Wisdom-Trek / Creating a Legacy

Welcome to Day 194 of our Wisdom-Trek, and thank you for joining me.

This is Guthrie Chamberlain, Your Guide to Wisdom

Rationalize or Rational Lies? Part 1

Thank you for joining us for our 7 days a week, 7 minutes of wisdom podcast. This is Day 194 of our Trek, and yesterday we learned the importance of collecting the dots on your trail of life so that you can connect the dots as you move forward in your trek of life. Today and tomorrow we are going to hike Rationalize Mountain and determine some of the reasons why we rationalize all sorts of actions and behaviors in our lives. If you miss any of our Wisdom-Trek episodes, please go to Wisdom-Trek.com to listen to them and read the daily journal.

We are recording our podcast from our studio at Home2 in Charlotte, North Carolina. Paula and I are looking forward to a “date-night” on Friday as we were gifted tickets to a performance of Charles Dickens, The Christmas Carol.  It is one of our favorite stories of the Christmas season.

Let’s begin our Trek for today to see how far we can hike, and then we will finish up the hike tomorrow. As we view Rationalize Mountain from the foothills, we start to come up with reasons why we just might not want to move forward. We might not want to face the fact that when we start to rationalize our actions in life, most of the time we are just telling ourselves “rational” lies to justify the actions that we take. So our Trek today will be called…

Rationalize or Rational Lies – which is it? #1

Are you rationalizing your decisions? Let me answer that for you real quick. Yes, you are. We all do. I do and so do you.  Even the very first two humans Adam and Eve rationalized their choice in the Garden of Eden as is written in Genesis 3:11-13, “Who told you that you were naked?” the Lord God asked. “Have you eaten from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat?” The man replied, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.” Then the Lord God asked the woman, “What have you done?” “The serpent deceived me,” she replied. “That’s why I ate it.”

Let’s move forward on our hike and we will discover:

• Why we humans rationalize our decisions
• The difference between what we think influences our decisions, and what really influences our decisions
• How being aware of this can help you make better decisions
• How it can help you influence others by appealing to the right motives

1. Why We Rationalize

We humans rationalize our decisions. All of us. Every day. But I can show you how to spot when you’re rationalizing your decisions and how to discover the real reasons behind your decisions. Then, I will show you how to use this to start making rational decisions.

Let’s say you go to an electronics store and a salesperson talks you into buying the newest gadget that has dozens of features you don’t need. Then you get home, and someone asks you why you bought it. You might well answer, “Well it does this and that, and it has this really cool feature, and look how useful this little feature is!”

The problem is that you find out that you really don’t end up using many of those features ever again after the first time you try them. This shows you that you didn’t really buy the gadget for those features. You bought it because you had a rush of emotions and you really wanted that gadget at the store. And when someone points out you made a silly decision there, you rationalize with all the features to show you actually made a good decision. So there’s your first reason why we humans rationalize…

· We rationalize to protect our egos.

But that’s not the only reason. Another reason is that we like to think we act rationally. We like to think we make all our decisions based on logic.

If you’re thinking right now “I do make all my decision based on logic!” then this podcast may make you a little uncomfortable. I don’t expect you to immediately accept my premise. I’m just asking you to keep an open mind and consider what I have to say. And, as you’re listening to this, try to think of times in your life when what I’m saying might have been true.

In a moment, I’m going to show you that you don’t make all your decisions rationally, but also that it doesn’t mean you’re an irrational impulsive being fully controlled by your emotions. As with everything that’s human, the truth lies somewhere in between.

Let’s continue upwards on our trail as we consider another reason why we rationalize. As our example, let’s think about the argument between using a Windows-based PC or a MAC.  Since we have been in the technology industry for over 30 years, we started in business at the birth of the personal computer era. The argument on whether a PC or MAC is the better computer is based on the individual, desires, and finances.  The argument between those two choices continues every day. It used to be more distinct, but with so many web-based programs, the traditional arguments are fading. You weigh the pros and cons and then make a logical decision…Or did you rationalize again and make a decision actually based on emotion? The second reason we rationalize is…

· We like to maintain the self-image of logical, rational beings.

The decisions you make are closely tied to your self-image. I might be making you seriously uncomfortable there if you never considered this before. Don’t worry. I don’t expect you to immediately give up your self-image. I’m just asking you to keep an open mind and consider the possibility that I might be right. I’ll try to show you some compelling reasons in the rest of this podcast today and tomorrow. Then you can watch for it in your own life and decide if I’m right based on your own personal experience.

2. What We Think Influences Our Decisions vs. What Really Influences Our Decisions

Here are a few questions for you to consider:

1. Why are motorcycles owned mostly by men?
2. Why do men participate in team sports so much more than women?
3. Why are men more fascinated by technological gadgets while women are fascinated by clothing and shoes?

Here’s a hint. None of the answers are based on logic.

Take a few moments to consider those questions. While I don’t usually generalize, here are some answers to the questions above.

1. Men have a biologically hardwired need for the feeling of freedom, more so than women. Men appear to have a greater need for significance while women need security. Both are emotionally driven traits.
2. Men have a hardwired need to be more competitive and know our rank among other males. It’s about the whole alpha male – beta male hierarchy. In the past, we used to fight each other to find out who’s the dominant guy. Today, since we’re civilized, we use sports and other forms of competition instead. Once again, this is an emotion with little logic.
3. This is a little more difficult to determine, and you may not agree with me. My thoughts are that males may be more naturally curious about new devices and they desire to know how they work while women care much more how they look. There are always exceptions, but generally most men don’t have the fashion sense that women do.

Okay, even if you don’t fully agree with my answers above, here’s a realization I’d like you to take away…Not everything we do has a logical reason behind it. So what influences our decisions?

We like to feel good about ourselves. We like to feel important. We like to feel attractive. We like to feel loved.  Notice a pattern there? Emotions drive most of our decisions.

Sure, you use perceived logic in carrying those needs out. You desire to buy cars, boats, clothing, and jewelry that are more expensive than you really need even if you go into debt to do so. Once you make the decision to purchase in your mind, you logically decide on the parameters that make the right decision, and logically decide how much you can afford to spend, and then you logically justify the purchase.

The above paragraph might be a bit confusing. But that’s because our thought processes are pretty complicated. We are always mixing emotions and logic when making decisions. Just remember one thing. The first step is always made by emotions, never by logic.

On the first part of our hike up Rationalize Mountain we explored why we rationalize when making decisions. Tomorrow we will finish our hike as we explore how to make better decisions ourselves, and how we can help others make better decisions. One good decision is to share Wisdom-Trek with your friends and family and encourage them to join us and come along tomorrow for another day of our Wisdom-Trek, Creating a Legacy as we continue our hike up Rationalize Mountain.

That will finish our podcast for today. Remember to listen to your daily dose of wisdom each day. Please share Wisdom-Trek with your family and friends through email, Facebook, Twitter, or in person so they can come along with us each day.

Thank you for allowing me to be your guide, mentor, and most of all your friend as I serve you through the Wisdom-Trek podcast and journal each day.

As we take this Trek together, let us always:

1. Live Abundantly (Fully)
2. Love Unconditionally
3. Listen Intentionally
4. Learn Continuously
5. Lend to others Generously
6. Lead with Integrity
7. Leave a Living Legacy Each Day

This is Guthrie Chamberlain reminding you to Keep Moving Forward, Enjoy Your Journey, and Create a Great Day Every Day! See you tomorrow!