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Day 191 – Conquering Alibi Mountain

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Wisdom-Trek / Creating a Legacy

Welcome to Day 191 of our Wisdom-Trek, and thank you for joining me.

This is Guthrie Chamberlain, Your Guide to Wisdom.

Conquering Alibi Mountain

Thank you for joining us for our 7 days a week, 7 minutes of wisdom podcast. This is Day 191 of our Trek, and yesterday we learned how to overcome the obstacles of conflict that may be blocking your trail to success. Today we are going to climb and conquer Alibi Mountain. If you miss any of our Wisdom-Trek episodes, please go to Wisdom-Trek.com to listen to them and read the daily journal.

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We are recording our podcast from our studio at Home2 in Charlotte, North Carolina. We traveled safely back to Indian Trail arriving late Sunday evening. As always, I am blessed to have Paula drive so that I am able to work on the Wisdom-Trek episodes. Our week is starting out busy as we had anticipated.

We were able to set up our outdoor silhouette Christmas Nativity set, which was made for us by a friend a few years ago. We are also decorating the house for Christmas. It is a little later than usual, but since we were at The Big House since before Thanksgiving, we did not have the prior opportunity. After discussing Christmas with our five grown children, we plan on having our family Christmas celebration on January 9th at our home in Indian Trail. This will allow them to have their own celebrations with their children on Christmas. Since we travel between The Big House and Home2 so often and the fact that The Big House has additional on-going renovations, this was the best solution where everyone could be present. We are looking forward to our delayed celebration.

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On today’s Trek, we want to climb and conquer Alibi Mountain, which is one of the most difficult hikes that we make in our lives. It is so easy to come up with excuses for why we are not able to do or accomplish certain things in life. In our hearts, though, we realize that it boils down to the fact that we don’t want to pay the price in time, energy, or resources to succeed at a certain task. We all do this, and none of us are exempt although there are certain individuals that are much better at coming up with convincing alibis.

It is so easy to come up with excuses for why we are not able to do or accomplish certain things in life. Just stop it!

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So let’s head out now to…

Conquering Alibi Mountain

People who do not succeed have one distinguishing trait in common. They know all the reasons for failure and have what they believe to be valid alibis that are impossible to overcome. Very few realistic goals or ambitions are unachievable, except for in our minds. Now it is true that at 5’ 4” in height, it would be very difficult for me to become a quarterback in the NFL or a center in the NBA, but we are speaking of realistic opportunities that we have in life.

Our true choices that we have available for this season of life are somewhat controlled by choices that we have made in the past. But be very careful that you do not manufacture alibis that are not true. As we hike up Alibi Mountain, let us destroy all of the “If Only” rabbit trails that we find ourselves going down. I will read off each trail as we pass them, and then we can move beyond each one as we scale to success summit.

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The “If Only” Rabbit Trails for not achieving in life are…

  • If only I had time…
  • If only times were better…
  • If only other people understood…
  • If only conditions around me were different…
  • If only I could live my life over again…
  • If only I did not fear what “they” would say…
  • If only I had been given a chance…
  • If only I were younger…
  • If only I were older…
  • If only I were thinner…
  • If only I were better looking…
  • If only I were in better health…
  • If only I had the talent that some people have…
  • If only I dared assert myself…
  • If only I had someone to help me…
  • If only I could just get started…
  • If only my talents were known…
  • If only I could just get a “break”…
  • If only I didn’t have so many worries…
  • If only I were sure of myself…
  • If only luck was not against me…
  • If only I didn’t have to work so hard…
  • If only I didn’t have the past…
  • If only other people would listen to me…
  • If only —and this is the greatest of them all—I had the courage to see myself as I really am…
  • If only…You fill in the blank with your best alibi.

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Building alibis with which to explain away failure is a national pastime. The habit is as old as the human race and is fatal to success!

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But we have a resource…the very creator of the universe that we can draw on to provide us with all that we need. Here are a few passages that may help…

Romans 8:15 – So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.”

Romans 8:38 – And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.

2 Timothy 1:7 – For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

1 John 4:18 – Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.

2 Peter 1:3 – By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence.

Matthew 19:26 – Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.” 

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As we are approaching the summit of Alibi Mountain, we have passed all of the “If Only” Rabbit Trails. I would encourage you to pursue your dreams and carry on no matter what you face. Think about this as I read the inspirational poem titled…

“Don’t Quit”

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit—
Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is odd with its twists and turns,
As everyone sometimes learns.
And many a person turns about
When an individual might have won
had he or she stuck it out.
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow—
You may succeed with yet another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than it seems that we can
To a faint and faltering woman or man;
Often the struggler has given up
When he or she might have captured the victor’s cup;
And one learned too late when the night came down,
How close he or she was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out—
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And when you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit—
It’s when things seem worst, you mustn’t quit.

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So in our trek of life, don’t quit, and you will soon conquer Alibi Mountain. As we reach the summit, our trail leads us to the rich and satisfying life God desires us to have. As you travel through each day, please share Wisdom-Trek with your friends and family and encourage them to join us and come along tomorrow for another day of our Wisdom-Trek, Creating a Legacy as we explore the Ink Trail and the concept of “Ink it when you think it.”

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That will finish our podcast for today. Remember to listen to your daily dose of wisdom each day. Please share Wisdom-Trek with your family and friends through email, Facebook, Twitter, or in person so they can come along with us each day.

If you would like to be added to our weekly email update and special publications from Wisdom-Trek, just text the word “Wisdom” to 44222 on your phone, and you will receive a message asking for your email address. It is very quick and easy to do.

Thank you for allowing me to be your guide, mentor, and most of all your friend as I serve you through the Wisdom-Trek podcast and journal each day.

As we take this Trek together, let us always:

  1. Live Abundantly (Fully)
  2. Love Unconditionally
  3. Listen Intentionally
  4. Learn Continuously
  5. Lend to others Generously
  6. Lead with Integrity
  7. Leave a Living Legacy Each Day

This is Guthrie Chamberlain reminding you to Keep Moving Forward, Enjoy Your Journey, and Create a Great Day Every Day! See you tomorrow!

Day 190 – Overcoming Conflict

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Wisdom-Trek / Creating a Legacy

Welcome to Day 190 of our Wisdom-Trek, and thank you for joining me.

This is Guthrie Chamberlain, Your Guide to Wisdom.

Overcoming Conflict

Thank you for joining us for our 7 days a week, 7 minutes of wisdom podcast. This is Day 190 of our Trek, and yesterday we explored why it is wise to always discuss issues and not argue. Today on our trail to success, we will learn how to overcome the obstacles of conflict that may be blocking your trail. If you miss any of our Wisdom-Trek episodes, please go to Wisdom-Trek.com to listen to them and read the daily journal.

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We are recording our podcast from our studio at The Big House in Marietta, Ohio.  Saturday I spent over 9 hours taking down acoustical ceiling tiles, trim, and wallpaper.  It required a lot of going up and down on the ladder and removing hundreds of staples that were holding up the tiles using needle nose pliers. Fortunately, the wallpaper came off easily. To say that I was exhausted at the end of the day would be an understatement.  The Marietta grandkids came over for the evening and assisted with some final wallpaper removal, and Paula and her mom were a big help picking up most of the tiles and wallpaper.

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On Sunday, I spoke at the morning service at Putnam Congregational Church.  The lesson was the 5 Principles of Planting and Harvesting, which compared farming to planting and harvesting in our own personal lives. If you would like to hear a similar lesson, listen to Day 15 of our Wisdom-Trek, which is the outline that I used for the lesson today.

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After church, we finished packing up the car and headed to Home2 in Indian Trail, North Carolina. We will remain there until Christmas Eve when we will head back north again. We will be at Home2 for about 2 ½ weeks with much work and many activities already planned.

It is now time to head out on our Trek for today, and it has been reported that there are some major obstacles on our trail. The obstacles seem to be caused by conflicts that we are having with other people as well as conflicts that people are having with us. In both types of conflicts, we need to come up with a solution that will get us around or through these obstacles.

Overcome Conflicts Which Block Success

Anytime you are making ground and moving toward success, there will inevitably be the opportunity for conflict. That is just a fact of life. You put two people or more in a group, and there is potential for conflict. And conflict, improperly handled, can destroy your ability to continue on and achieve your goals.

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This is true in many areas of life from home, to work, and even with school. It can happen in marriage, and it can happen to family members, friends, and business associates. And when conflict goes bad, success will be limited. The good news is that conflict, when handled properly, can be healthy and actually move you closer to success. Success is based on relationships and relationships offer the chance of conflict, so to get success, you must master conflict. With that in mind, here are some ideas for handling conflict.

When you are the one who is confronting the problem with someone else:

  1. Don’t assume. Don’t assume the worst. Don’t assume that they meant what you think they did. Don’t assume they know any better. Don’t assume they did it on purpose. The fact is that most of the time our assumptions are incorrect and all our assumptions do is cause us to get into a deeper hole.
  2. Ask questions. Since you can’t assume anything, you must begin your confrontation by finding out the facts as that person sees them. Some questions to ask include What was your intention in saying or doing that? (Maybe they had good but misguided intentions.), What were the thoughts behind those words or actions? (Maybe they actually have a well thought out position that you hadn’t thought of.), and Are you aware of how that might have been perceived? (Maybe they just missed how that would be seen. Everybody is entitled to blow it.).
  3. Tell them how you perceive things, or how you feel, rather than what they did. It is never good to start out with telling somebody, “You did this!” Instead, you can say something like, “I feel like your action may have been better if you would have…” Or, “I think that the way that came across may have been…”
  4. Deal with one issue at a time. If they battle back a bit, you may be tempted to say, “Well, that isn’t all! As a matter of fact, a number of us here think that you also need to work on…” If there is another issue, then deal with it at a separate time. Too many conflicts go around and around and don’t end up solving the original issue. Stick to one point and see it through to understanding.

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When someone is confronting you:

  1. Don’t take it personally. Worst-case scenario, you blew it. But that doesn’t make you a bad person. So don’t act like they have accused your character (unless they have, in which case you should try to get the conversation back to the facts). When we take things personally, we become even more protective and we tend to become defensive and in the end escalate the conflict even more.
  2. Don’t counterattack. This gets back to dealing with one issue at a time. Don’t try to justify or hide from the conflict the person has with you by showing him or her their problems. If they have a problem, fine. But, talk about it later. Don’t muddy the waters with debate about who is better, or as the case may be, less guilty. As hard as it may be, let the conversation run its course until it is solved.
  3. Ask for some time to give it objective reflection. One way to stop conflict from escalating is simply to ask for time to consider it. Most of the time when people confront us, we had no idea it was coming. Our natural tendency is to fight out of reaction. If we go and think about it, we can be objective and approach the situation objectively, or at least more so.
  4. Set a time to get back with them and discuss the issue. Let the person know that you take their concern seriously and that you want to deal with it promptly. Set a time, no more than three days away, to get back together. You will keep from reacting, and they may even find that they had confronted too soon themselves.

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Either way, here are three points that may help you over or through the obstacles of conflict that are on your trails of life:

  1. Keep your eye on the big picture.
    • 1 Peter 4:8 – Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.
  2. Always respect the other person as a person.
    • Colossians 3:12-14 – Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.
  3. Be solution oriented.
    • Romans 12:16 – Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!

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Conflict doesn’t have to end in a bad way. In fact, it can cause you to develop a deeper and more trusting relationship with the person you have had a conflict with. So the next time you have to confront or you are being confronted, follow the advice above, and you will be much further along toward getting through your conflict in a positive way.

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As we trek through life each day, overcome the obstacles of conflict which will block your trail to a rich and satisfying life. Be willing to work through all issues and focus on what is most important in life. As you travel each day, please share Wisdom-Trek with your friends and family and encourage them to join us and come along tomorrow for another day of our Wisdom-Trek, Creating a Legacy as we conquer Alibi Mountain.

That will finish our podcast for today. Remember to listen to your daily dose of wisdom each day. Please share Wisdom-Trek with your family and friends through email, Facebook, Twitter, or in person so they can come along with us each day.

If you would like to be added to our weekly email update and special publications from Wisdom-Trek, just text the word “Wisdom” to 44222 on your phone, and you will receive a message asking for your email address. It is very quick and easy to do.

Thank you for allowing me to be your guide, mentor, and most of all your friend as I serve you through the Wisdom-Trek podcast and journal each day.

As we take this Trek together, let us always:

  1. Live Abundantly (Fully)
  2. Love Unconditionally
  3. Listen Intentionally
  4. Learn Continuously
  5. Lend to others Generously
  6. Lead with Integrity
  7. Leave a Living Legacy Each Day

This is Guthrie Chamberlain reminding you to Keep Moving Forward, Enjoy Your Journey, and Create a Great Day Every Day! See you tomorrow!

Day 189 – Discuss, Never Argue

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Wisdom-Trek / Creating a Legacy

Welcome to Day 189 of our Wisdom-Trek, and thank you for joining me.

This is Guthrie Chamberlain, Your Guide to Wisdom.

Discuss, Never Argue

Thank you for joining us for our 7 days a week, 7 minutes of wisdom podcast. This is Day 189 of our Trek, and yesterday we studied The Science of Making Wise Decisions. Today we will explore why it is wise to always discuss issues and not argue. If you miss any of our Wisdom-Trek episodes, please go to Wisdom-Trek.com to listen to them and read the daily journal.

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We are recording our podcast from our studio at The Big House in Marietta, Ohio.  After meeting with our renovation contractor, we decided to go ahead and have the ceilings in the library, parlor and downstairs hallway/foyer all dry walled at the same time since it will save us the additional cost of mobilization and scheduling. Because of this, I will be working on Saturday to remove the acoustical ceiling tiles in the parlor and downstairs hallway/foyer.  This was not part of our plan for this weekend, so I will have to work quickly to get it all completed. We will also be looking at replacing the windows in the library and parlor this spring. The original windows in the house are drafty and not as functional as they should be.

We are looking forward to the Marietta grandkids coming over Saturday evening, and I am sure they will love helping Gramps with additional renovations. I will leave the wallpaper for them to remove.  It is quite old and comes off easily.

Let’s move on to our Trek for today as we set out on our trail to discover why it is wise and prudent to always discuss matters of differences and avoid arguing.  When Paula and I were dating the year before being married, one ground rule that I set between us is that I would not argue with her. I wanted to set the guideline for our marriage and felt that as differences arose, then as intelligent and rational adults we could calmly discuss any issues that we may have. After over 36 years of marriage, I can say that we have kept that commitment and have never had any type of significant arguments between us. It is possible if you are committed to making it work.

It is wise and prudent to always discuss matters of differences and avoid arguing.

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Now onto our trail for today, which we will call…

Discuss, Never Argue

There are some personalities that can be labeled as argumentative and that shows in their behavior and relationships. Arguments can be avoided and a lot of heartaches prevented by being a little careful. The best way to win an argument is to avoid it. An argument is one thing you will never win. If you win, you lose; if you lose, you lose. If you win an argument but lose a good job, customer, friend, or marriage, what kind of victory is it? Pretty empty.

Arguments result from an inflated ego. Arguing is like fighting a losing battle. Even if one wins, the cost may be more than the victory is worth. Emotional battles leave a residual ill will, even if you win. In an argument, both people are trying to have the last word. The argument is nothing more than a battle of egos, which results in a yelling contest.

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· How do you “Argue” With Your Spouse or Close Friend?

There should be no losers. Do you really want your spouse, whom you love, or friend to lose an argument with you? Think how constantly losing arguments with you plays on your spouse’s or friend’s self-esteem. Did you know spouses influence each other’s self-esteem more than any other factor during their married life? Arguments are usually started because one spouse feels that the other is messed up or wrong. The Bible has something to say about how to correct someone when you feel they are wrong.

The Bible teaches that love should be “slow to anger” and that love “covers a multitude of sins” and that we should not think we are better than others (including our spouse). As Jesus’s half-brother, James wrote in his letter in  James [1:19]-20,

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.

So when a married couple loves each other, they will not be quick to correct each other, especially when we approach it with a wrong attitude.

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But what if your spouse is selfish and doesn’t seem to ever want to change and you feel you cannot overlook their selfishness any longer, how should you deal with your spouse? Galatians 6: 1 says, “Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.”

And, Ephesians 5: 25 says, “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.”

These two verses teach us that when we feel our spouse (or really anyone) is wrong, we should be very humble and gentle with them and love them to the point of being willing to give our life for them, as Jesus did for the church. This is a prayer that I pray every morning that I would love Paula as Christ loved the church…It certainly has helped me to stay focused on our relationship.

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As Christ Loves the Church

· Is anything really worth arguing about?

Ephesians 4:26 says,  “And ‘don’t sin by letting anger control you.’ Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry.”

The more arguments you win, the fewer friends you have. Even if you are right, is it worth arguing? The answer is pretty obvious, a big “No.” Does that mean one should never bring up a point when they disagree?

The more arguments you win, the fewer friends you have.

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One should but gently and tactfully by saying something neutral such as “based on my information…” If the other person is argumentative, even if you can prove him wrong, is it worth it? I don’t think so. Do you make your point a second time? You wouldn’t. Why? Because the argument is coming from a closed mind trying to prove who is right rather than what is right.

For example, say you are at a social gathering, and a good friend authoritatively says, “Guns are to blame for the recent upswing in violence in certain parts of the world.” You happen to know (or at least believe) that his information is incorrect, and it is a breakdown in families and social structure that is causing the increase in violence. So, you bring up your research and studies in Google that “prove” your point. Do you make your point?  Maybe, but the other person could probably bring up numerous “studies” that prove that he is correct. So, what should you do at this point? Well, you could do one of four things…

  1. Make your point again and start an argument.
  2. Bring up your studies on your phone or tablet to prove your point.
  3. Avoid it.
  4. Discuss but don’t argue. 

The right choice is number 3 or at best a calm number 4. This is the type of topic that you can easily find studies to prove whatever you want to. In the end, no one wins. As the old saying goes, “A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.”

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If you want to accomplish great things in life, you must be wise and practice discernment and maturity. Maturity means not getting entangled in unimportant things and petty arguments.  All arguments will eventually become petty.

· What is the difference between an argument and a discussion?

  • An argument throws heat; a discussion throws light.
  • An argument stems from ego and a closed mind whereas a discussion comes from an open mind and a desire to learn and possibly change.
  • An argument is an exchange of ignorance whereas a discussion is an exchange of knowledge.
  • An argument is an expression of temper whereas a discussion is an expression of logic.
  • An argument tries to prove who is right whereas a discussion tries to prove what is right.

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Make it a habit to avoid arguments at all cost.  If a subject is worth debating, it is worth discussing.  You never win an argument because everyone loses. That will end our discussion for today, but please share Wisdom-Trek with your friends and family and encourage them to join us and come along tomorrow for another day of our Wisdom-Trek, Creating a Legacy as we expand our trail from today and learn how not to let conflict keep you from success.

That will finish our podcast for today. Remember to listen to your daily dose of wisdom each day. Please share Wisdom-Trek with your family and friends through email, Facebook, Twitter, or in person so they can come along with us each day.

If you would like to be added to our weekly email update and special publications from Wisdom-Trek, just text the word “Wisdom” to 44222 on your phone, and you will receive a message asking for your email address. It is very quick and easy to do.

Thank you for allowing me to be your guide, mentor, and most of all your friend as I serve you through the Wisdom-Trek podcast and journal each day.

As we take this Trek together, let us always:

  1. Live Abundantly (Fully)
  2. Love Unconditionally
  3. Listen Intentionally
  4. Learn Continuously
  5. Lend to others Generously
  6. Lead with Integrity
  7. Leave a Living Legacy Each Day

This is Guthrie Chamberlain reminding you to Keep Moving Forward, Enjoy Your Journey, and Create a Great Day Every Day! See you tomorrow!

Day 188 – The Science of Making Wise Decisions

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Wisdom-Trek / Creating a Legacy

Welcome to Day 188 of our Wisdom-Trek, and thank you for joining me.

This is Guthrie Chamberlain, Your Guide to Wisdom.

The Science of Making Wise Decisions

Thank you for joining us for our 7 days a week, 7 minutes of wisdom podcast. This is Day 188 of our Trek, and yesterday we hiked the trail of 10 Principles for Gaining Self-Confidence. Today we will study The Science of Making Wise Decisions. If you miss any of our Wisdom-Trek episodes, please go to Wisdom-Trek.com to listen to them and read the daily journal.

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We are recording our podcast from our studio at The Big House in Marietta, Ohio. We are making some progress on the library. After removing the ceiling tiles, we have determined that the plaster ceiling that was under them is not suitable to finish, so we will need to have that ceiling dry-walled. Since I am not skilled in installing drywall, we have contacted our renovation contractor to see if he has time in his schedule. We were hoping to avoid the extra expense of the drywall, but it was not to be. These are the joys of renovating an older large home.

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Library Ceiling

Our client work has been extremely brisk this week, but we are making progress. It is my hope that I will be able to do some 2016 planning on Saturday before having our grandkids in for the evening.

It is time to shift now, and make some decisions about our trek today. Every day of our trek of life is filled with decisions.  If we make wise decisions, then the opportunities and choices for our lives are expanded. If we make unwise decisions, then our opportunities and choices for life are limited by those decisions. On today’s trek we will explore…

The Science of Making Wise Decisions

To think we go through our day, every day, making decision after decision without really thinking about how we do it. At least until something challenging pops up, and then we wring our hands and constantly repeat, “I just don’t know what to do.”

Even in those moments, we naturally seek out the opinions and advice of people we love and trust. But still, we hesitate, worry, and procrastinate, putting off the puzzling choice. We fear it will be the wrong choice. We fear the consequences of our perplexing decision. We worry about people getting hurt.

But, there is hope!

Decisions

 

  • The Study of Making Wise Decisions

People actually study the process of decision making! They develop models for making decisions with algorithms, equations, and even games of chance (flipping a coin). However, most studies agree on the 6 C’s of decision making:

  • Construct
  • Compile
  • Collect
  • Compare
  • Consider
  • Commit

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Yet, few take into consideration our access to the God of All – the very creator of the universe.  Learn to make some big decisions using the 6 C’s plus a 7th C, which is Christ!

  • The 7 C’s of Making Wise Decisions

We must take an active role in the decisions that we make to ensure that they are good and wise, but we also have to realize that our wisdom actually comes from God as is mentioned in Proverbs 16:1-4,

We can make our own plans, but the Lord gives the right answer.

 People may be pure in their own eyes, but the Lord examines their motives.

Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed.

The Lord has made everything for his own purposes, even the wicked for a day of disaster. 

As we take the advice from the above passage, let us then weave it into our decision-making model:

  1. Construct – Think of this as drawing a map. You want to know exactly what needs to be decided. Are you deciding to move or drive to a job site two hours from home? Be crystal clear about the choice you need to make.
  2. Compile – Make a list of the requirements which must be met. For example, salary, time with family, and job satisfaction. The list will include both facts and figures (quantifiable) but also attitudes and opinions (unquantifiable) of all interested parties.
  3. Collect – Collect information on alternatives to the decision you are facing. Consider options you have not explored that are relevant to the situation AND that meet the requirements from your compiled list. In the case of the job, you could consider turning it down, living away from home and renting during the week, waiting for the school year to be over before moving, etc.
  4. Compare – Compare the alternatives to the major choice. Consider what makes one better than another. Examine each choice from all angles.
  5. Consider – Think about all the possible positive and negative consequences of each choice. Ask what could go right or wrong for every idea on the table.
  6. Commit – Make a decision and go for it.

As a Christ follower, we have a distinct advantage in decision making. That advantage comes in the form of prayer, communication, and counsel. Let’s change up a couple of these to take into account the wisdom that we can gain through God’s Word, which was manifested in Christ.  The 7th C of making wise decisions is the most important step.

Use all your worldly and spiritual resources to make decisions; God gave us a brain and free will for a reason. But remember Proverbs 16:9, and find peace in it…

We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.

  1. Consult with Christ

Consider with Prayer – Of course you could spend a lot of your time and even get stuck in the consideration stage wondering what could go wrong, or you can pray as is encouraged in Philippians 4:6…

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.

You don’t have to continuously struggle with what-could-go-wrong. You will get the answers you seek when you pray.

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Communicate – Consider seeking wise counsel as instructed by the Word of God. We are to communicate with those people in our lives that care the most for us. Can you imagine making a major decision without discussing it with your spouse or close friend? This whole process should be undertaken with your spouse or a close friend. Each of you will have a unique perspective on every one of the C’s of decision making. Additionally praying about it, together and individually, will lead to unity in the decision. God will speak to you both. It’s just good sense! Proverbs [16:20]-22 provides us with sound advice…

 Those who listen to instruction will prosper; those who trust the Lord will be joyful.

The wise are known for their understanding, and pleasant words are persuasive.

Discretion is a life-giving fountain to those who possess it, but discipline is wasted on fools

Counsel – Seeking the counsel of your spouse or friend is not the only wisdom you should pursue. Sage counsel and wisdom involve being fully informed. It’s also sometimes prudent to talk to a mentor, pastor, or a professional counselor. Get wisdom as Proverbs 16:16 says, “How much better to get wisdom than gold, and good judgment than silver!”

Control – Give it up! God asks us to seek Him. Matthew 7:8 says, “For everyone who asks, Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. He tells us when we ask we will get an answer, when we seek we will find, and when we knock the door will be opened.” Bottom line – God won’t leave you dangling. We may make our plans, but God controls the outcome. Proverbs 16:33 reminds, “We may throw the dice, but the Lord determines how they fall.”

The 7 C’s of decision making provide sound guidelines that, if followed will allow us to make good and wise choices. Put these guidelines into practice for every decision that you make. Just as you have made a wise decision to listen to Wisdom-Trek each day, share Wisdom-Trek with your friends and family and encourage them to join us and come along tomorrow for another day of our Wisdom-Trek, Creating a Legacy. We will look at why we should never argue but instead learn to discuss.

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That will finish our podcast for today. Remember to listen to your daily dose of wisdom each day. Please share Wisdom-Trek with your family and friends through email, Facebook, Twitter, or in person so they can come along with us each day.

If you would like to be added to our weekly email update and special publications from Wisdom-Trek, just text the word “Wisdom” to 44222 on your phone, and you will receive a message asking for your email address. It is very quick and easy to do.

Thank you for allowing me to be your guide, mentor, and most of all your friend as I serve you through the Wisdom-Trek podcast and journal each day.

As we take this Trek together, let us always:

  1. Live Abundantly (Fully)
  2. Love Unconditionally
  3. Listen Intentionally
  4. Learn Continuously
  5. Lend to others Generously
  6. Lead with Integrity
  7. Leave a Living Legacy Each Day

This is Guthrie Chamberlain reminding you to Keep Moving Forward, Enjoy Your Journey, and Create a Great Day Every Day! See you tomorrow!

Day 187 – The 10 Principles of Self-Confidence

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Wisdom-Trek / Creating a Legacy

Welcome to Day 187 of our Wisdom-Trek, and thank you for joining me.

This is Guthrie Chamberlain, Your Guide to Wisdom.

The 10 Principles of Self-Confidence

Thank you for joining us for our 7 days a week, 7 minutes of wisdom podcast. This is Day 187 of our Trek, and yesterday we learned the 10 habits to create a better day. Today we will expand this concept as we hike the trail of 10 Principles for Gaining Self-Confidence. If you miss any of our Wisdom-Trek episodes, please go to Wisdom-Trek.com to listen to them and read the daily journal.

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We are recording our podcast from our studio at The Big House in Marietta, Ohio. It was a bit of a windy day, and the large wind chimes provided us nature’s music throughout the entire day. Our workload continues very full this week, so it has left little time for focusing on our 2016 business plans so far. As the Christmas holiday approaches, we hope that we will see a bit of a slowdown, and we will take advantage of those opportunities. We will be watching our four Marietta grandkids on Saturday evening while Elizabeth and Nat attend his company Christmas dinner. I also have the privilege of speaking again at Putnam Congregational Church this Sunday, so I am preparing for that as well.

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Time to head out on our trek for today as we hike the Self-Confidence trail and search for the 10 principles that we can apply to our lives that will allow us to gain confidence and esteem. Self-confidence is manifested as an opposite of arrogance, which is usually a result of low self-esteem.

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As we begin today, consider this quote from Malcolm Forbes, “Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” This quote can be linked to a Bible verse that I have used a couple of times in the past week, which is Psalm 139:14, “Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.” Another verse that should help us to gain confidence is Ephesians 2:10, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” 

As we meditate on these two verses, it is not arrogance that we should gain but a humble thankfulness to God for who we are in His sight.

Let us focus today on…

The 10 Principles of Self-Confidence

 

1. The importance of self-confidence in our lives cannot be overstated.

It is, after all, a lack of self-confidence that causes our lives to be tossed to and fro by the sway of culture. From the very beginning, we see the harmful effects of low self-confidence on our decision-making process while the fear of rejection becomes an all too common presence in our lives. It causes many to adopt the values of the group and engage in otherwise undesired behavior.

Simply put, the need for love, belonging, and acceptance becomes stronger than the internal compass within us. And many unhealthy life choices begin to emerge.

In adolescence, this need for acceptance begins to show itself in substance-abuse, underage-drinking, dangerous sexual practices, or mischievous behavior. As we get older, some of these habits remain, but new ones also begin to emerge.

The desire to find acceptance by impressing those around me with my possessions begins to motivate aspects of my life. And whether it be a certain home-size, vehicle-model, fashion trend, or latest technology, many of our purchases are made with a simple desire to keep up with the neighbors and not be regarded as “falling behind.” Our need to impress and be accepted becomes more important than wise spending habits.

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2. Self-confidence redirects our life.

It begins to realign our desires with the unique heart inside us. It allows us to reject the trends of a culture built on consumption. When it is present in our lives, we begin to believe that we exist for a greater purpose than shopping on Black Friday. The need to impress others with our belongings is replaced by an internal desire to follow our heart and soul and to embrace the desires deep in our souls is to reject the notion of shopping for acceptance.

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3. Stop comparing yourself.

Reject the desire to compare yourself to others. When we compare ourselves to others, we always contrast the worst things we know about ourselves to the best things we know about others. The inevitable outcome always leaves us with feelings of inadequacy and despair. Become wiser. Tell yourself that you can’t possibly be making a fair comparison and reject the idea altogether.

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4. Celebrate your uniqueness.

Your life was never meant to be lived like everyone else. You don’t look the same, you don’t sound the same, your talents aren’t the same, and your deep-held values are unique. Throwing that away just for the sake of being accepted by others is one of the cruelest things that you can ever do. And it will always prevent you from fully living your life. Instead, champion the things that make you unique and find confidence in them.

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5. Focus on the positives.

Change your thinking. Focus less on the negatives and more on the positives. Stop dwelling on the negative messages of the past and begin centering yourself on the positive traits in your life today.

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6. See past failures as learning opportunities.

We’ve all tried and failed at some point in our lives. Confident people look back at failures and view them as learning experiences. In that way, failures can actually provide greater self-confidence moving forward. Learn from your mistakes and try again. Remember that it’s not over when you lose, it’s over when you quit.

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7.   Help someone else.

One of the most important steps to finding self-confidence in your life is to give yourself to others. Serving another person almost always results in the healthy realization that you are important in this world, that you have something to offer, and that the world is more beautiful because of your presence. See a need around you? Whether it be a need for time, finances, or a listening ear, meet it today. And the life you change just may be your own.

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8. Begin realizing a life goal.

Intentionally and specifically, begin working towards a life goal. Know that taking the first step is a momentum builder and can generate confidence in your life. There is a powerful difference between “I want to…” and “I’m beginning to…” So write the first page, run the first mile, or meet the first person. You know what you want to accomplish, and you know what the first step is. Stop telling yourself it’s out of reach and take the first step.

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9. Accept your weaknesses.

While dwelling on our weaknesses leads to a lack of self-confidence, accepting them is an important step in developing it. First, it keeps us from unhealthy delusions of grandeur. It embraces that we are not perfect and forces us to live our lives in a healthy need for others. Secondly, it provides us with the foundation to accept failures when they arise. We are not caught off-guard when we fail. Instead, we are simply again reminded of our need for others to compliment our weaknesses.

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10. Be known and loved.

There is no greater key to self-confidence than being intimately known and genuinely loved by another. Allowing another human being into the deepest depths of our heart is one of the single most difficult acts in the world today. But doing it (and being loved despite of it) breathes life into our soul and builds confidence in our inner-most being, and this confidence continues to grow as the commitment to each other deepens.

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To be clear, the importance of self-confidence in our lives cannot be overstated. It provides the motivation to pursue our passions. It provides the foundation to reject the claims of a consumerist culture. And it provides the incentive to live the life you’ve always wanted to live.

Your capacity to love others is a manifestation of how much you love yourself. Galatians 5:14, “For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

The 10 Principles of Self-Confidence are universal.  Review them and then practice them each day.  As you gain confidence in yourself, share Wisdom-Trek with your friends and family and encourage them to join us and come along tomorrow for another day of our Wisdom-Trek, Creating a Legacy as we explore the basic rules for making good and wise decisions.

That will finish our podcast for today. Remember to listen to your daily dose of wisdom each day. Please share Wisdom-Trek with your family and friends through email, Facebook, Twitter, or in person so they can come along with us each day.

If you would like to be added to our weekly email update and special publications from Wisdom-Trek, just text the word “Wisdom” to 44222 on your phone, and you will receive a message asking for your email address. It is very quick and easy to do.

Thank you for allowing me to be your guide, mentor, and most of all your friend as I serve you through the Wisdom-Trek podcast and journal each day.

As we take this Trek together, let us always:

  1. Live Abundantly (Fully)
  2. Love Unconditionally
  3. Listen Intentionally
  4. Learn Continuously
  5. Lend to others Generously
  6. Lead with Integrity
  7. Leave a Living Legacy Each Day

This is Guthrie Chamberlain reminding you to Keep Moving Forward, Enjoy Your Journey, and Create a Great Day Every Day! See you tomorrow!