the heart. It inspires and impacts others; it shows them you have convictions. They will believe in you because you take responsibility, and you are committed to living your legacy.

3. Listen more than you speak

Communication is critical in order to positively impact others. People want to emulate someone they can understand or someone who listens. As you live your legacy, you should listen far more than you speak, and when you do speak, make sure your words are consistent with your actions and character.

4. Always show the best of who you are in everything you do

It’s easy to admire those who are highly competent, but most of us will never be considered superstars. To live your legacy by having integrity in all that you do is crucial. Cultivate the competence you need to show up every day, to keep improving, to get ahead of the game where you can, and to keep setting the bar higher. Never stop growing yourself.

5. Stand brave even in the face of fear

To effectively live your legacy each day your dedication to your purpose and principles must remain stronger than your desire to appease others. You must be able to stretch past your comfort zone, to stand strong, and to make an impact on the lives of others who need to see your strength. You need to do the right thing when everyone else is frightened and to step forward in a bold way. Consider this statement, which is stated on our website serves as our vision: together we will create a legacy of wisdom, we will seek out discernment and insights, we will boldly grow where few have chosen to grow before, and we will live long and prosper as a result.

6. Always live by your convictions

To live your legacy, you must be willing to stand for something. Strong convictions precede great actions, and it is our convictions that call us to act with integrity. For those of us to whom much has been given, much is required. How you act, what you say, how you treat others – your convictions build the trust that a living legacy requires.

7. Stay focused on consistent excellence

Focus and concentration let you accomplish much while making an impact. It’s a discipline that allows you to evaluate what’s in front of you and set priorities and to live your legacy with consistent excellence.

8. Have a clear purpose, vision, and mission

From grand accomplishments to the small mundane daily tasks, creating a living legacy requires clarity. When you have a clear sense of your vision, mission, and purpose, you will effectively and positively impact others. They will also clearly see the standard of measure from your life.

9. Continually seek knowledge and wisdom

Self-growth and a robust commitment to lifelong learning and obtainment of wisdom are the most effective tools you can have impacting others with your living legacy. To continue to grow you need to be constantly looking for ways to improve yourself so that you can help others improve through your positive impact on them. Never stop asking questions and stretch yourself. Stay teachable, curious, and open.

10. Honor others and know their importance

When you understand that living a legacy is all about relationships, you truly know the importance of living in a way that positively impacts, builds, and strengthens connections with those around you every day.

As you consider the 10 guidelines or laws for creating and living your legacy remember to make every action count. It’s the one thing that will take what we have just learned and effectively impact others with meaning and significance. Living your legacy each day means to make every action, every word, every moment, and every relationship count.

Let’s wrap up our trek today as we consider the words of the Apostle Paul in the letter to the church in Ephesus in Chapter 5:15-17, “So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.”

The 10 Laws of a Living Legacy provides us with the guidelines that we need to have a significant and positive impact on the lives of everyone that we meet. Next week on our trek, we will learn to be comfortable with discomfort. In addition to our weekly Wisdom Notes, encourage your friends and family to also join us on our daily podcast – Wisdom-Trek, Creating a Legacy.

5 Essential Elements of Success

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In our previous Wisdom Note, we explored six guideposts to live an effective life. This week we will expand our thoughts about life and how we can be successful. If you miss any of our Wisdom Notes please go to the blog to read past newsletters.

What does it take to be successful in any area of life? Here are five elements that will help.

1. Passion

Bill Gates was able to build Microsoft and became the richest man in the world because he was passionate about his vision of putting “a computer on every desk in every home.” Passion, defined as intense emotional excitement, goes beyond mere enthusiasm.

How Passion Is an Element of Success

A person with passion is a person who can set goals. Without them, you’ll have no clear direction and will drift along the road of circumstances. Another technology visionary, Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple Computer, abandoned his studies at Reed College to pursue more lucrative goals. Once he identified his passion, he was impatient with a slow path to carrying it out. You, too, can recognize your passions. When you share your goals with others, however, don’t be surprised to hear things like, “Yes, but that’s not realistic,” or “That’s not practical.”

“You see things and say ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were and say ‘Why not?’” – George Bernard Shaw

2. Determination

A couple of years ago we watched a Dolly Parton TV special called A Coat of Many Colors. It was touching and inspiring. When it was Dolly’s turn at her high school graduation to announce her plans, she said, “I’m going to Nashville to become a star.” The entire place erupted in laughter. She was stunned, but that laughter instilled in her an even greater determination to realize her dream. Dolly went on to write over 3,000 songs. Today she holds the record for the number of awards for a female artist – including seven Grammy Awards and an Emmy. The first year her theme park Dollywood opened, in 1986, gross business revenues for the city of Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, jumped 47% over the previous year. Her Imagination Library program has been adopted in 600 communities in 41 states. Dolly is respectfully referred to as the “Tennessee Icon.”

How Determination Is an Element of Success

Without determination, a person can easily be lured away from their path. Many years ago, Viktor Frankl said, “Without a clear purpose, any obstacle will send a person in a new direction.” Stephen Covey, in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, talks about the tendency to respond to circumstances rather than priorities. Just recognize that if you respond to circumstances, any obstacle will send you off in a new direction. But with determination, you can establish priorities that will guide you through even challenging and unexpected circumstances.

3. Talent

As a young boy, Walt Disney lived in a world of fantasy and entertainment. When he first approached a Kansas City newspaper with his drawings, the editor told him, “These won’t do. If I were you, I’d give up this work. From these sketches, it’s obvious your talent lies elsewhere.” Walt could have easily given up. Here was a known “expert” telling him he had no talent for cartooning. He could have easily made excuses for not pursuing his dream to draw and write. All he could find for a studio was an old mouse-infested garage, but in that studio, Walt continued to draw his cartoons. We all know how one of those mice became an international household word. Talent is a funny thing. If you wait for perfect conditions, they will likely never appear.

How Talent Is an Element of Success

Talent allows a person to focus. No one has talent in every area; discover where you rise to the top. What are those things you love to do whether or not you get paid? Sometimes we discover that our first sense of “calling” is guided more by others’ expectations than as a true reflection of our strongest areas of competence. Your talent is an essential element for success when combined with the other elements. It may require that you invest heavily to allow your talent to bring success, but investment in yourself is never a loss. “If a man empties his purse into his head, no man can take it away from him. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.” – Benjamin Franklin

4. Self-Defense

Years ago, Jenny Craig was faced with losing 45 pounds. While losing it, she gained the self-discipline she needed to launch her own company. The estimated annual company sales today are $400 million.

How Self-Discipline Is an Element of Success

Without self-discipline, a person can easily be swayed by others. Self-discipline is the foundation that makes the other elements work. Knowing the other elements is the initial step, but acting on them always requires self-discipline. Self-discipline is not a hardship. It is a joy to be focused and intentional while others around you evidence their floundering lives with wasted time and resources. Maya Angelou persisted in her writing even when others discouraged her. At the time of her death, she enjoyed over $4 million yearly income.

5. Faith

Even with everything lining up logically or financially, real success requires that step of faith into the unknown. Remember Thomas Edison’s 10,000 failed attempts to invent the light bulb? He has the passion, determination, talent, and self-discipline to carry him on, but that alone did not bring him success. He had unwavering faith to believe that if God had allowed him to see it in his mind, it could become a physical reality.

How Faith is an Element of Success

Faith is best described in Hebrews 11:1-3, “Faith shows the reality of what we hope for; it is the evidence of things we cannot see. Through their faith, the people in days of old earned a good reputation. By faith we understand that the entire universe was formed at God’s command, that what we now see did not come from anything that can be seen.”

The five elements that we discovered this week will help us to refocus our lives so that we invest our time into what is most important and will bring success to our life purpose. Next week on our trek, we will study the ten laws of a living legacy. In addition to our weekly Wisdom Notes, encourage your friends and family to also join us on our daily podcast – Wisdom-Trek, Creating a Legacy.